'Do you have grass-fed salmon?': 30+ Ridiculously dumb questions waiters get asked by their customers

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jun 7, 2023 3:00 PM EDT

There are two types of people: those who check the menu before they get to the restaurant, and those who show up having no idea what they're going to order. Either way is fine — some people prefer to know exactly what dish they're going to get, while others like to hear the daily specials and decide on the spot. But people also show up to restaurants with lots of questions about their food…and some questions are way funnier than others. 

We took a peek into the life of a waiter or waitress with this hilarious post from r/ServerLife. U/phatmatt593 asked for servers of the world to share their funniest encounters with people who aren't accustomed to dining out, and asked some funny questions about their food. The answers range from the hilarious to head-scratching. Check out the whole thread below. 

Next, this woman insisted that her whole family join together for her daughter's recital… too bad that also meant bringing her screaming newborn along. 

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  • 01
    Font - 'One guy seriously asked for pasta bolognese "without any bologna please"
    via piotr szulawski on Unsplash
  • 02
    Font - Yr/Serverlife . Posted by u/phatmatt593 What are some of the funniest questions you've been asked by a guest who probably doesn't go out a lot? So tonight, I got a really good one and almost broke character. All nice people and I would never say anything bad about people from these stories, but I do enjoy a good laugh. This guy at a 4 top is discussing appetizers with everyone says to me "I see you only have oysters on the 1/2 shell, do you offer full shell oysters?" I apologize, we don't
    via u/phatmatt593
  • 03
    Font - One of my favorites was a man ordered a grapefruit juice and when I dropped it off he goes "uuhhhh why isn't this purple?" He was totally perplexed and fairly annoyed. I had to explain to a 30 something yr old guy this new fruit to him because he never heard of it before and it thought it was a typo on the menu. Another one, this guy ordering a steak and trying to sound sophisticated "hm hmm, exactly how pink is you're medium here?" The same as everywhere else my friend, it's a universal
    via u/phatmatt593
  • 04
    Font - it's a sandwich." He goes "ok, I'll get it then." (Also, the type of bread and all ingredients are listed). I have a bunch more too, but I want to hear yours. It sounds like fun.
    via u/
  • 05
    Font - RedBurgandy01 Honestly, I prefer it when inexperienced guests ask me their stupid questions, especially when it comes to steak and other big ticket items. I hate dealing with recooks. I'd much rather address the ignorance up front. Better than having a perfectly cooked steak sent back for being burnt because somebody doesn't understand how wood- fired grills work. (Happens way too often.)
    via u/RedBurgandy01
  • 06
    Human body - SmAsianCraisin "What part of a cow does pork belly come from?"
    via u/SmAsianCraisin
  • 07
    Font - Formal_Coyote_5004. We used to have a pretentious a come in and we would play rock paper scissors to NOT take him. He was such a pompous piece of but he very S confidently mispronounced Sriracha all the time and it was hilarious
    via u/Formal_Coyote_5004
  • 08
    Font - ceebs26 Lately, I've had several different customers ask me for a pen to sign... as soon as I drop the bill. I have to kindly remind them that I have to take payment before there is anything for them to sign. Makes me laugh every time. Welcome to a restaurant, bud.
    via u/ceebs26
  • 09
    Font - Soakmyspongewithinfo. Had to explain to a customer that we could not fry her whole chicken wings for only 2 mins like she requested bc we would be serving her raw, not fully cooked chicken.
    via u/Soakmyspongewithinfo
  • 10
    Smile - gamble666 Someone asked me, "is the pork chop beef or pork?" I laughed because I thought they were joking. They were not.
    via u/gamble666
  • 11
    Font - Working_Mushroom_456 I used to work at an Italian restaurant, one guy seriously asked for pasta bolognese "without any bologna please" I explained that bolognese meant meat sauce and that ours had pork and veal for about two minutes before finally saying "I'm sure we can make an exception, I'll talk to the chef"
    via u/Working_Mushroom_456
  • 12
    Font - stupidfaster_ Table ordered a margherita pizza, it arrives at the table. "Excuse me sir, we didn't order this. Are you sure this is the margherita? Why is it cheese?"
    via u/stupidfaster_
  • 13
    Font - theliberalpedestrian I once ordered a margherita flatbread at Panera and the teenage cashier turned WHITE and said "...uhhhh miss i don't think we can serve those here." Gave me and me coworker a good chuckle!
    via u/theliberalpedestrian
  • 14
    Font - Affectionate_Elk_272. "how do i pay?" card or cash is fine. "but where?" ...right here on this tablet "so i take it to the host to pay?" godd n it
    via u/Affectionate_Elk_272
  • 15
    Font - shanook28 Reminds me of frequent conversations I had at Smokey Bones: "How many wings can I get?" "We have 8 or 16 wings." "I'll take 12 wings." "...We have 8 or 16 wings." "I can't get 12 wings?" "...We have 8 or 16 wings."
    via u/shanook28
  • 16
    Font - UFOtinfoilhat420 I got "does this chicken salad wrap have chicken or beef?" I went to the walk in and died laughing after.
    via u/UFOtinfoilhat420
  • 17
    Font - bogas11 A party of 27 guests with a smaller menu, the speaker guest of honour asked me if I could start serving dinner before i took everyone's order.
    via u/bogas11
  • 18
    Font - Rminora Guest: "I have some questions about the menu" Me: "Alright, hopefully I've got some answers for ya!" Guest: "What is.... bruschetta?" Me: (We don't serve bruschetta or anything similar on the menu) "Uh, sorry I'm a bit confused, can you point it out to me on the menu please?" Guest: points at the word "prosciutto" Me:
