Girlfriend Gets Dumped, Goes to Ex's Mom for Support and Leaves Crying

Advertisement
  • 01
    Font - r/AmItheAhole Posted by u/throwawawa7 8 hours ago AITA for giving my son's ex a "reality check?" I don't really know the full details but my son broke up with his girlfriend for college due to the distance. He didn't really show any emotions but it was clear that he was a bit sad. I mean, I get it. They were together for two years and she was a sweet girl. I was also aware that they had planned on staying friends.
  • 02
    Font - Well it's been a while since he left and it's been pretty hard. He's having loads of fun though so I'm glad. Anyways, yesterday his ex girlfriend knocked at our door. I let her in and well she just started bawling. Obviously I comforted her and asked her if everything was okay and she told me that she thinks my son has found a new girl.
  • 03
    Font - I already knew because when my husband and I called him the day before, his dad made a joke about girls and the way he acted seemed like there was someone. I didn't know exactly what to say so I just said I was sorry but she kept crying and told me about how she didn't think he'd move on that fast and how he doesn't really talk to her anymore. She then showed me a picture of my son with the girl he apparently likes.
  • 04
    Font - My husband was really uncomfortable and my other son also had some friends over so the situation was really weird. And again, what do I say to that? I took her outside and told her that I'm sorry but maybe she should talk to her own mother or friends about this. She got really wide eyed and said "you don't think what he's doing is wrong?" I just sighed and said listen, stuff happens but life goes on. I got over it. You will and should as well.
  • 05
    Font - I thought I did pretty well considering the circumstances but she began to cry even louder. She called me terrible and said she expected me to be more understanding since I've known her as my son's girlfriend for two years. If I can throw her away like this, then it's no wonder my son can as well. She called me a mean person before getting in her car and driving away. I really didn't expect the reaction so I'm a bit surprised. I mean I suppose I could've been more understanding but I didn
  • 06
    Font - 50 DinaFelice 8 hr. ago Craptain [152] She got really wide eyed and said "you don't think what he's doing is wrong?" The correct answer to that question is, "No, of course not. You are no longer a couple, so of course he can date someone new." You gave her an even milder answer, along with the good advice that she should be turning to her own family and friends, rather than her ex- boyfriend's mother. NTA. You have nothing to feel bad about.
  • 07
    Font - C . VoyagerVII 6 hr. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] Honestly, I think the only thing I would say OP did wrong was not to tell the girl in so many words, "No, he isn't doing anything wrong. He isn't in a relationship with you anymore. If he's not in a relationship, he's free to date someone new. There isn't a minimum time limit between the breakup and the next date, so long as the first happens before the second and not after it." That's something she really needs to hear. I'm still voting N
  • 08
    Font - Rascaliest 2 hr. ago I won't lie: I cried to my high school ex's mom the day we broke up, but here's the difference - during the relationship, his parents had become my legal guardians. I had been living with their family for many months. OP was in a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. "No, he's not doing something wrong" is hurtful to ex's feelings. "Yes, he's doing something wrong" is hurtful to her well-being. Moving on "too quickly" does exist, but you're right, it's when
  • 09
    Font - Nero24200 3 hr. ago I feel context for the break up can do a lot there. I've been on the receiving end of a surprise break up out of nowhere and to see them dating right away afterwards brings up worrying thoughts and suspicions. In my experience if a break up is sudden and the person dates someone new quickly it can sometimes be something that started while the couple was stilm together. A lot of people can bring personal experience and bias into relationship discussions so I can see why
  • 10
    Font - OnlyConversatio. 2 hr. ago NTA... why would she go to you for support and not her family or friends?
  • 11
    Font - March4thInto Battle 1 hr. ago Right?! It almost sounded like she expected OP to "do something" about her college son dating someone new-like this girl came to tattle as much as ask for support. The ex asking if OP thought what her son doing was wrong leads me to believe that the reaction she was expecting was for OP to be like, "oh my god how could he DO that to you?! I'll speak to him at once!"
  • 12
    Font - TogarSucks 5 hr. ago Ahole Aficionado [13]] NTA. OP, you also need to let your son know about this interaction. Particularly that she showed you a picture of him and the girl. Since his family hadn't seen that picture it's probably not up on his basic social media and she would have done some level of cyber stalking to find it. Keeping him in the dark could negatively impact both his social life as well as his relationship with you and your husband. You did right, and honestly it sounds l
  • 13
    Font - Mysterious_Park_7937 5 hr. ago They could still follow each other and OP might not follow him. She could've taken a screen shot thinking he'd remove her after moving on. It's still very sad and very weird. It's more worrisome she tried rallying her ex's parents against him and showed up at his family's home unannounced. Was she planning on ambushing him, too? ΝΤΑ 40 Reply Share
  • 14
    Font - bct7 3 hr. ago A hole Enthusiast [5] Ex-Girlfriend needs to be blocked, not managing this well. 12 Reply Share Normal-Height-8577. 2 hr. ago Agreed, she is not managing it well, and she's definitely the asshole here but I'm also worried for her - some of the things she said were ringing alarm bells for me. I hope OP can reach out to some family/someone else she knows the girl has to lean on, and express that she seems to have taken the breakup hard and she's worried about her wellbeing.
  • 15
    Font - rotatingruhnama 1 hr. ago That's what set off alarm bells for me too. I'd be calling Son and asking him what's up and what he needs from me. My hypothesis is that Girlfriend is having a hard time letting go, and blowing up Son's phone while he's at school. Son set a boundary and is reducing contact. Girlfriend is reacting by obsessing over Son's online footprint, and is now trying to rally people to her cause.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article