I Can Has Cheezburger? Newsletter

9 Hilarious Accessories Your Dog Doesn't Really Need

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    Does your dog feel like he's missing something? According to this company website, Neuticles—that's right, fake dog testicles—"allow your pet to retain his natural look and self-esteem, and aids in the trauma associated with altering." OMG!

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    Bowlingual Voice Translator

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    apanese toymaker Tomy has released a translating gadget that can turn barks into words—allegedly. And what about an English version?

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    Dog Butt Covers

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    Rear Gear specializes in canine butt covers. (Its charming tagline is "No more Mr. Brown Eye.") They come in various designs, including cupcakes, disco balls, biohazard symbols, and even custom versions, like a company logo or cute family photo. Just hang this bad boy on your pet's tail, and you can totally pretend that it's not a living, pooping animal—for a few hours anyway. 

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    Hot Doll

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    Are you constantly having to pry your promiscuous pooch off the legs of anyone within a few mile radius of your home? Protect your legs (and your dignity) from hump attacks by getting your pooch a Hotdoll. This sex doll for dogs is shaped like another dog and allows your randy pet to go to town as much as his little heart desires while giving your pillows a much-needed rest.

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  • 5

    Canine Cologne

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    Machino is made for the canine "man of the house" and, according to its creators, creates a "feeling of relaxed sophistication and understated luxury" in your pet. Nice try. 

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    Snow Boots

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    In 2012, researchers in Japan studied the legs and paws of dogs and discovered that a "wonderful network" of veins helped quickly circulate blood from the pad through the legs to warm it back up before sending it into the body, keeping the overall temperature of the dog steady. So, while boots may not be a necessity, they sure still look cute on the dog attempting to walk in them!

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  • 7

    Nail polish

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    If you are going to go there and wish to paint your pup's nails, make sure to get polish designed for specifically for dogs; nail polish for humans is quite toxic.

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    One company has created a new gizmo in an effort to get rid of the ickiest part of pup parenting. Piqapoo is a cushioned clip you place near your dog's tail, which has a small bag attached to the bottom. The invention claims that when your dog does his or her business, the attached bag will catch the poop for you. All you have to do is remove the used bag and toss it.

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    Leg Warmers

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    Yes, they can be cute, but does a dog really need leg warmers? Some believe so, as they are ideal for keeping tiny snowballs from accumulating on your dog's legs during the harsh winter. 


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