''[The garter] is a final temptation for the bride to test her loyalty': Wedding traditions that give brides the ick

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
May 19, 2023 4:00 PM EDT

Welcome to 2023, where women are over the whole idea of being objects passed from one male to another. Back in the day fathers "gave" their daughters, along with a dowry, to a worthy man. The thought of that is now repulsive. Women are human beings and when they get married it is because they love that person and want to declare that eternal love. Not that they are the next shiny toy this man is about to own. 

One woman asked what wedding traditions gave you the ick on Reddit and the comment section became flooded with brides, wedding parties, and wedding guests saying some seriously cringe things they had to do at weddings. The first tradition is the garter belt one. If you haven't heard of that one, it is when the bride is wearing a garter and one of the men in the bridal party has to remove it from her leg with their teeth. It's cringe and the reason—"to give one last temptation to the bride"—is disgusting. Let's 86 it please?

It isn't just the garter belt tradition couples are tossing from their wedding—see what else below! 

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  • 01
    Plant - r/AskWomen Posted by u/starskyandbutch 7 hours ago { What, if any, wedding tradition irks you the most?
    via u/pexels-Sự-Minh

    Reddit post by u/starskyandbutch

  • 02
    Font - FiveSixSleven. 7 hr. ago I found out in some wedding traditions, the groom removes the garter from the bride with his teeth in front of everyone, and that sounds intensely uncomfortable to me.
    via u/FiveSixSleven
  • 03
    Font - kickasskoala89 6 hr. ago This is a tradition I'm glad to see is dying off. Every wedding I went to as a kid did this, but it doesn't seem to be popular among my generation, thankfully. I haven't seen it in maybe 10 years now.
    via u/kickasskoala89
  • 04
    Font - shmick023 4 hr. ago It's messed up that society is so often so weirded out by sex and sexuality (especially re women) and yet it can be considered "normal" for this to happen at a wedding, in front of family and children Vote Reply Share kickasskoala89 4 hr. ago We're a society of weird double standards sometimes. haha
    via u/Schmick023
  • 05
    Font - ShortMonth9031.4 hr. ago Wedding photog here, my first garter toss of the entire year is this Thursday. Also the bouquet toss is down like 80%+
    via u/ShortMonth9031
  • 06
    Font - Jarl Korr 1 hr. ago I went to a wedding of an early 20s couple a couple years ago and it was a part of their wedding Also during the father-daughter dance the father and daughter kissed each other on the mouth So glad I didn't marry into that family as I was dating the bride's sister at the time
    via u/Jarl_Korr
  • 07
    Font - Granny_knows_best · 6 hr. ago I hated this, and was made to feel bad for not wanting to hike my dress up to allow it to happen.
    via u/granny_knows_best
  • 08
    Font - judithpoint 5 hr. ago There's more- they did it at my cousins wedding cough tacky cough After the garter is removed, the groom throws it to the men (like women and the bouquet). Whoever catches the bouquet gets the garter put on them by whoever catches the garter. My plus size cousin caught the bouquet not knowing and it was so upsetting watching a bunch of men "playfully" run away from the garter so they wouldn't have to put it on her. Awful.
    via u/judithpoint
  • 09
    Font - 48 Jane Doe1997. 5 hr. ago This for me too. The other half of this tradition is that whoever catches the bouquet gets the garter put on them by the catcher of that toss. My husband and I skipped it. I caught the bouquet at my brother's wedding when I was 17, wound up having a 40- ish male put the garter on me when he caught it. Made me super uncomfortable and I did not want to subject any kids or female guests at my wedding to that.
    via u/JaneDoe1997
  • 10
    Font - redjessa 6 hr. ago This is the first thing that came to my mind. It's so cringey. I skipped the garter and the bouquet toss at my wedding. We didn't do a traditional money dance either. The thought of having people line up to give us money was off-putting to me. We did a traditional Armenian dance where people sometimes throw money at the bride and groom but only my family members recognized it. And that was only because my mother included the song, I didn't know until it started playing.
    via u/redjessa
  • 11
    Font - CerseiClinton - 5 hr. ago I HATE this one!!! I did not want this when I got married. I absolutely refused and said it was degrading to me and wouldn't do it. I didn't buy a garter. But day of SOMEHOW my "friend" had one to give to me. And SOMEHOW my soon to be husband was pressuring me that I'd hurt my friends feelings to say no to it, so now I just have to go through with it. He wanted the garter belt thing to happen and gave the garter to my friend to give to me. He didn't care it humil
    via u/CerseiClinton
  • 12
    Font - herbharlot 5 hr. ago You'll be disgusted to know that the original tradition was for a groomsman to remove it with his teeth as a final temptation for the bride to test her loyalty.
    via u/herbharlot
  • 13
    Font - keket87 7 hr. ago Any references to the groom being "tied down" or the bride being the old "ball and chain". Like fuk why do we keep acting like married couples hate each other?
    via u/Keket87
  • 14
    Font - Odd Yogurt_8786 - 4 hr. ago This. If it's so bad, don't marry me. I don't want someone marrying me out of obligation. I'd rather be the woman the groom is elated to be marrying.
    via u/Odd_Yogurt_8786
  • 15
    Font - texxed 4 hr. ago i find it incredibly gross especially considering systemically, men benefit more than women by getting married
    via u/texxed
  • 16
    Font - Mangobunny98. 3 hr. ago It's the wedding toppers for me. Like that's what you put on top? If it's that bad just put nothing on top.
    via u/Mangobunny98
  • 17
