‘I'm not the mother of your children’: Older Sister of Two Expects Younger Sister to Postpone Nursing School to Take Care of Her Children, Leading to Family Dispute

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    r/AITAH 16 hr. ago Best-Question-7940 Aita for telling my sister I'm not the mother of her children
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    I'm an 18-year-old female, and I have an older sister, 29, who has two children, ages 8 and 4. Most of my childhood was spent taking care of her children while she went out to parties and such. Now that I'm going off to do a course in practical nursing to boost my resume for university, she's asking me to put my future on hold and look after her
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    children so she can enjoy herself before I leave for university. The thing is, my mom warned me when I was young not to babysit or look after her children because of her attitude. I didn't listen. She also said this might be my sister being jealous because she used to go to nursing school but made friend with the wrong group in
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    the end she didn't pass her final exam, so she dropped out of school. So, everything came to a head yesterday because applications for the course started yesterday, when I was talking to our mom about it. my sister heard that I applied, she got upset and started shouting about how
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    selfish I am and how this is the only thing she's ever asked me to do - like I didn't spend my whole childhood from age 11 to now looking after and taking care of her children. I told her to stop being childish and that it isn't my fault she had children, and I'm not their mother. The children call me "mom" they did for about two years, even when corrected,
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    they still call me "mom". Apparently, I should have said. this sooner. She started yelling at our mom, saying I'm her favorite because if I wasn't, she would tell me to put my future aside and help her with her children. Our mom told her point-blank that she would never tell any of us to put our future on hold. She said
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    put our future on hold. She said she gave us all the same opportunity, and it's not anyone's fault she didn't use hers wisely. Now she has children, and I'm going to take my life more seriously. She needs to take responsibility for her children because no one told her to have them, and she can't look after them.
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    She started crying and left. Then my mom started yelling at me, saying she warned me from the very beginning, and I didn't listen. She said I need to stop being a pushover because I lost my whole childhood when I was supposed to be outside playing with friends, going out, and just being a kid. I was babysitting like I gave birth. She said it's my fault my
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    sister became so entitled because when she made plans for me to go out, I would cancel to watch the children. She's not wrong; I would always feel sorry for my sister because she knew how to manipulate me just because I don't like to see people suffer or be sad.
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    Sorry for the long post; I just want to know if I'm the for not putting my future on hold.
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    E... • • 16h ago Edited 5h ago NTA. Your sister has been making you pay for her decision to be a parent so that she can go out and party.
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    DO NOT give up your future plans for your sister. Her kids are not your responsibility. Better yet, refuse to watch them unless she pays you.
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    . HarlotteHoehans... • 16h ago NTA. Under no circumstances should you put your future on hold to be a nanny.
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    Beard Man Michael • 15h ago NTA-stop providing her free child care. She needs to pay you or to find alternative child care resources.
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    Alternatively, you can ignore the advice above if ANY of that puts a stop to plans for your future. You are allowed to put yourself first and let your sister manage her own family.
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    F... 13h ago Edited 13h ago I think your mom sucks quite a bit, too. You were 11, and she didn't put her foot down when your 20 year old sister was manipulating you to the extent that you lost. your childhood?
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    And now Mom blames you for being taken advantage of by an adult when you were 11? Dude, your family failed you miserably.
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    Edit: Ironic how she blames your sister for being an inattentive mom when she herself was clearly the same.
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    • O.. 14h ago • Edited 14h ago NTA... Also your mom is dead wrong. This isn't even you enabling your sister. You were 11. You were a child. If you were 16 or 17 yes you could have said no yourself.
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    At 11, your mom shouldn't have been letting you babysit anymore than an hour or two a week. Even then it's questionable. However stopping that was your mom's responsibility. If she couldn't control your sister she sure should have been in control of you and who interacts with you.
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    Your sister has abused you through parentification and your mom enabled all of it. They are both failures in regards to how they treated you. Complete and utter failures.

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