‘I can marry you ONLY IF you give me absolute control over our child’s education' : Girlfriend Proposes to Boyfriend, Only for Him to Blindside Her and Give an Unreasonable Prerequisite

Advertisement
  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/ThrowRA_control_sci 16 hours ago My(27F) bf(28M) gave me a prerequisite when I proposed him.
  • 02
    Font - I've been together with my bf for the past 5 years and he is a sweetheart. We moved in together after 2 years and things have been great I love him a lot and I know he loves me too. I work in a law firm and my bf is a physicist and works in one of the best institutions in the country for his field. So he recently got tenure and I'm doing good in my field too. We live in an apartment we bought together.
  • 03
    Font - Recently I've been thinking about marriage and didn't just know when the right time was so day before yesterday I just popped the question, he was just so happy and obviously agreed. Mind you this was done in our home in a private setting.
  • 04
    Font - When the initial excitement started to wear off I could see he was visibly distressed and right before the bed he asked me will you want to have kids with me when we get married?" I said yes. To which he replied "Then i ||
  • 05
    Font - can marry you only if you agree to give me absolute control over our child's academics. We can share all the rest of the stuff and I even agree in advance if you would like reserve something solely you two but i can't compromise on this. " I was
  • 06
    Font - absolutely gutted as I didn't know what to say. It was so out of character for him. I said that I think that both of us should be involved in every aspect of our child's life he just said no. I tried asking if something happened but he just left for the couch. I took the day off as I'm not in the right state of mind rn. This
  • 07
    Font - morning he entered the room, I was awake but pretended to be asleep. He just kissed my forehead and when he left I could hear him sobbing. I know something has happened and most probably it isn't even related to us. I tried contacting him but he hasn't returned any of my messages. I asked him if
  • 08
    Font - he would like to have lunch about an hour ago and he just replied no again. I don't know how to proceed or what to make of my relationship anymore.
  • 09
    Font - slinky999 14 hr. ago I tried asking if something happened but he just left for the couch. I took the day off as I'm not in the right state of mind rn. This morning he entered the room, I was awake but pretended to be asleep. He just kissed my forehead and when he left I could hear him sobbing. This sounds like a trauma response to me. Did something bad happen to him at school as a child ?
  • 10
    Font - NoHandBananaNo 11 hr. ago Yeah it sounds like trauma. · And I agree he shouldn't be having kids with, or even marrying, OP until he has processed it to the point where he would trust her to be part of keeping the kids safe. It would be very unhealthy for him to go into this with the mindset of him+child against OP+the world.
  • 11
    Font - Maleficent-Mark3014 1 hr. ago Typical armchair psychology. There's a whole lot of assumptions here. The guy didn't say anything about "jailing" his kid. He just said he wanted to be in charge of his education. That's picking schools etc.
  • 12
    Font - thenord3219 hr. ago He may have been a gifted kid if he's a top level physicist. He could have been pushed very hard or abused as a kid. Maybe start the conversation off with what his vision for the kids education would be, that way you know what you're agreeing to. Use that as a conversation starter.
  • 13
    Font - Hot-Dress-3369 · 5 hr. ago Whatever his reasons, she should not agree to it. Not being allowed any say in a material part of the raising of her children is not okay. For her or the future kids.
  • 14
    Font - passunderpassover 13 hr. ago I'm shocked this is the only comment mentioning this. The way he phrased/approached this sounds desperate, not manipulative. The sobbing and shutting down SCREAM trauma.
  • 15
    Font - Playful_Site_2714. 12 hr. ago He may want to send them to especially protected private schools. To me this sounds like either very severe bullying issues/ worse that he encountered.
  • 16
    Font - Rent-a-guru 10 hr. ago He could want to home school too. Or require a strict religious education of some kind. Either way this isn't a decision that should be taken unilaterally by one parent.
  • 17
    Font - ArtemisLotus 11 hr. ago If he can't talk about this with you and make this make sense, he's not going to be a good father. Parenting is about communication and he's showing you that he will not communicate when it comes to child rearing. Red flag. This seems very controlling as well. And what is his vision for the child's academics is too much for said child and they come to you for help. What will you do then? Please don't agree to this. He needs to make it make sense ASAP

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article