'[I] put my Bluetooth headphones in the freezer to charge': 40+ Awkward moments from people who were totally oblivious to their surroundings

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Nov 15, 2023 3:00 PM EST

On those groggy mornings where you're on autopilot, mishaps are bound to happen. We've all done it: when you're half-awake, you tend to do things like forget to bring your laptop to work, or maybe you start driving to your mom's house instead of the office, or even searching desperately for your phone while holding it. That's especially funny if someone witnesses you using your phone flashlight to look between the couch cushions for the phone in your hand. 

One of the more embarrassing things I've done on autopilot is attempt to pay for a sandwich from a bodega not with a credit card, but with my MTA train card. The guy just stared at the bright yellow card for a second until it dawned on me that I couldn't pay for a turkey sandwich with train fare. Sadly, I've done this more than once! But as long as I don't do it to the same cashier twice, I think my shame is probably long forgotten. 

The people of r/askreddit answered the question, "What's something weird/funny/embarrassing you've done on Auto Pilot?" Their answers were very relatable! You can check out all the answers below, and then read this story about an manager who couldn't figure out if her employee rage-quit her job, or if she fired her. 

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  • 01
    What's something weird/funny/embarrassing you've done on Auto Pilot? 'Stood in front of my work locker, pulled out my car key L fob, and kept pushing "unlock"
    via Swansway Motor Group on Unsplash
  • 02
    What's something weird/funny/embarrassing you've done on Auto Pilot?
    via u/ItsaHelen
  • 03
    Ren_13 I was getting out of my car and went to take a sip of my iced coffee. Unfortunately I put the end of my car key in my mouth instead.
    via u/Ren_13
  • 04
    Polar_Ted Started to trim my beard and didn't see the guard was off.. Huge swath of beard gone in one swipe. The kids still refer to me during the beardless months as "Creepy Daddy" and I am not allowed to shave it off again.
    via u/Polar_Ted
  • 05
    MEG4NTRON. The pipe underneath my sink was broken so I put a bucket below it to catch the water leaking out. When it was full I poured it back in the sink...and proceeded to flood my kitchen.
    via u/MEG4NTRON
  • 06
    [deleted] Was in college working full-time nights as a security guard and full time class. Stopped at a red light, pushed my garage door opener and drove through. Luckily there were no cars around.
    via u/deleted
  • 07
    Tink_650. I'm an ex-bus driver and many times on my way home from work, I would go to pull into a bus stop, in my car...
    via u/Tink_650
  • 08
    LadyGruntfuttock Started unbuttoning and unzipping my trousers while I walked towards the toilet, just like I do at home because I'm efficient like that. Except I was at work and was walking through the shared office
    via u/LadyGruntfuttock
  • 09
    axladrian Put my bluetooth headphones in the freezer to charge. Wanted to go to work with the car, but forgot to turn the engine on. I stood there for 10 minutes trying to figure it out. A neighbour even came to help me and didn't see the problem.
    via u/axladrian
  • 10
    ChaoticRift My dog's favorite part of the day is dinner time. I pull out her food, she starts wagging and doing the tippy-taps, get a scoop of food, and instead of going to her bowl I dump the full scoop into the trash can. She then just looked at me with the saddest eyes and I felt terrible, so she got a little bit extra food and some pets.
    via u/ChaoticRift
  • 11
    Etchisketchistan I used to work at the airport, and got used to yelling the word 'Next please!' a lot. One week, I was working really long shifts, and was pretty tired. I decided to stop at McDonalds on my way home from work and went through the drive through. When I stopped to tell them my order, I yelled 'NEXT PLEASE!' into the speaker.
    via u/Etchisketchistan
  • 12
    [deleted] Woke up. Automatically got out of bed, got dressed, brushed my teeth, packed up my backpack, headed out of my dorm, happened to glance at the clock in the lounge. It was 1:30 am.
    via u/deleted
  • 13
    PineappleArts I once tried to zoom in on a paper when I wanted to fix a tiny detail in my drawing. I was very tired mind you, but that was still sort of funny to me because I did it like four to five times before realizing "wait this isn't my phone".
    via u/PineappleArts
  • 14
