FAIL Blog

CEO pushes junior staff member for more productivity, they start working their scheduled hours: 'I worked exactly the hours I was paid to, instead of coming in 30 minutes early and staying 30 minutes longer as well'

It's ironic how the cubicle was the symbol of working-class oppression in the 80s, 90s, and 00s, with countless references in popular culture using it to establish the character's insignificant overlooked place in society. The cheap grey carpet and the temporariness of the fabrication reflected how the organizations viewed their lowest productive workers—too expendable to bother placing in an ordinary office. 

Now, fast forward twenty-odd years, and they're not even bothering to stick workers in carpeted squares. Justifying this move with snazzy, jazzy buzz words like "open-planned" and "hot-desked" in order to convince workers that these new fads are somehow in their best interest. Further irony comes in the form of the fact that some hot-desking offices are effectively telling their workers that their work doesn't necessitate or require a permanent place for them to work from… Yet they aren't allowed any working-from-home arrangements.

These offices are the plight of the modern worker. Would it be too much to ask for a place to put pictures of your family so you can be reminded why you come to this forsaken place? The only people who ever really seem to be a fan of this arrangement are your coworkers, who view socializing as their job and never seem to be getting any work done outside of gossiping anyway. These "personality hires" do nothing but keep the rest of us from focusing on our work. 

Like what you see? Follow our WhatsApp channel for more.

Posted by Brad Dickson
Advertisement

  • This worker became the target of their company's CEO, who was desperate to pinpoint why their open plan office was failing and increase productivity. They were first, bewilderingly, tasked with making the open plan office “quieter." This was a confusing request as they and their coworkers had long since adapted to the noise and lack of privacy by wearing noise-cancelling earphones… And asking the most junior worker in the office to “make the open-plan office quieter” sounds dreadfully similar to an office equivalent telling a mechanics apprentice to fetch headlight fluid—or any number of related jokes.

    The real purpose behind the task was revealed when they were subsequently blamed for not quieting the office and told that they were, in fact the source of all this loudness, setting in action a course of events that their employer would live to regret… 

    See their story below, followed by reactions from the online community where their story was originally shared.

  • Advertisement
  • 1
    "The office is still very noisy. I had a really simple request to keep it down and you just couldn't listen. You're even the one talking the loudest of all!"
    Via Alex Kotliarskyi
  • 2

    "Open offices s---, but I've proven my point..."

