"I snapped, and... shouted at her, 'You sound incredibly desperate'": Woman flips out on student who has an obsession with her boyfriend

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Feb 22, 2023 5:00 PM EST

There's never any shortage of theatrics at in this university drama program — especially after this woman called out the woman who was brazenly flirting with her BF. Using a throwaway account, this OP wondered if she was wrong for flipping out on this woman. As u/abc_throwaway explained, she and her boyfriend both study drama at their university. But their relationship has been plagued by "Victoria," a fellow student who is apparently obsessed with the OP's boyfriend. 

OP claims that Victoria goes out of her way to try and get with the BF in group activities, and even went so far as to take a smaller part in a play just so she can have a stage kiss with the BF. Things finally came to a head at a party where everyone was inebriated, and the OP flipped her lid. Now, she's wondering if she went too far…

Up next, this teacher agreed to not leave their classroom without asking permission, and cued up their finest methods of malicious compliance. 

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  • 01
    Font - r/AmItheA hole Posted by u/abc_throwaway7 S AITA for telling the girl who kissed my boyfriend for a play that she is desperate and pathetic? Not the A-hole
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 02
    Font - I (19f) study drama at uni, and my boyfriend is on the same course. My boyfriend is a really good-looking guy, but he doesn't seem to know it. He gets a lot of attention from girls and for the most part, doesn't seem to get that they're flirting with him. I'm not generally annoyed by this, and never really say anything.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 03
    Font - However, there's one girl in our class, let's call her Victoria, who is obsessed with my boyfriend. She goes out of her way to be paired with him in group activities (for example, if the professor picks groups by numbering us 1, 2, 3, she will move herself to be in the same number as him) and she recently stepped down from a main role in a play we're doing so she could be in a more minor one, simply because this character has a romance with my boyfriend. I know this is the case, because I
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 04
    Font - I've never said anything to her about it, because she seems pretty insecure (always complaining about how she thinks she's ugly) and I don't see it as a big deal because my boyfriend doesn't care. However, we recently performed the play and had a small afterparty where she got slightly drunk and was bragging about how she 'definitely felt something' when they kissed in the play and she's 'going to ask him if he felt the same'. I rolled my eyes and again ignored it, until she actually went
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 05
    Font - Victoria started saying that she knows he must have felt a spark, he's a really good kisser, etc. I snapped, and sort of shouted at her that 'you sound incredibly desperate, going after somebody else's boyfriend. You're pathetic if you think a stage kiss means you should be together.'
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 06
    Font - She looked super embarrassed and walked away, and I later heard she'd gone home crying. I feel like a dk because she's obviously insecure and whatnot, and her friends haven't stopped calling me a bi since. AITA?
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 07
    Font - Edit: She 100% knows that I am his girlfriend, I have heard her talking about me being his girlfriend before.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 08
    Rectangle - proteins911 Colo-rectal Surgeon [32] S2 NTA. She took it WAY too far. Approaching him about it was out of line.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 09
    Plant - ▸ [deleted] Approaching him about it in front of OP
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 10
    Font - super_common_name Parta ipant [3] The hilarious part of all this is that OP swooped in *right* as her bf was being given the chance to say, "No, I don't feel that way." Actually, no matter what he said, problem would've solved itself.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 11
    Font - [deleted] NTA. She's been trying to get at your boyfriend for a while, and you maturely didn't engage, because it was clear that she didn't have a chance. She literally came up to him, when you were right next to him, and tried to have a conversation about "feelings". That's ridiculous, and you were trying be nice at first, but I don't think you had to be, after that happened. Thinking that a stage kiss meant something with someone else's boyfriend is pathetic. Seemed like she wasn't goin
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 12
    Font - eyyyyyAmy467. Dropping in to add that her friends are cp for letting her drunk as go up to him at the party like that. Definitely not looking out for their trashed homegirl. They've no right to say anything after they let her embarrass herself.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 13
    Font - maaack3nzi3 Bingo! Some people literally just need to be told they're acting pathetic. They literally have 0 insight and think their behavior is justified or socially appropriate. It shouldn't be OP's job to break this to her - the other girl's friends are horrible people to let her embarrass herself that way.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 14
    Font - but maybe the other girl literally just did not know she was behaving pathetically and needed to be told that. maybe not by OP, but the message was going to come in one way or another at some point in her life. when my best friend wrote her ex a love letter begging for him back and showed it to me before she sent it, I laughed in her face and told her it sounded like a pining teenager from some stupid romance novel. She was mad at first, but we laugh about it now. She literally had no ide
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 15
    Font - el_deedee Agree. I just hope the fact that the bf didn't put his foot down himself means he hasn't been leading her on intentionally or unintentionally.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 16
    Human body - asimpleanachronism Homewreckers deserve to he wrecked. OP did a good job.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 17
    Font - Maaanwhocares A hole Aficionado [10] NTA, she was delusional and you bought her back down to earth. Needed to happen, you tried to ignore it but she kept pushing.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 18
    Font - Korashy For real. That chick was not only disrespecting OP's relationship, she was disrespecting OP by trying to get with her boyfriend right in front of her.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 19
    Font - Voidg Supreme Court Just-a [113] NTA. I will assume she was aware you two were dating. Therefore to approach your boyfriend and try to begin a relationship with him right in front of you is very disrespectful. She clearly does not care that you are in a relationship and instead wants what she wants and does not care who she hurts. Sure you were a bit harsh. However it was the truth.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 20
    Font - ErrantJune. 3 S3 Professor Emerita [74] ESH. You're teenage drama students, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that there's so much teenage drama here, but come on. You couldn't think of a more appropriate way to address this woman's relentless and obvious daily pursuit of your boyfriend over the course of weeks (if not months) than shouting at her at a party in order to humiliate her? You couldn't, I don't know, at any time just say, "Hey, I don't know if you realize but [boyfriend] and
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 21
    Font - the_og_cakesniffer 92 S Partas pant [1] Or like, letting the boyfriend handle the girl by himself. I'm pretty sure he's capable of saying "no I'm not interested" all by himself.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 22
    Font - abc_throwaway7 OP She knows we are, I didn't feel the need to go and say it because I've heard her before saying that she wishes we would break up.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 23
    Font - UkeBard Parta: ipant [2] While it's true that she could have addressed it earlier, I feel like OP was seriously trying to take the high road and ignore it. If she had told this girl off earlier, there would have been a similar reaction, except it wouldn't be as justified. She kind of needed to have an explosive reaction or else she would have continued to be walked on.
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 24
    Font - or Iamrobot29 You sir do not understand how theater works. These things are taken very seriously (especially now). I don't do theater but in the opera world we face similar challenges. We are asked to do very intimate things publically all the time and in order for an actor to feel comfortable doing that the work space has to be respected. Could you imagine a scenario where you had to kiss someone pretty frequently and you had to explain to your SO that it is ok? It makes it much easier f
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 25
    Font - frogfight Also the whole "she's insecure and not even attractive" bit. Like really? Is everyone 12? 42+ Share ... [deleted] You get the Jesus award for the day. So you're telling me that if someone came up to your significant other to start a relationship with them, knowing da well you are already with them you don't have a right to get mad? Ok lol
    via r/AmItheA**hole
  • 26
    Font - kiwifuzz11 NTA you let your emotion get the best of you which can happen to any of us especially on the topic of a SO, she would have kept making moves until she got what she wanted you did the right thing, sometimes it takes being a little extra for people to get the message
    via r/AmItheA**hole

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boyfriend homewrecker university students KISS girlfriend theater Stage play college nta
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