    SavageJeph Go to check the mail, grab the keys, oh yeah! there is garbage/recycling that needs to go out, I stop at mailbox, I get mail, throw away the garbage, throw away the mail, throw away my keys... Neighbor asks if I am going to need those, I just kind of stop, look around a bit and say "Well, yeah, probably"
    via u/SavageJeph
  • 15
    shhhushnow I used to work on a farm & we always took our boots off before entering the homestead for meal breaks. One afternoon I absent- mindedly unbuttoned my jeans and started to take them off instead of my boots. I guess my brain decided I was done for the day!
    via u/shhhushnow
  • 16
    iamambience Saying goodbye to my aunt at her husbands funeral, and accidentally said "yeah it was fun", when she said thanks for coming.
    via u/iamambience
  • 17
    Nobody_Likes_Shy_Guy. Put my phone under a faucet to fill up my water bottle. I recognized my mistake. And then I did it again
    via u/Nobody_Likes_Shy_Guy
  • 18
    Portarossa. I was feeling an encroaching sickness coming upon me one time, so I decided to be proactive and make myself a couple of days' worth of the most baller chicken soup I could manage in advance, so I'd be able to eat well even when I was dying of the lurgy. I chopped the carrots, I sorted the onions, I stewed the chicken bones, and I cooked that motherf down for eight hours into the most delicious stock you could imagine. Then I poured it all through a colander into the sink.
    via u/Portarossa
  • 19
    Tinywampa put my cat in the kitchen drawer ឋ 1.2k ↓ Share prof_the_doom That's a pretty peaceful cat.
    via u/Tinywampa
  • 20
    ▸ [deleted] I stepped on a cheeto and apologized to it.
    via u/deleted
  • 21
    daiye99 One morning I was sick and stayed home from work. My wife was being really awesome and served me breakfast. Trying to show her how thankful I was I said "Thanks Mom." We both just stared at each other for a second then burst out laughing.
    via u/daiye99
  • 22
    Twokindsofpeople "have a good day sir." "Love you too." Awkward shuffle out of Panera. 27.5k ItsaHelen OP The horror! Share ... First time I met my exes sister, she went "Hi, I'm [sister], how's you?" And I said "thanks"
    via u/Twokindsofpeople
  • 23
    LosingLungs Always running to catch the subway after waiting at the crosswalk in front of the station. Casually walking with my friend in the same area yesterday. Started running when the cross sign lit up. He was like 18.2k Share exclamation11 Pavlov's commute
    via u/LosingLungs
  • 24
    SunOnTheInside Reposting my own comment from a few years ago in a similar thread, because I still think this is my best response to this question. Came into work to work front of house after several extended nights of profound insomnia. I was holding up ok until a gal walks up with a dog in her arms. I always chat people up about their dogs because A. Dogs are awesome and B. people love to talk about their dogs, and often tip a little more when they feel like they've actually connected with you.
    via u/SunOnTheInside
  • 25
    Today though... I didn't have two neurons to rub together to break from the script of "hey what can I get you... here's your total... do you want a receipt?" and so I lean over the counter like a drunk, lock my sleep- starved, unfocused googly eyes on this poor lady, and blurt out-
    via u/SunOnTheInside
  • 26
    "your dog. Who is he" and then expectantly stare at her like that was a normal and not at all insane thing that I just kinda vomited at her. She kinda stared at me and clutched her dog a little closer and I think I probably went a little cross-eyed and tried to salvage the conversation by talking more. I don't remember what I said but it was definitely not an improvement on the situation. It may not have even been a coherent sentence.
    via u/SunOnTheInside
  • 27
    Fef_ I made dinner. It was some exotic chicken and rice. Wanted a drink, poured orange juice in my chicken and rice. Tasted great though.
    via u/Fef_
  • 28
    DeepBreathing4Me I was sitting in math class one day, and I was just humming to myself while the teacher explained something at the board. She went to turn off the projector, which is next to my desk. Then, still standing next to me, she gives me this weird look and asks, "is something wrong?" I had been so deep in thought that I had lost the tune but kept humming, so I was now just humming a long, low "hmmmmmmmmm" without any change in pitch. So yeah. That was embarrassing.
    via u/DeepBreathing4Me
  • 29
    superpie5 I work with preschoolers and we sing songs to help them wash their hands, and I started singing the same song when I went out with some friends to a bar. Edit: Thanks for the silver, friend! Edit 2: The song goes "Wash, wash, wash your hands, wash them everyday. Scrub, scrub, scrub the germs and wash them down the drain," to the tune of Row Your Boat.