    via u/Rminora
  • 19
    Font - RealRefrigerator6438. Used to work at an Italian place. The most classic was "Can I get Angel hair with fettuccine sauce on it?" And then I'd have to explain to people the fettuccine is a pasta and the sauce they're probably looking for is Alfredo. This was an overwhelming amount of people, lol.
    via u/RealRefrigerator6438
  • 20
    Font - deevarino What kind of dressing would you like? We have Thousand Island, French, Italian, and Ranch. I'll have French Italian
    via u/deevarino
  • 21
    Font - Not a server sorry, my story is the opposite and my family loves to reminisce over the absurdity. We're at a restaurant and the trainee server takes our drink order. My sons each ask for cream soda (which is on the menu). When she brings the drinks we see they both are brown like Coke or Dr. Pepper but we don't want to make the new girl feel bad so we just go with it. Then the boys
    via r/Serverlife
  • 22
    Font - taste the drinks and say they taste funny, not bad but funky enough that we need to get to the bottom of it. We ask the trainer-server what the trainee poured for the boys. He goes to ask then comes back laughing with real cream sodas. The trainee had never heard of cream soda so she poured half and half in coke and called it cream soda.
    via r/Serverlife
  • 23
    Font - hollowspryte I asked someone how they wanted their steak and they said "what is medium rare?" I thought I was on Jeopardy for a second. But no... they pulled medium rare from their own vocabulary and then asked me what... it was.
    via u/hollowspryte
  • 24
    Font - moniqueheartslaugh. I work at a Mexican restaurant and someone once ordered just cheese burrito. I told them it wouldn't work because there's no bulk to keep the form of the burrito and offered a quesadilla to which they replied they "hate quesadillas." Both a "cheese burrito" and "cheese quesadilla" are literally only tortilla and cheese. I am being refueled with rage. Also, so many old white people who visited Mexico once telling me our fajita torta is "NOT A TORTA" which is so wild bec
    via u/moniqueheartslaugh
  • 25
    Font - Nwolfe I delivered a bowl of meatballs. The lady asked what they were. It took a lot to not say, "these are the beef spheres you asked for"
    via u/Nwolfe
  • 26
    Font - Interesting-Kiwi-109 We've had tons of people come up to the window of our food truck, look at the menu that is large and visibly posted, and ask what we have. Or ask if that's our menu. I mean, whose else could possibly be? I've come to the conclusion that there are a lot of functionally illiterate people in the US.
    via u/Interesting-Kiwi-109
  • 27
    Font - brandnewjunk When they walk in from the parking lot and ask, "How is the weather on the patio?"
    via u/brandnewjunk
  • 28
    Automotive lighting - JO EmpadaDeAtum. Someone today assumed the sirloin was chicken.
    via u/EmpadaDeAtum
  • 29
    Font - NickLoss_ I once had a lady at a two top ask me what the numbers were next to the food... I told her well that's the price of the food just like every food selling business had and her husband laughed lots and was jokingly poking fun the rest of the evening. I thought that meant I would be doomed to be stiffed but they tipped decent and were a good table
    via u/NickLoss_
  • 30
    Font - Crazzn8r Had a customer ask me once, "what is the fried egg?" I had to think for so long do answer in a way other than, "we fry... an egg..."
    via u/Crazzn8r
  • 31
    Human body - bltkunst Do you have grass-fed salmon?
    via u/bltkunst
  • 32
    Font - Climate-Remarkable · Recently, a man on a business lunch was eating the entire edamame pods and commenting on how chewy they were. His companion did not touch his own edamame, I assume he didn't want to embarrass the man, who was exerting obvious effort to chew his beans. This doesn't fit the prompt, but I feel like a question, in this instance, probably should have been asked.
    via u/Climate-Remarkable
  • 33
    Font - Sweaty_Ad3169 I have had the grapefruit thing happen to me too!! I thought they were joking at first. I've had to explain how tax's work. I had a guy ask me what a straw was and how to use it. One time a guy order a filet extra well done. When I asked him if it was okay to butterfly the filet he responded with, "you want to put butterflies on my steak?" One time I had a couple that received a gift card.
    via u/Sweaty_Ad3169
  • 34
    Font - They told me they lived in the mountains and this is the first time ever going out to eat. They asked what a ham burger was. They were confused why it didn't have ham in it. I worked at TR before they had New York strips on the menu. A man asked if we had them. I told him no but the T-bone is a filet and new York strip. He said, "why are you trying to sell me two steaks and bones." Then told my manger I was trying to sell him bones. I didn't bother trying to explain any further.
    via u/Sweaty_Ad3169
  • 35
    Font - Rev_TheLadyJesus. "Who ordered the GRA- TAT-OUILLE?!" It was the gratuity.
    via u/Rev_TheLadyJesus
  • 36
    Font - Princesszelda24 We have soups and salads as side offerings, but I've started to offer them as, "Would you like salad or soup with that?" due to the amount of people that wanted to know what a "super salad" consisted of. e
    via u/Princesszelda24
  • 37
    Font - Phreequencee Is the chicken vegan? I need mozz because I'm lactose-intolerant. I've NEVER heard of onions in marinara! Did you take a bite out of this cookie? Why would you kill an innocent pig? Just get meat from the grocery store!
    via u/Phreequencee

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drinks waiter customers restaurant dumb questions food stupid questions waitress questions dining
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