    Ok, so I just turned 20 and was the youngest guy at a company I just (half a year) started working for. The guy which was just "a bit" older was over 30, but he and I could get along really well andI was lucky (since I'm quite an introvert) that he took me into a small group of really nice colleagues that were more friends than just work buddies.
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 3
    The office we worked in looked really nice, but all the levels were connected with a large open area, so when someone on the first floor was making a call, people on the third floor could follow the entire conversation. This wasn't a huge deal most of the time, because we always had a radio turned on and people who wanted to concentrate just put on headphones. Overall a very informal workplace and no real management layer, just a couple of directors and no actual
    Via u/sir-corn
  • Advertisement
  • 4
    managers. Me and the rest of the group were sitting on the top floor, and since my buddy was a lunatic we were laughing and just chatting a bit. In comes a message from the CEO, asking me to come into the meeting room, which was only 1 of 2 closed offices in the entire building. This wasn't that
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 5
    strange since even though I was young, I had perticular skills which the company relied on so they often asked if I could join a meeting. But this time, only the CEO sat there, and instead of the usual joking around, he asked me to sit down like a school principal would if you did something wrong.
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 6
    "I noticed that you're coming along nicely with a lot of your colleagues and I think they reallly have respect for you. The thing is, it's rather noisy lately, but I don't want them thinking I'm sort of a police officer
    Via u/sir-corn
  • Advertisement
  • 7
    demanding them to stay quiet since we're all friends in here. So I want you to keep the noise levels down and tell them to stay productive.". I told him that I would pass on the message, but that it didn't look like it was my place to tell the people who worked here for years and are all at least 10 years older than I was, that they had to 'obey my authority', since I didn't feel I had
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 8
    any. Well, since the rest of the group dug into the meeting calendar and found out that there wasn't any planned, they instantly looked at me when I came back with those big eyes which are ready for gossip. I passed on the message and they were all a bit shocked, stating that they were like this for years and never had any trouble.
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 9
    A couple of weeks later I got called into the meeting room for again by the CEO. My colleagues directly noticed how I walked away from my desk that I was called in again as I had my head worried about what the issue was this time. No one else was called in the mean time, just me. And yes, I was asked to sit down again and the CEO began with a
    Via u/sir-corn
  • Advertisement
  • 10
    huge sigh: "The office is still very noisy. I had a really simple request to keep it down and you just couldn't listen. You're even the one talking the loudest of all!". I was raised to not interrupt people, but that time I did: "Well, you've stated before that I have a deep voice which carries through the entire building. Since then I've done my best to keep my voice down!". It didn't matter, as he continued his lecture. In the end he made a conclusion; "I didn't want to do this, but I'm going
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 11
    allowed to sit where you want even though we have a flexible workspace. I'm starting with you, you'll be sitting across me on the first floor. It's not for the noise, it's just better for your productivity. I'll be informing the rest and you're not allowed to discuss this with them at all". So, being both as flabbergasted, I took my laptop and backpack without saying a
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 12
    word and moved to the first floor. I picked up my headphones which I normally never use, put them on and went to town on my work. This became my routine for 2 weeks, and if someone had a question; "sorry, I have to concentrate on my work". If they needed me in a meeting in order to get a new client I responded with; "I won't be able to be as productive as I need to be" and most of all, I worked exactly the hours I was paid to, instead of coming in 30 minutes early and staying 30
    Via u/sir-corn
  • Advertisement
  • 13
    minutes longer as well. The CEO starting noticing me turning bitter and tried turning it around; "Hi [name of sir-corn], lovely day ain't it?", which I responded to with "uhuh" and putting on my headphones again. "want me to grab you a cup of coffee?" - "no I'm good, thanks".
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 14
    Even though I still worked my off during working hours, it became noticeable that the hourly rate dropped and my colleagues started complaining to the directors that they really needed my expertise but that I wasn't available for them. The CEO loved calling me into his office, but now that he had to admit to his defeat, I just
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 15
    received a small message while he sat across me; "you're free to sit wherever you want, it has come to my attention that it is in the interest of the company if I give you and your colleagues a bit more freedom.". He
    Via u/sir-corn
  • Advertisement
  • 16
    continued to bug me about leaving 5 minutes early even if I came in 30 minutes before I had to, but he never dared to talk about my work ethics ever again. Moral of the story; don't try to push for more productivity, it might backfire. Oh, and open offices
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 17
    RabidRathian Open offices are one of the worst ideas anyone has ever had. I've luckily never had to be in one for a job context but after I was moved out of my office where I was doing my PhD*, they put me in an open office space. There were probably 30-40 desks in there, with about half of those being occupied at any given time. There was a kitchen area off to the side, but the problem
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 18
    is, there was only a half panel separating it, so when people went in there to make their lunch, you'd hear the microwave (which was really old and loud and sang an annoying trill every time it finished microwaving) and the clattering of mugs and cutlery etc. There were always people either talking on their mobiles or chatting at their friends' desks. People would often interrupt me for a chat as well, which I wouldn't have minded if I was in the kitchen/clearly not working, but they'd do it whe
    Via u/sir-corn
  • Advertisement
  • 19
    In the end I stopped going to uni and started working from home because I just couldn't concentrate in that environment. *which was a trainwreck in general because the university didn't give me any notice and also managed to screw up every step of the process in helping me move and set up my equipment in the new room they gave me to test in. I had to have a dedicated room because the experiments I needed to do required open space and also that I had no one walking past in the background.
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 20
    RazzBeth Open offices are supposed to encourage collaboration between employees. All it really does is annoy people into wearing headphones all of the time so there is less collaboration. The place where I work has lockers for you to put your personal belongings in at the beginning of the day and it has never felt more like being back in large. high school. It
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 21
    Jonsotheraccount79 Open offices • My company had them - saw a huge spike in productivity after WFH. Color me shocked.
    Via u/sir-corn
  • Advertisement
  • 22
    O Waldemar-Firehammer Yep, studies have shown as much as 30% increase in productivity when working remote for knowledge based work. I was called back into office work after 16 months of exceptional work from home, and now they've given us back one day a week for remote work.
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 23
    Everyone is i, and guess when everyone gets the most work done? Companies need to realize that office environments are more undesirable than ever for knowledge based workers, or they are going to have retention and recruitment problems in the long term, and leave money on the table in the short term. All that without even considering workplace morale.
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 24
    ilovefireengines Very confident application of malicious compliance, bravo! ☐ you had to go this length but clearly you are have important skills that the CEO will have more respect for. And stop coming in 30 mins early!
    Via u/sir-corn
  • Advertisement
  • 25
    iceyone444 Managers and execs who love open plan offices always have their own spaces.
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 26
    B2Rocketfan77 I don't understand why the CEO chose OP to be the Quiet Police. Great story tho!
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 27
    MindingMine Great story. And yeah, open offices . I worked in one for 9 years and it took a toll on my mental heath. Getting my own office in my current job was heaven. What more is open offices with even workstations shared on a first- come, first-served basis. That is the reality I and my colleagues are currently trying to prevent from happening when the office moves next year.
    Via u/sir-corn
  • Advertisement
  • 28
    hedge1976 It's funny, I have been in a private office for 12 years. Then I was moved into an open office for a stupid reason. I warned them I will need to have many calls on speaker during the day to conduct business. Now I am getting to figure out a solution as I am too loud. Sadly, moving me into the empty office that has been empty for a year is not something they want to do. So nothing changes. /shrug
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 29
    Saint3Love Open offices are the literal devil. Whoever convinced all the execs to swap from completely normal workstations to what we have now got a fat bonus im sure.
    Via u/sir-corn
  • 30
    Violet Daeva Managers usually don't have an open office because they are sat tossing it off while the workers work. This is why they are against people working from home because they project what they would do (ie nothing) on their workforce. I hate open offices. People just randomly come to my desk to ask pointless questions. Or just look at my screen which often has confidential customer information on.
    Via u/sir-corn