    via u/superpie5
  • 30
    SJExit4 I had recently been attending a lot of marital arts classes at night. One morning at work I accidentally bowed at my boss when I entered his office. This was in the US, neither of us are of Asian descent, and yes he noticed. It was awkward.
    via u/SJExit4
  • 31
    ShadowWitcher We used to stay in a dormitory with double- deck bunks. We once saw our classmate rise up in the middle of the night, stand on his bed (upper bunk) and take the light bulb from the ceiling. Then he just put it right beside his pillow and immediately fell asleep.
    via u/ShadowWitcher
  • 32
    BananaVanillaLatte. I tried putting the milk bottle back in the microwave then got mad when it didn't fit. I only stopped trying cause my brother was there watching and he start laughing.
    via u/BananaVanillaLatte
  • 33
    whyamiwastingmytime1. I used to work in a factory, starting at 6am, so I'd have to get out of bed around 5:15 each morning. There was one morning when I got up, had my breakfast and left as usual, drove round the corner to the garage where I would buy my lunch. It seemed a lot quieter than usual, but being half asleep myself, it only half registered. Then I got back in my car and noticed the time... I was awake 3 hours early. FML. I went home and back to bed for a couple of hours
    via u/whyamiwastingmytime1
  • 34
    [deleted] I drove home from Phoenix to Prescott, forgetting the fact that I had moved to Flagstaff about a month prior. Got all the way to my old driveway before realizing my error. (Both Prescott and Flagstaff are north of Phoenix, but are about 1.75 hours apart from each other).
    via u/deleted
  • 35
    parentaccount1143 I've worked as a caregiver for adults with mental and physical disabilities for more than a decade now. I'm a caregiver. I do basic cares, which include helping many adult men do their daily activities, things like: shaving, buttoning shirts, making sure belts are on correctly, so on and so forth. Once on a date, I was a bit buzzed. I fixed my date's shirt, and told him he needed to look in the mirror and see if he wanted a shave.
    via u/parentaccount1143
  • 36
    CatHerder237 On the railroad, you can get verbal permission to pass a red signal or flag, either from the dispatcher or the employee who placed the red flag. You cannot under any circumstances pass a BLUE light or flag, because that protects employees working on/under/between rolling stock beyond the blue signal. Driving home in the car late one night, I decided to take a shortcut through the local university. I go around a corner and see a blue light marking a police call station. Immediate con
    via u/CatHerder237
  • 37
    optcynsejo Washed an apple at the sink. Dried it with a paper towel. Turned and tossed the apple in the trash and stood there holding the towel like an idiot.
    via u/optcynsejo
  • 38
    Squeakies Sometimes in the shower I fill my mouth up with water and just kind of let it pour out. Was brushing my teeth standing in the bathroom one day, fully dressed before work. I just let the toothpaste pour slowly out of my mouth and onto my clothes as if I were in the shower... now every time I brush my teeth my boyfriend warns me not to spit all over myself.
    via u/Squeakies
  • 39
    Catsrecliner1 My wife says she once ate pizza at a friend's house and, out of habit, threw the crust on the floor for the dog. Those friends didn't have a dog.
    via u/Catsrecliner1
  • 40
    niapattenlooks I have 2 kids and am in the habit of pointing out things I think they'll like (rainbows, the moon, nice dogs...). One day in work I turned to a young male childless colleague and said "Oh look over there, a cat!!" I got a weird look
    via u/niapattenlooks
  • 41
    TocThe Elder Go to the cinema to watch Quantum of Solace. Walk in five minutes late. Furious car chase on screen. Instinctively try to find my seatbelt.
    via u/TocThe Elder
  • 42
    productiveslacker73. Stood in front of my work locker, pulled out my car key fob, and kept pushing "unlock"
    via u/productiveslacker73
  • 43
    RollerKirby Derby I placed my cellphone in the fridge and left the milk out after making myself some cereal.
    via u/RollerKirby Derby
  • 44
    [deleted] I was looking all over for my keys and finally thought that I might have left them in the car. I went outside and my car was locked. So I pulled my keys out of my pocket, unlocked the door, opened the door and realized how much of an idiot I am.
    via u/deleted

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