People Share The Dumbest Baby Names They've Ever Heard

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jun 17, 2023 7:00 PM EDT

Many people think that stupid baby names result from modern hubris. Foolish young parents give kids names that they won't grow into and will be the reason for their career failures later in life. However, we've always had slightly silly baby names. My dad was born in the sixties, and his middle name is literally Ransom. There were women in the 1800s named Prudence. I'm sorry, but random adjectives and nouns as names have aged far worse than the "Everleighs" of today ever will. 

While some names are timeless (you really can't go wrong with Beth and George), and other names are products of their times (Hello Britney, Ashley, and Heather), some names do not belong anywhere. If you have one of these names, you will be shunned by society from your first days on this earth, and it won't get any better from there. Redditors shared the baby names of such wretched souls, and you can't help but feel sorry for them. 

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  • 01
    Human body - r/AskReddit u/Corollo_Bro_91 - 20h What is the dumbest name you've ever heard someone give their child?
    via u/Corollo_Bro_91
  • 02
    Font - halfwayhipster2 . 16h Sh'miracle ... Reply 1.9k
    via u/halfwayhipster2
  • 03
    Organism - Altruistic-Cut9795. 16h Dracula. The parents were young meth heads and thankfully the nurses said Drake sounds much better and it's a short version of Dracula after the boy was born. Drake is alive and well, now 18 years old, parents quit the meth years ago, kinda still a messed up family. ... Reply 1.5k
    via u/Altruistic-Cut9795
  • 04
    Font - 00 Ko_DaBomb 16h I do contract based IT work. Implementation when hospitals buy each other out, stuff like that. Last week I was working with an office manager named MORONICA ... Reply 3.3k
    via u/Ko_DaBomb
  • 05
    Human body - LadyGraceOf ThePits. 14h Kerosene. And she would always add "like the gas". Mom was young and goth Reply 1.6k
    via u/LadyGraceOfThePits
  • 06
    Handwriting - akgt94. 15h Wife worked in a bank. Had a regular customer named Dextrose. Always wondered if he had siblings Sucrose and Fructose. Reply 2.4k
    via u/akgt94
  • 07
    Font - PhilHardings Hot Pants • 17h Orange. It's not a translation or a nickname, but after the fruit itself. People keep thinking his name is George and he's just too young to pronounce it correctly but nope, his parents got their inspiration from the produce department. Reply 656
    via u/PhilHardingsHotPants
  • 08
    Font - Traditional Money968 • 20h There was a woman who used to cut my hair named Secretia....like secretion. Reply 2.4k
    via u/Traditional_Money968
  • 09
    Font - archeranne. 15h Scotthew. I worked in labor and delivery. We had a pair of stoners who couldn't decide between Scott or Matthew, so they just merged the two. Honestly, it's just one of many dumb ones I encountered. ... Reply 1.3k
    via u/archeranne
  • 10
    Font - cinemascifi. 15h S 1 Award When my child was born, the people in the room next to us named their kid Pikachu. You read that right. Pikachu. After the Pokemon. ... Reply 1.2k
    via u/cinemascifi
  • 11
    Rectangle - LordBaranof. 19h I knew a pair of twin boys in elementary school named Freedom and Friendship. Reply 1.7k 1.7k
    via u/LordBaranof
  • 12
    Rectangle - rahyveshachr. 16h My aunt went to school with twins Candy and Cookie ... 534
    via u/rahyveshachr
  • 13
    Font - hyrulian_princess. 16h There was a tv show a couple years ago and the midwife was desperately trying to convince the about to be parents to not name their child Syphilis ... Reply 517
    via u/hyrulian_princess
  • 14
    Font - MysteriousApple135 18h Reality Winner ● Reply 1.4k 1.4k
    via u/MysteriousApple135
  • 15
    Font - partymouthmike • 19h I once met a woman who named her sons Doral and Viceroy. I asked her, "like the cigarettes?" She said, "yes, those were my daddy's favorite smokes." ... Reply 2k 2k
    via u/partymouthmike
  • 16
    Font - mjn73178 15h ● In my career working at Public Schools I've had two separate children named Tequila Mockingbird. Absolutely unrelated, across the state from each other, but it's weird that it happened twice. Reply 1.4k
    via u/mjn73178
  • 17
    Font - pepperdice 16h ● Girl I was in HS with named Sparkle. kid in my daughters kindergarten class was named Legend. Reply 1.4k
    via u/pepperdice
  • 18
    Rectangle - FartAttack911. 16h Felonie. I've been downvoted a lot on Reddit for sharing this because people never believe it's a real name someone would give a kid. But it is lol Reply 790
    via u/FartAttack911

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ask reddit Babies baby baby names crazy things parents say askreddit parenting reddit thread parent Reddit Parenting Fail parents Parenting FAILS
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