Freshly Plucked Tweets From the Crazed and Comedic Minds of Twitter (January 10, 2023)

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    Font - amelia elizalde @ameliaelizalde avatar the way of water is about what happens when skaters meet surfers and how if they worked together and learned each others ways they could defeat the us military 10:33 PM 1/6/23 Twitter Web App ... 855K Views 32K Likes
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    Font - caleb hearon @calebsaysthings do u think politicians ever watch attack ads about themselves & go "damn they cooked me with this one ngl" 11:51 PM 1/6/23 Twitter for iPhone . . 889K Views 26.6K Likes ...
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    Font - The Christmas Penguin @who_shot_jgr bar with live jazz called HornPub 7:48 PM1/5/23 from Philadelphia, PA Twitter f Android 246K Views 8,628 Likes
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    Font - Bree Newsome Bass @BreeNewsome HBOMax functions like there's somebody who lives inside the app who has to go into the back to access the archives for you 12:25 AM 1/8/23 Twitter Web App . 621K Views 17.1K Likes
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    Font - BELANOMA WILDLIFE CONSERVATION Oklahoma Department of Wildlife... @OKWildlife Dept Whoever filled out a cougar sighting report and wrote "your mother" under the description drop your @ we just want to talk 10:39 AM 1/9/23 - 292K Views Twitter Web App . 12.1K Likes 1,293 Retweets 136 Quotes
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    Font - Shy @astoldby_shy being a teacher is so embarrassing; i tripped over the bookcase in my classroom so all the expo markers i was carrying in my shirt pocket fell out and one of my students was like "damn. you aight, Sonic?" LMFAOOOO0000 5:19 PM 1/6/23 Twitter for iPhone 1.4M Views 52.4K Likes
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    Font - muna @Muna_Mire I went on a hike with my mother and when she saw a chipmunk eating an acorn she shook her head and said "he's making a big mess" 10:40 PM 1/7/23 Twitter for iPhone 636K Views 21.3K Likes
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    Font - Paul Black @paulblack "I read something the other day" - me referencing a TikTok I watched 7:05 AM 1/8/23 Twitter for iPhone 1.4M Views 50.7K Likes
  • 09
    Font - Simon Holland @simoncholland I get that it's easier to just text me when my table is ready, but when that coaster used to light up red and start to vibrate, man what a thrill. 8:06 PM 1/7/23 Twitter for iPhone 145K Views 2,855 Likes
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    Font - clip studio pain @freezydorito AITA? I always guard the bathroom when my roommate is using it to protect her from dangers (family tradition however she refuses to extend this courtesy to me when i use my bathroom at 3AM even when i scream for her. is she being unreasonable? i'm a cat if this is relevant 6:08 PM 1/6/23 Twitter for iPhone . .. 828K Views 39.4K Likes
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    Font - Dr. Raven the Science Maven @ravenscimaven Coming in this AM from taking the dog out to pee and this couple was standing in the entrance making out. I said "excuse me" and they didn't move. Then I waited a few more seconds and said "can I join?" and they looked at me crazy and moved out of the way I'm low key offended 9:23 AM 1/8/23 792K Views Twitter Web App . ... 22.3K Likes 693 Retweets 27 Quotes
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    Font - The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana Today 4:11 PM Is he a youth medium? No. The tee shirt size . Like a child psychic? No ? 4:27 PM 1/8/23 893K Views Twitter for iPhone 47.2K Likes 2,918 Retweets 119 Quotes Oh
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    Sleeve - Sully Has No Resolve @sullyhasthots There is a vas deferens between the word they used and what they meant Taylor Swift Facts @TSwiftFTC. 1d 4 Years ago today, Taylor Swift looked urethral at the Golden Globe Awards. Stylee . yle 3:57 PM 1/8/23. Twitter for iPhone 62.6K Views 1,147 Likes InSe ... Ir J
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    Product - ****** Chef Andy Lunique @AndyLunique "Harry Potter... the boy who lived... come to dine" 9:21 PM 1/5/23. Twitter for iPhone 1.1M Views 48.3K Likes ...
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    Font - h @ipodmacbook hey do you care if i invite my friend who gets kicked out of every place he goes? i think he's gonna be chill tonight 8:20 PM 1/7/23 Twitter for iPhone . 92.7K Views 3,491 Likes
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    Facial expression - Girl, if he'd rather ask a country to change their long-held laws... Bassey Ikpi @Basseyworld Naija @Naija_PR 3d Saudi Arabia set to bend its marriage law to allow Cristiano Ronaldo to live with his partner, Georgina Rodriguez 00 Saudi Arabia marriage law forbids couples that are not married from living together Show this thread EXIT 12:10 PM 1/6/23 14.1M Views Twitter Web App 206K Likes 20.1K Retweets 1,598 Quotes
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    Arm - Douglas A. Boneparth @dougboneparth One of the best ads ever made. NO pills NO exercise In only ONE Month You Can do it too Register Now!!! Photoshop Courses The best tool to change your body 8:15 AM - 1/8/23. Twitter for iPhone 207K Views 4,050 Likes
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    Communication Device - Hurt CoPain @Saeed DiCaprio this was the funniest interaction I've ever had 7 Is this brad? +1 (973) 5 You are in a realm by yourself, the laughing stock of your village. You are a comedic vessel that has no port or harbor, a joke of a wanderer with no destination. ok my bad iMessage Sun, Feb 20 at 6:07 PM ☐ I think u have the wrong number 8:47 PM 1/7/23 Twitter for iPhone no Delivered ...