Stay up to date by following us on Facebook!

Tags

employment job jobs work workplace malicious compliance workplace-stories workplace discussion in the workplace workplace malicious compliance ceo open plan office Office Horrible Bosses hot desking

Next on FAIL Blog

Scroll down for the next article

Comments

Advertisement

Hot Today

'Bye-bye': Employee leaves company high and dry after learning that micromanager attempted to undermine his promotion 1
‘I told them to kick rocks’: Employee quits after 5 years of being denied a promotion, panicked company finally offers him a promotion, but it's too late 2
Store employee refuses to give kid her money back after she is 5 cents short on her purchase, resulting in a dispute with observing customers: ‘Give her the money’ 3
Boss takes away employee's flexibility they take leave and start looking for other work: 'Boss wanted to take away the only reason I stayed in the company' 4
‘Please leave!’: Employee flees to new city to escape former boss only to be met by an unexpected visit at new workplace 5
'I want my bedroom painted blue, no matter what': Painting company finds workaround for customer who refuses to paint her house white 6
‘Please leave!’: Employee flees to new city to escape former boss only to be met by an unexpected visit at new workplace 1
'It was amazing, still the best work email I’ve ever received': 20+ Rage-quitters who left their jobs on the spot 2
'He didn't know what "coffee with milk" meant': Inexperienced intern bungles office culture at his first workplace 3
Retail chain cuts workers' hours rather than paying overtime: 'They are going to schedule all the full timers at 35 hours so that no one goes over 40' 4
'Work completion rates dropped by over 50%': New manager tries to tackle inefficiency by having workers drive directly to site, accidentally makes everyone waste more time 5
'Nobody else in the office could do what I was doing': Store owner refuses to hire a new HVAC dispatcher until the last minute because he thinks they're "bluffing" 6

Follow The Laughs

Terms | Privacy | Security | DMCA Policy
Advertisement