    Font - sadsledgemain 7 hr. ago edited 3 hr. ago Ot Bachelorette/bachelor parties in cultures where they're more or less expected to revolve around or at least include sexual and/or humiliating activities. Plus points if the goal is to get the bride/groom piss drunk too. In my world, those events are a way to celebrate a friend and their marriage, not something that should embarrass them or have any hints of the absolute gross "last night of freedom" idea, no matter how jokingly. It's extremely w
    via u/sadsledgemain
  • 18
    Font - Writer_Girl045 hr. ago Exactly! Not only that, but "last night of freedom" or "last night single" is stupid... it's acting as though they haven't been in committed relationships for however many years prior to getting engaged
    via u/WriterGirl04
  • 19
    Font - folklovermore_. 5 hr. ago. edited 4 hr. ago Ugh this. I specifically told my best friend I didn't want anything suggestively shaped at my hen do, or any strippers or dodgy games or stupid fancy dress costumes (or a sash/tiara for that matter, but that's a whole different thing). I know it makes me sound like a bridezilla but I honestly just find that stuff really gross and tacky.
    via u/folklovermore_
  • 20
    Font - Sad Marketing_Girl. 6 hr. ago Well, not to be a party pooper but I hate the messy 'hen nights' and 'stag dos' we have in the UK. We've managed to traumatise (well, heavily piss off) most of Europe with these kinda do's going on in places like Amsterdam, Malaga, Budapest, Benidorm to list a few. It's embarrassing to be English nowadays, and them day drinking wrecks have a bit to do with it. I went to college in York and it's hen and stag do central there because of the pubs and horse racin
    via u/sad_marketing_girl
  • 21
    Font - Sea-Stress1309 6 hr. ago Smashing cake in the faces. What a tacky thing to do.
    via u/Sea-Stress1309
  • 22
    Font - unfortunateclown. 5 hr. ago i hate this too! lately i've been seeing more couples just putting a little bit of icing on each others nose, and it's such a cute alternative! no humiliation, no ruining expensive makeup or wedding dresses, no risk of injury from cake toppers or support dowels, just a sweet, silly shared moment that still involves the cake.
    via u/unfortunateclown
  • 23
    Font - Jeanetica 6 hr. ago People being so into their wedding aesthetic and photos that they ask their guests to change their appearance. Like asking your friend with colorful hair to dye it natural or someone with tattoos to make sure and cover them up.
    via u/jeanetica
  • 24
    Font - lieutenantblackhat 6 hr. ago I'm half South-Asian, so we have this "tradition" where the bride is expected to be sad and quiet/shy during the ceremony. The elders typically look down on brides who are happy, dancing, etc. It's such bs and needs to be abolished. Also, there's an expectation to invite and cater to people that you don't even know. Friends of friends that are supposed "family". You're also expected to invite family members even if you don't like them.
    via u/lieutenantblackhat
  • 25
    Font - The show of force, as I like to call it, is another thing that irks me. The weddings that I have attended have always been big, flashy events. Gotta have the best cars, big venues, tons of people, flashy designer stuff, etc. I'm not a fan of it. To me, it just looks like you're spending thousands to impress people that you don't even know or like, lol. It'll all be a distant memory to them once it's over and something new pops up.
    via u/lieutenantblackhat
  • 26
    Font - unholydelight 2 hr. ago We have the first one in Turkish culture too, during henna night. It's this party/get together most of the time only for women, but that changes depending on the region. The whole concept is the poor girl getting separated from her mummy and with all the sad songs. The bride is expected to be sad and (hopefully) crying.
    via u/unholydelight
  • 27
    Font - SnowyLittleDeer · 6 hr. ago Brides family pays for the wedding. There are 2 people in the relationship, so why? If you have parents paying for it, it should be a shared cost. Realistically, I think the bride and groom should pay for their own wedding. Either way, the cost shouldn't fall on a single party.
    via u/snowylittledeer
  • 28
    Font - Glumpenstein. 6 hr. ago This stems from the tradition of the bride being owned by their father first and having to give a dowry to the new groom as a "please marry my daughter look at this money and assets that come with her." I agree. I hate it too.
    via u/Glumpenstein
  • 29
    Font - Upset-Possibility519. 6 hr. ago Vows along the lines of "wives, submit yourself to your husbands" Vote Reply Share pumpkinface11. 6 hr. ago Love, honour and "obey"
    via u/Upset-Possibility519
  • 30
    Font - cherrybomb_777 · 6 hr. ago The separation of men and women in wedding parties. I'm from a very traditionally Catholic family and am very close to my youngester brother. The spot of best man always goes to someone in your family that you are closest to (something my mom and dad told my older brothers who each chose each other) but when it came down to my younger brother and I my mom actually laughed at the idea of me being my brother's best maid.
    via u/cherrybomb_777
  • 31
    Dress - diatomic 6 hr. ago Changing last name in general.
    via u/diatomic
  • 32
    Font - U LibraryOfFoxes · 6 hr. ago "I now pronounce you Man and Wife!" Was he not a man before? Is she just a wife now? If people started saying "I now pronounce you Woman and and Husband!" people might think that sounds weird, but it is exactly the same and just as odd.
    via u/LibraryOfFoxes
  • 33
    Rectangle - msstark 7 hr. ago Ot The bride being "given away" by her father, like she was his possession and now she's the groom's.
    via u/msstark

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cringe-wedding-traditions wedding-parties wedding-advice marriage wedding planning wedding-donts Crazy Brides ask women the-ick bridal parties Reddit weddings wedding-traditions
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