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    Font - David Gilbert @DavidGilbert4U Is there a name for the feeling when you all you want out of life is to hunker down and eat pizza and watch movies but you also want to break new ground in your profession but you also want to quit society to live in the woods but you also want to go explore the world forever 6:15 PM 1/6/23 Twitter Web App ... 266K Views 5,754 Likes
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    Font - Michael @Plz_Relax_ they don't talk enough about how Jan 6 was also very funny 8:41 AM 1/6/23. Twitter for iPhone . ... 3.7M Views 37.3K Likes
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    Smile - ANTHE Jeff Pearlman @jeffpearlman Still remains the gold-standard reminder of a comma's importance celebratin EAT. RAY LOVE Rachael Ray finds inspiration in cooking her family and her dog 11:46 AM 1/6/23 Twitter Web App 1.2M Views 30.2K Likes Comp
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    Font - Sri Kosuri @srikosuri I just learned tonight what "Netflix and chill" meant. To all those I've inappropriately used this phrase with, I'm truly sorry, I really thought this meant relax and watch Netflix, which I do a lot. 1:04 AM 1/8/23 from San Francisco, CA Twitter for iPhone . 651K Views 3,962 Likes
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    Sleeve - AUX chavíto @1DOPEKEV 2 yrs ago today, the No-look Pepper Spray Twitter Moments 11:23 AM 1/6/23 Twitter for iPhone . 3.4M Views 64.1K Likes REUTERS
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    Font - alli @sonofalli consulting is so funny because why would you ask a 21 year old for advice 4:31 PM 1/6/23 Twitter Web App . . 2M Views 44.6K Likes
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    Product - Raymonte @BDTRELILBROTHER - 2d Who is a white man y'all find irresistible?????? al Demoria @kornbreadTMFS 100 FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE Replying to @BDTRELILBROTHER This ollllddd muhhhhhfuukkkaaa LG 04727792* 10000.00 G7 TIGE RAMON I of the United State $100 IRALA SE Toly F. Gather Stary of the Tamary 4,778 14.4K 100 FRANKLIN ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS UNITED STATES AME 151K Views 5,727 Likes OFAMERICA THIS NOTE IS LEGAL TENDER FOR ALL DEBTS, PUBLIC AND PRIVATE JULY 4. 1776. ate of Materic 11:13 A
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    Smile - Andrés Pertierra @ASPertierra TET Unexpected updates: the journalist who famously threw his shoe at Bush is swole as hell now sujj|büs ilul @muntazer.... 4/18/19 Exercise time with my trainer (Amedia) KOTIME GYM 5 jiri owe 1153 30, $an ... FITNESS TIME GYM
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    Product - Nikhil Krishnan @nikillinit I've literally never thought about this, but I'm currently leaning as I read it r/AskReddit u/Ermland2 6d 34 What's an obvious sign someone's american? 34.6k SINGLE COMMENT THREAD chonesmcskidds • 6d 1 35.5k 419K Views 4,005 Likes Join 11:15 PM1/5/23. Twitter for iPhone ↑ Share 3 Awards according to the cia- when training to be a spy- you have to unlearn how to lean. Americans tend to lean on things when standing still. VIEW ALL Reply 34.2k
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    Font - pizzarina sbarro @tillamundo Is this a parody please be real with me. I need to know NYC activities I'm 10000% booking again in 2023 Part 2 @jricevuto . An overnight stay in this shipping container in Brooklyn NYC Glamping 1:58 PM 1/8/23 1.1M Views Twitter for iPhone ... 28.2K Likes 638 Retweets 125 Quotes @jricevuto
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    Font - John Bull @garius Look. I've said it before and I'll say it again. If Harry has a problem with his family then he needs to persuade the French to fund him, raise an army, invade and seize the crown. What else was Brexit for, if not to restore traditional British approaches and values? 4:45 AM 1/5/23 TweetDeck . . 1.7M Views 47.5K Likes
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    Font - Sophie Vershbow @svershbow Last night my friend's boyfriend was taking a photo of our group and a gen Z girl walked by, grabbed the phone out of his hand, took the best photo we've ever seen, handed the phone back, and walked away. 10:19 AM 1/8/23 Twitter for iPhone ● . 2.2M Views 55.7K Likes
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    Font - Paige Weldon @paigeweldon FYI you can turn off the "memories" feature on your phone and that will stop your phone from making little slideshows designed to hurt you 7:58 PM 1/7/23 Twitter Web App . 320K Views 7,130 Likes

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