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38 Times Scottish Twitter Left Us Thoroughly Entertained

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  • 1
    Text - Kyle @kylechristie0 Failed ma driving test today cos a picked up too many minors, no ma fault they needed a lift hame from school
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  • 2
    Text - Connor Coll @connorcoll16 Driving instructor says u just back fae Tenerife n a went naw just the sun beds, n he went naw cos ur on the wrang side ae the road
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  • 3
    Text - scottyJ @scotty j Ma dads actual raging at me because a came in steamin last night and used all the family ham to feed the cats in the street
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  • 4
    Text - Noam Dar @NoamDar DO shout out to all ma teachers that didne discourage ma dreams cause they just nodded along tryna get through another day dealing wae daftys
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  • 5
    Text - duln @dylan_bell3 haha ma maw thought it was her pal at the door there and it was the Chinese so she shouted come in n this wee chinese guy walked in
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  • 6
    Text - clodagh Why I love Troon X 7:39 pm 17%D 02-UK QSearch Alison Donald Troon...the small town with the big heart 1 hr-Kilmarnock m Pet hate moan! - to whoever put the banner saying "Happy 50th Tricia" on the fence opposite Deveron Road lights, it's been there a week now! Surely Tricia doesn't need a constant reminder! The rest of us don't HAPPY either! Whoever put it there, time to remove it! STOP Like $50% Comment MOANING Yasmin Dunscombe and 20 others TRICIA ALISON Tina Sinclair Maybe they
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  • 7
    Text - Liám @LiamN96 Burds that go on n on bout being psychos' psychos murder waines and feel nae remorse no go in a mood cos their bf liked a burds photie
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  • 8
    Text - montyyyy @montyyy_x Nov 1 Sleeping naked is all well and good until yer maw whips the covers off ye in the morning to wake u up and yer sitting wae yer dobber oot t226 1.2K
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  • 9
    Text - Connor Magill @ronnoclligam Yer faithers just went intae the polling station and tried tae vote for rangers 2:25 pm 07 May 15 from Ayr, Scotland 749 RETWEETS 849 LIKES
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  • 10
    Food - Kyle Muir @KylelSMuir Nov 19 @cannyswim a breakfast munchie box ahaha when will it end
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  • 11
    Text - Paula Ramsay @plouise16 In McDonald's and the girl shouted to the back 'need a spicy legend' and a wee guy shouted back 'I'm right here doll 18/12/2016, 13:50
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  • 12
    Text - Calum Paton @calum paton lassie ID'd me at tesco and said "is this you or your twin brother" if he was ma twin he'd be the same age as me ya badger
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  • 13
    Text - holly stevenson @Hollystevee How much of a brass neck is it when u get a taxi yourself n they send you a big bitchin 7 seater home in Optimus primes maw genuinely goin 10:05 pm 25 Sep 15 178 RETWEETS 384 LIKES
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  • 14
    Product - Grant Paton Andy lost his ID at a gig. Some burd found it and refused to give him it back unless he brought her a thank you balloon
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  • 15
    Text - Larry Wee guy on this bus lets an old guy take his seat because it's busy Old guy disnae say cheers Wee guy shouts: Aye yer welcome bunnet heid
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  • 16
    Text - Just ate a packet eh M&S ham and ma maws fuming "that was the bloody good ham" whit were you gonna dae with it like hing it on the walls
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  • 17
    Product - Sean Carrigg @seancarrigg1 Maw's always sayin 'your gonny turn into a chicken goujon' see if she's laughin when she pulls back ma cover's tae find this 08/10/2016, 17:28 5,350 RETWEETS 12.3K LIKES
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  • 18
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  • 19
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  • 20
    Text - Kieran @Goudie15 What dae "dance students" actually get upty on a daily basis? Like is there a textbook wae a chapter dedicated 10 Mar tae the Mambo No.5? t3,886 6,425
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  • 21
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  • 22
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  • 23
    Text - JONO @JonathanOHaara Got a couple of English uni pals that don't understand our patter and it's class Fraser Stewart Actual taps aff the day 11:52 Morgan Orr My tap is aff 11:55 Georgia Chilton Why haven't you got water? 12:18 31/05/2016, 12:28 pm 2,780 RETWEETS 5,207 LIKES
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  • 24
    Text - Stephen O'Neill @stephenoneill37 2 Scottish guys arguin down the beach last night n one of them goes wit u lookin at n the other one shouted back 5 year if u don't shup
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  • 25
    Text - СК Abt 9 junkies have walked into the same phonebox n am starting to think it's some sorta checkpoint for when they die they respawn inside it
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  • 26
    Text - 2d Here if yer maw doesne text yi tae tell yi the clocks go back the night then is she really even yer maw? Discuss. 21 15
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  • 27
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  • 28
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  • 29
    Text - Colin @_Mozza Guy outside central to me earlier when going for my train "You got the time mate?" Me 'Aye half seven. Him "in the morning?" #Glasgow
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  • 30
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  • 31
    Text - Stirling Police @StirlingPol Just to be clear, 'I was looking for a Pokestop' is not an acceptable reason for being on the roof of a shop with a crowbar at 2am! 18/07/2016, 14:45
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  • 32
    Text - Veronica McCluskey @veronicamcc95 Wit if a "dab" is just a secretive way of smellin yer oaksters. Dance, dance, dance DAB, ooft a needty freshen up x 03/02/2017, 19:53 5 RETWEETS 25 LIKES
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  • 33
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  • 34
    Text - Liam Campbell @LiamCampbell 1 A told the polish cleaner in ma work 'ya dobber' is scottish slang for please and hes been saying it tae everyone in the office today 12/12/2016, 12:38 53 RETWEETS 207 LIKES Liam Campbell @LiamCampbell 1 6h @LiamCampbell 1 'Can I get in there dobber' just said at to the Site Manager to clean under his desk hahahahaha 11 57
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  • 35
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  • 36
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  • 37
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  • 38
    Text - Meigs @jordan_meighan Primary school first aid though, cut yourself, put a wet paper towel on it, got a sore head, wet paper towel, da just died, wet paper towel 27/04/2016, 12:02 am from Renfrew, Scotland 1,636 RETWEETS 2,200 LIKES
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