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Amazon Reviews That Gave Way To Insane Amounts of Twisted Creativity

I don't often leave a review on Amazon, but when I do it'll be one sentence maximum. These people, however, have perfected the art of leaving hilarious Amazon reviews for the benefit of all us bored consumers. There's nothing quite like a surprise joke, and these are unexpected, perfect and creative. I don't know if these reviews were spontaneous or thought of before, but I can't get enough of them. 

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  • 1
    amazon review about cat tablets BROWN SEAWEED 90 capsules 500mg kad oni *Amazing, 27 Nov. 2015 By Alex This review is from: MODIFILAN Pure Brown Seaweed Extract 500mg 90 Capsules (Personal Care) Amazing I give this to my cat and it cure him of the autism Also, since eating this product with meal 3 x day no more house ghosts XTRACT
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  • 2
    amazon review about cable Great cable, but too fast., June 23, 2008 By Matt Sidor This review is from: Denon AKDL1 Dedicated Link Cable (Discontinued by Manufacturer) (Electronics) Transmission of music data at rates faster than the speed of light seemed convenient, until I realized I was hearing the music before I actually wanted to play it. Apparently Denon forgot how accustomed most of us are to unidirectional time and the general laws of physics.
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  • 3
    amazon review about windows 95 Introducing Microsoft Windows95 PC only For distribution with a new PC only For product support, contact the manufacturer of your PC Upgraded to Windows 95 from Windows 8, March 20, 2014 By Brenden This review is from: Microsoft Windows 95 (CD-ROM) I upgraded to Windows 95 from Windows 8. Before in Windows 8 I had to go to the ginormous start screen to launch a program on the desktop, but now in Windows 95, there is a start menu that makes launching progra
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  • 4
    review about ufo detector UFO Detector Internal magnetometer interfaced with microcontroller for 24 hour/7 days a week monitoring for magnetic anomalies that have been reported with many UFO sightings (Electronics) I don't know if this is a scam or if mine was broken, but it doesn't work and I am still getting abducted by UFO's on a regular basis.
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  • 5
    amazon review tent funny Copper Meditation Pyramid System for Healing Polished Copper Connectors with 4 Inch Capstone (Health and Beauty) This tent was missing its stakes, tarp, and fly cover. I had to cover it in vines and leaves for my camping trip, and I got soaked overnight when it rained. Coincidentally, my hepatitis is gone now.
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    funny amazon review about male chastity device This review is from: Hony Male Chastity Device Metal Wire Cage (40MM, 45MM and 50MM) (2) (Health and Beauty) My son is going through be starting puberty in the next year so. Since his father left me and I am now raising him on my own, I bought one of these for him to wear when he is not being supervised. It is well made I made sure he is unable to take it off with out removing the lock. I know it is a great product becaus
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  • 7
    amazon review about book English Grammar For Dummies (Paperback) When i first come to America, my english did cause me problems. In Soviet Russia i was strong teacher,
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  • 8
    amazon review about veet Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Cream 200 ml (Personal Care) Makes my farts sound louder. The hair must have acted as a interlocking silencer.. I give this the big thumbs up. 5/5 Veet FOR MEN GEL CREMA DEPILATORIO PIELES NORMALES RAPIDO Y EFICAZ PARA USO CORPORAL
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  • 9
    amazon review about penguin mask I wear this mask to sing lullabies to my children ..., 24 May 2015 By Sir Chubs Verified Purchase (What is this?) This review is from: Overhead Rubber Penguin Mask Happy Feet Animal Fancy Dress (Toy) I wear this mask to sing lullabies to my children. They are terrified of the mask. Whenever they protest about their bed time, or ask for too many sweets, I whip on the mask, and they soon know who is the King Penguin.
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  • 10
    amazon review about haribo gummi bears HARIBO Just don't. Unless it's a gift for someone you hate., October 3, 2012 By Christine E. Torok Verified Purchase (What's this?) Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN! First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So go
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  • 11
    amazon review about kindle waterproof case The e hoping it'd be crap, her kindle would slip out and electrocute her, 3 July 2015 By Ben Harrison Verified Purchase (What is this?) This review is from: WMA Blue Amazon Kindle Waterproof Case Cover Protective Bag Pouch Got this for the Mother in-law for bath time, hoping it'd be crap, her kindle would slip out and electrocute her. So far, this bloody thing is staying in one piece. Great for waterproof kindling, crap for murder.
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  • 12
    hilarious amazon review about banana slicer What can I say about the 571B Banana Slicer that hasn't already been said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone.... this is one of the greatest inventions of all time. My husband and I would argue constantly over who had to cut the day's banana slices. It's one of those chores NO ONE wants to do! You know, the old "I spent the entire day rearing OUR children, maybe YOU can pitch in a little and cut these bananas?" and of course, "You thi
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  • 13
    review about swiss army knife Changed my life, May 27, 2014 By Kristi This review is from: Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant (Tools & Home Improvement) Received this knife as a gift for my 18th birthday. Wish I'd have known what it was because as soon as I touched it, I grew a mustache and became a Navy Seal. Mom fainted and my dad laughed and handed me a beer. I was born a girl Minus 2 stars because my breasts were really nice.
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  • 14
    amazon review about glitter So I wake up in the middle of the night in my 2 bedroom apartment. I find me roommate passed out face down on the wooden floor. I think nothing of it an
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  • 15
    review about THE WOLF OF WALL STREET There are no wolves in the movie - 6 May 2016 By Shiva P. This review is from: The Wolf of Wall Street (Blu-ray) There were no wolves in the movie
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  • 16
    review about kids book DO NOT buy this book, you can SEE the ending right on the cover!, April 19, 2012 Вy РaсМan This review is from: Where Is Baby's Belly Button? A Lift-the-Flap Book (Board book) This book is completely misleading. The entire plot revolves around finding Baby's belly button; the title makes this much clear from the beginning. However, there is no mystery. There is no twist. Baby's belly button is right where it's suppose to be, on Baby's
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  • 17
    amazon review about URANIUM ORE ACTIVITY: 984 CPM Great Product, Poor Packaging, May 14, 2009 By Patrick J. McGovern This review is from: Uranium Ore I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.
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  • 18
    amazon review about mouse Mouse - Works Great!, Nexus Silent Wired Mouse SM-8500 (Personal Computers) My girlfriend and I were on the verge of breaking up because I would keep her awake at night with my constant mouse clicking. NOT ANYMORE! Consider this relationship saved This mouse is so silent she will sometimes forget I'm even home and invite her lover over. He's a pretty cool guy.
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  • 19
    hilarious feminist review of womens pens Beautifully smooth extraordinaite Draceur Glide BiC Ball Pens/Stylas bille Med/May LOmm Great product!, 3 Sept. 2012 By A keen skier This review is from: Bic For Her Medium Ballpoint Pen Black, Box of 12 (Office Product) My husband has never allowed me to write, as he doesn't want me touching mens pens. However when I saw this product, I decided to buy it (using my pocket money) and so far it has be
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  • 20
    amazon review about ps4 game Congratulations EA. You earned one star. Additional stars., November 18, 2015 By Amazon Customer Verified Purchase (What's this?) This review is from: Star Wars: Battlefront Deluxe Edition PlayStation 4 (Video Game) Congratulations EA. You earned one star. Additional stars can be purchased for $5.49 each
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