'She won't even contribute $20?!': Stingy woman chooses her memoir over close friend's wedding gift

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    Green - ONEELYDRED DOLLARS ATES en 'Give her the money or expect backlash from your friends.' TWILB 100
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    Font - r/AmItheA . Posted by u/Watch RainFeelFire 16 hours ago AITA For Not Wanting To Help Pay For My Friend's Wedding?
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    Font - I have a close friend from college who's getting married next year, and she's been asking for my help to contribute to her wedding. I think it's sweet that she's thinking of me, but I don't think it's a good idea for me to help out financially. My friend and I have been close for a few years now, and I'm happy for her. She is struggling financially, and they have asked that instead of wedding gifts, people can donate to parts of their wedding ceremony (theres a registry and everything, li
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    Font - I tried to explain my financial situation to my friend, but she's still asking for help, even a little. She suggested that I could contribute a much smaller amount than others, but I still don't think it's a good idea. I told her that if I was in a better financial situation I would be more than happy to help out, but right now it just isn't possible. My friend got really mad at me and said that I was selfish, and that she expected more from me. Our group of friends all pledged to help pa
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    Font - I don't want to lose her friendship, and I really don't want her to tell our friends - my financial situation is private. More importantly, I also don't want to be taken advantage of. AITA for not wanting to help pay for her wedding?
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    Font - ha_look_at_that_nerd 16 hr. ago Parta sipant [1] Not to mention, it's not like OP's friend was just like "oh here, have $500." They all made an agreement. 6.4k Reply Share Continue this thread → De-railled 13 hr. ago Partas ipant [1] ROFL, But the $550 doesn't count because OP's mariage failed/s ... "My marriage failed so i'm not going to honor the agreement I made with all my friends, but I don't want her to tell my friends the truth and for them to realise what a terrible friend I am" T
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    Font - murphy2345678. 15 hr. ago Professor Emeritas [95] YTA. I was going to judge the other way too until she gave me $550. Give her the money or expect backlash from your friends. It will be well deserved backlash.
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    Font - Reyemreden 13 hr. ago. edited 11 hr. ago Is it just me, or does the fact that OPS marriage didn't last a year make me think they should contribute even more?
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    Font - WeOnceWereWorriers 12 hr. ago Why the his OP writing a memoir? They sound like they're barely 30, struggling financially, haven't done anything of note. I guess there must be a massive ego to write about? At least they can include in it the time they made a deal with their friends, took all the benefits from the deal and then refused to uphold their end of the bargain in return. YTA
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    Font - Key_Plastic_3372 14 hr. ago ...maybe you could sell some of the gifts you got for your 6 month marriage on eBay.
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    Font - Snoo90169 13 hr. ago Enthusiast [8] As I think even without the $500 gift- op should be willing to contribute something. It's customary to provide gifts when ppl get married. Sounds like the friend is probably asking for money in lieu of traditional gifts. Seems like OP isn't interested in contributing anything at all. If op doesn't want to give anything because they're cheap- they should just skip the wedding entirely. If they want to maintain this friendship- then they should attend and
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    Font - MichaSound 12 hr. ago Also the friend was like 'even $20 would be fine' - I'd give a friend $20 for something far less important than a wedding.
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    Font - mayfeelthis 13 hr. ago Partsipant [1]] All this YTA OP You're asking us if it's ok to only take and never give in a friendship? Well I can say no, and you're the user in this equation not your friends. In case that's a bit more direct and clearer.
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    Font - OverallSafety791 - 12 hr. ago . Also what is a "recent doctorate candidate (soon)" lol? A soon-to- be doctoral candidate? Someone who hasn't started a PhD program yet? 101 Reply Share Continue this thread → Gray Twilight 12 hr. ago Agreed, yta. The ending was quietly put in there, almost like people weren't supposed to notice. You all agreed, she gave $550 to your wedding. Maybe you should get a job instead of her fiancé getting a second so you can fulfill your end.
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    Rectangle - tinypurplepiggy · 11 hr. ago I'm sure OP's memoir will be so interesting too. I can't wait to read the chapter about how they lost all their friends because they're an AH
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    Font - Soillure 12 hr. ago Agreed. She even said she's be happy with $20, but OP still refused and for what...because his marriage didn't work out?? This whole story is full of excuses... like...I'm confused what writing a memoir has to do with sending a friend money. OP, you probably have to prepare to losr your frienfs or for less contact with them, as yoh as a group agreed to support each other and you're the only one backing out.
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    Font - SuperWomanUSA. 5 hr. ago This is one of the many selfish people that come online that need to reflect. 1. She talks about her financial position then says she's writing a MEMIOR?!? OP sounds very young, inexperienced, unimportant and I really can't imagine what would be in her memoir. 2. Get a JOB OP this is the weirdest post I've ever read. You just got your doctorate and you have NO JOB, NO MONEY, wow... career student I guess
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    Font - 3. You are not even trying to pretend to find a compromise. Hey, here's $20! Hey, I don't have cash but I can help setup and offer some of my time. You are so self centered and a terrible friend. 4. I would not only tell the friend group but I'd make sure I post to Social media so everyone knows what kinda person you are 5. Who cares that your marriage lasted less than a year. You clearly make poor decisions now but your ex- friend still tried to help and contribute. What if her marriage
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    Font - BoudicaThe Artist 11 hr. ago Partaipant [3] But as OPs wedding lasted less than a year, she doesn't think the $550 that her friend contributed to her wedding counts. What screwed up logic is that? OP YTA. Quit the memoir and get a job
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    Font - Drw3956 hr. ago Parta cipant [1] Hoping on top to say; you're hoping to get accepted for a phd and are writing a memoir??? Do you honestly think you're going to have time to do both? And yet you see it more as a you you you. Massive massive YTA
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    Font - Used_Grocery_9048 - 5 hr. ago . She won't even contribute $20?! How was she ever planning on attending this wedding had it just been a regular wedding with a wedding gift. In what scenario would she have paid less than $20? OP - the longevity or, in this case, short duration of your marriage does not affect your friend's $550, that's money she doesn't get back. If you're not willing to spend money on others, why are you happy to then accept money from other people?
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    Font - This is hopefully the wake up call needed for your friend to realise that she should drop you. I think you're too selfish to be a good friend to anyone bud then you're so busy with writing your memoir so should probably focus on that, you're clearly a best friend to yourself.
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    Font - Nericmitch 16 hr. ago. edited 16 hr. ago Part sipant [2] Wait... am I understanding that your friend group all pledge to help with each others weddings and they all helped you but now you are backing out of a pledge you've already taken advantage of. It doesn't matter that you marriage didn't last. You still kept you friend group to their word and they all stepped and honoured that agreement but now that you have gotten what you wanted out of it you can't even find a small amount to keep
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    Font - IDDQD_IDKFA-com- 4 hr. ago. edited 4 hr. ago Parta ipant [1] WTF ...she helped pay for my wedding ($550), that I should help her out, even if it's just $20. So OP is risking losing her "friend" & "friend group" over fecking 20$.... Also My friend and I have been close for a few years now... I'm a recent doctorate candidate (soon), am currently writing a memoir, and I dont know when I will have time to get a job Who spends ALL their time writing a memoir so early in life to the point they
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    Font - Mean_Environment4856 16 hr. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [33] Hang on a sec. She paid $550 for your wedding to help you and you aren't reciprocating like you already agreed? That makes it an easy YTA. Your marriage failing hasn't got anything to do with this. my financial situation is private. More importantly, I also don't want to be taken advantage of. Yet you'll happily take other people's money for your wedding. Don't make stupid pledges you don't intend on following through with.

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