42 Infuriating Eternal Punishments People Would Deliver If They Ruled Heck

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mattstaff
May 31, 2017 11:00 AM EDT

The devilish creativity here is something else!

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  • 01
    Text - Every time you put on fresh socks, you immediately step in a small puddle
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  • 02
    Text - Spend eternity trying to put on a fitted sheet on a bed and when you get that last corner on another corner slides off.
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  • 03
    Text - That mild itch you get in your inner-ear that you can never scratch
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  • 04
    Text - From now on every video you watch the audio will always be slightly out of sync.
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  • 05
    Text - The 'e' key on your keyboard has to be hit extra hard to type, and it usually types an extra 'e' or two.
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  • 06
    Text - You can go to the bathroom whenever you like, but the person before you always peed on the seat, which is always cold and the toilet paper is only the single ply stuff you get in public bathrooms
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  • 07
    Text - You're constantly aware that you have to breathe
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  • 08
    Text - There's always a smoke alarm that needs a new battery.
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  • 09
    Text - We change the WiFi password every 6 hours
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  • 10
    Text - The only meal is a bowl of the stringy things from bananas
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  • 11
    Text - Whenever you watch tv, there is always a radio playing in the background just loud enough to make it hard to hear the tv
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  • 12
    Text - You are assigned the role of IT support in random nursing home and all the occupants have like 6 different devices that they can never get to work the way they want. Example: Gen 1 IPOD, windows tablet, Galaxy S4 phone, 6 year old custom built alienware desktop with quad monitors, and a new LCD smart TV with an old windows media server connected, so like 5 remotes a VCR, and a Roku
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  • 13
    Text - For people who make a disgusting mess in public restrooms. In Hell, you must swim in a lake of human waste where you can almost, but not quite, touch bottom. In Heck, its only a puddle, but you're wearing cotton socks.
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  • 14
    Text - Spend eternity putting together puzzles, but every puzzle is missing just one piece.
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  • 15
    Text - A waiting room, ostensibly for heaven, in which the only reading materials are Highlights magazines and brochures for things you cannot buy
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  • 16
    Text - I'm currently living this one. The neighbors share a wall with have 2 fans running. I can hear the motors, and they both have a slight defect, and they're not synced up. It's all barely audible, so if I forget about it the sound goes away. But if it sit still, and catch the tone for a split second, it's all I can hear.
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  • 17
    Text - Your favorite TV show is playing and you have the most comfortable chair and Dolby surround and a 120" 8k TV. When you out of seasons, more appear. And the whole time you watch, a 2 year old is sitting on the arm of the chair going DAD! DAD! DAD! DAD!
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  • 18
    Text - Every time you brush your teeth you have to drink a glass of orange juice immediately afterward
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  • 19
    Text - Mosquitoes buzzing by your ear constantly.
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  • 20
    Text - A lone hiccup every 2-3 hours. Just enough not ruin eternity, but enough to make you worry that a larger bout will follow
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  • 21
    Text - Your shoe will always have the teeny tiniest piece of gravel in it that you cannot remove
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  • 22
    Text - food's taste has nothing to do with that it actually is like a piece of chicken will taste like carrots. Also, this is constantly changing. So you will never know what you are going to 'eat'
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  • 23
    Text - Your shirt always feels like that of one you wore during a haircut last week!
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  • 24
    Text - One ear is perpetually popped. You have a cold that pops your ear back every time you sneeze. There is no way to get equal pressure between both ears
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  • 25
    Text - "We serve Pepsi, is that ok?" Is heard at every restaurant.
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  • 26
    Text - Taste buds in your asshole.
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  • 27
    Text - Every day at exactly 3pm I would announce the chocolate chip cookies are ready. Only when the trays full of cookies came out would everybody learn the awful truth Those aren't chocolate chip cookies at all They are oatmeal raisin
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  • 28
    Text - We only play the clean/radio edit of well- known songs. You know, the one where the replacement phrases throw off the metre and sound laughably childish! Get ready to party
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  • 29
    Text - 20 hangnails. All the damn time.
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  • 30
    Text - You can listen to any song you want, but it's the Kids Bop version
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  • 31
    Text - Every time you put on fresh socks, you immediately step in a small puddle
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  • 32
    Text - Spend the rest of your existence trying to charge a phone with a charger that needs to be held just right.
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  • 33
    Text - You walk everywhere by taking 3 steps forward and 2 steps back.
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  • 34
    Text - | Anything you want. But it has a 60 day delivery period.
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  • 35
    Text - Every time you turn a corner or go through a doorway, you walk face first into a spider web.
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  • 36
    Text - You can't skip the ads before a video.
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  • 37
    Text - Victims would live a somewhat normal life in Heck, but all text is written in Wwingdings font.
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  • 38
    Text - Every 20 seconds someone would rip one of your headphones out.
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  • 39
    Text - There will always be a booger you cannot pick. It's barely obstructing anything but its a big one
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  • 40
    Text - You must spend eternity bowling against a balding, overweight man named Carl, who is barely better than you and is ever so slightly condescending
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  • 41
    Text - All the coffee is decaf and you have to drive for hours on end listening to nothing but sleep inducing music. It's always raining and it's perpetually night. Traffic is slow Verrrrryyyyy slow.
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  • 42
    Text - You will always feel like you do right after shower...when you dry off but you're not completely dry yet, but your not really wet either. Just that moist in between uncomfortable zone. And your shirt is always on backwards and the tag tickles your neck in a bad way.
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  • 43
    Text - You get the feeling you need to sneeze often, but it never happens.
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