38 Times Scottish Twitter Left Us Thoroughly Entertained

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mattstaff
Feb 4, 2018 7:00 PM EST
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  • 01
    Text - Kyle @kylechristie0 Failed ma driving test today cos a picked up too many minors, no ma fault they needed a lift hame from school
    via Twitter
  • 02
    Text - Connor Coll @connorcoll16 Driving instructor says u just back fae Tenerife n a went naw just the sun beds, n he went naw cos ur on the wrang side ae the road
    via Twitter
  • 03
    Text - scottyJ @scotty j Ma dads actual raging at me because a came in steamin last night and used all the family ham to feed the cats in the street
    via Twitter
  • 04
    Text - Noam Dar @NoamDar DO shout out to all ma teachers that didne discourage ma dreams cause they just nodded along tryna get through another day dealing wae daftys
    via Twitter
  • 05
    Text - duln @dylan_bell3 haha ma maw thought it was her pal at the door there and it was the Chinese so she shouted come in n this wee chinese guy walked in
    via Twitter
  • 06
    Text - clodagh Why I love Troon X 7:39 pm 17%D 02-UK QSearch Alison Donald Troon...the small town with the big heart 1 hr-Kilmarnock m Pet hate moan! - to whoever put the banner saying "Happy 50th Tricia" on the fence opposite Deveron Road lights, it's been there a week now! Surely Tricia doesn't need a constant reminder! The rest of us don't HAPPY either! Whoever put it there, time to remove it! STOP Like $50% Comment MOANING Yasmin Dunscombe and 20 others TRICIA ALISON Tina Sinclair Maybe they
    via Twitter
  • 07
    Text - Liám @LiamN96 Burds that go on n on bout being psychos' psychos murder waines and feel nae remorse no go in a mood cos their bf liked a burds photie
    via Twitter
  • 08
    Text - montyyyy @montyyy_x Nov 1 Sleeping naked is all well and good until yer maw whips the covers off ye in the morning to wake u up and yer sitting wae yer dobber oot t226 1.2K
    via Twitter
  • 09
    Text - Connor Magill @ronnoclligam Yer faithers just went intae the polling station and tried tae vote for rangers 2:25 pm 07 May 15 from Ayr, Scotland 749 RETWEETS 849 LIKES
    via Twitter
  • 10
    Food - Kyle Muir @KylelSMuir Nov 19 @cannyswim a breakfast munchie box ahaha when will it end
    via Twitter
  • 11
    Text - Paula Ramsay @plouise16 In McDonald's and the girl shouted to the back 'need a spicy legend' and a wee guy shouted back 'I'm right here doll 18/12/2016, 13:50
    via Twitter
  • 12
    Text - Calum Paton @calum paton lassie ID'd me at tesco and said "is this you or your twin brother" if he was ma twin he'd be the same age as me ya badger
    via Twitter
  • 13
    Text - holly stevenson @Hollystevee How much of a brass neck is it when u get a taxi yourself n they send you a big bitchin 7 seater home in Optimus primes maw genuinely goin 10:05 pm 25 Sep 15 178 RETWEETS 384 LIKES
    via Twitter
  • 14
    Product - Grant Paton Andy lost his ID at a gig. Some burd found it and refused to give him it back unless he brought her a thank you balloon
    via Twitter
  • 15
    Text - Larry Wee guy on this bus lets an old guy take his seat because it's busy Old guy disnae say cheers Wee guy shouts: Aye yer welcome bunnet heid
    via Twitter
  • 16
    Text - Just ate a packet eh M&S ham and ma maws fuming "that was the bloody good ham" whit were you gonna dae with it like hing it on the walls
    via Twitter
  • 17
    Product - Sean Carrigg @seancarrigg1 Maw's always sayin 'your gonny turn into a chicken goujon' see if she's laughin when she pulls back ma cover's tae find this 08/10/2016, 17:28 5,350 RETWEETS 12.3K LIKES
    via Twitter
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 9055461120
    via Twitter
  • 19
    Cheezburger Image 9055461376
    via Twitter
  • 20
    Text - Kieran @Goudie15 What dae "dance students" actually get upty on a daily basis? Like is there a textbook wae a chapter dedicated 10 Mar tae the Mambo No.5? t3,886 6,425
    via Twitter
  • 21
    Cheezburger Image 9055462144
    via Twitter
  • 22
    Cheezburger Image 9055462400
    via Twitter
  • 23
    Text - JONO @JonathanOHaara Got a couple of English uni pals that don't understand our patter and it's class Fraser Stewart Actual taps aff the day 11:52 Morgan Orr My tap is aff 11:55 Georgia Chilton Why haven't you got water? 12:18 31/05/2016, 12:28 pm 2,780 RETWEETS 5,207 LIKES
    via Twitter
  • 24
    Text - Stephen O'Neill @stephenoneill37 2 Scottish guys arguin down the beach last night n one of them goes wit u lookin at n the other one shouted back 5 year if u don't shup
    via Twitter
  • 25
    Text - СК Abt 9 junkies have walked into the same phonebox n am starting to think it's some sorta checkpoint for when they die they respawn inside it
    via Twitter
  • 26
    Text - 2d Here if yer maw doesne text yi tae tell yi the clocks go back the night then is she really even yer maw? Discuss. 21 15
    via Twitter
  • 27
    Cheezburger Image 9055463680
    via Twitter
  • 28
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    via Twitter
  • 29
    Text - Colin @_Mozza Guy outside central to me earlier when going for my train "You got the time mate?" Me 'Aye half seven. Him "in the morning?" #Glasgow
    via Twitter
  • 30
    Cheezburger Image 9055464448
    via Twitter
  • 31
    Text - Stirling Police @StirlingPol Just to be clear, 'I was looking for a Pokestop' is not an acceptable reason for being on the roof of a shop with a crowbar at 2am! 18/07/2016, 14:45
    via Twitter
  • 32
    Text - Veronica McCluskey @veronicamcc95 Wit if a "dab" is just a secretive way of smellin yer oaksters. Dance, dance, dance DAB, ooft a needty freshen up x 03/02/2017, 19:53 5 RETWEETS 25 LIKES
    via Twitter
  • 33
    Cheezburger Image 9055465216
    via Twitter
  • 34
    Text - Liam Campbell @LiamCampbell 1 A told the polish cleaner in ma work 'ya dobber' is scottish slang for please and hes been saying it tae everyone in the office today 12/12/2016, 12:38 53 RETWEETS 207 LIKES Liam Campbell @LiamCampbell 1 6h @LiamCampbell 1 'Can I get in there dobber' just said at to the Site Manager to clean under his desk hahahahaha 11 57
    via Twitter
  • 35
    Cheezburger Image 9055465728
    via Twitter
  • 36
    Cheezburger Image 9055465984
    via Twitter
  • 37
    Cheezburger Image 9055466240
    via Twitter
  • 38
    Text - Meigs @jordan_meighan Primary school first aid though, cut yourself, put a wet paper towel on it, got a sore head, wet paper towel, da just died, wet paper towel 27/04/2016, 12:02 am from Renfrew, Scotland 1,636 RETWEETS 2,200 LIKES
    via Twitter

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