'Taking her along to the appointment would have resulted in tears, confusion, and not finding a dress': Entitled Mother-in-law Stops Speaking to Bride After Not Being Invited Wedding Dress Shopping

Advertisement
  • 01
    . r/AmltheAsshole ⚫ 20 hr. ago EqualStrange8904 AITA for not taking future MIL to the bridal appointment
  • 02
    I am looking for advice on how to kindly explain to my future MIL why she was not invited to my bridal appointment. I went to a sample sale back in December and wound up buying the first dress I tried on. My 2
  • 03
    sisters and my mom were in the entourage. The dress was 60% off and was what I was looking for (simple, no lace, no beading, no mesh, fit and flair with a train) so it was a no brainer that it was the one. My expectations were low as I was worried there would not be a sample gown that would fit me, but this dress was it!
  • 04
    Now onto my future MIL. She has been so bitter this entire planning process and makes a face of disgust every time we show her our wedding plans (hates the colours, the venue, the food, the photographer... you name it, she will find something about it that she does not like). I hate what I see when I look in
  • 05
    the mirror, so I was not mentally prepared for her inevitable criticisms of the dress, as (in my opinion) it is in a way a criticism of my body. My fiancee disagreed and said she would never be so harsh about my looks, but I do not feel that way. She would not have liked
  • 06
    the experience. She would have talked me out of this dress. My future MIL is not one to buy something on the spot, she would have wanted me to go home and think on it before buying it. Now, this is practical, but not how the sample sale worked, as you had to say yes on
  • 07
    the spot otherwise it would go to another bride. She also would not have been able to see my vision, as the dress still needed alterations. For these reasons, I knew taking her along to the appointment would have resulted in tears, confusion, and not finding a dress.
  • 08
    I SWEAR I intended to take her to the next shopping trip, which wound up not being necessary, and if she had not started giving me the silent treatment, I was going to take her to a bridal fitting.
  • 09
    Now here is where I might be the AH. Since getting the dress without her present, her negative comments have gotten much worse and I have started getting my guard up as soon as we start talking about the wedding with her. It is
  • 10
    to the point where I cannot even handle constructive criticism from her because i am in full fight-or-flight mode when she is around. I am honestly not sure who is giving who the silent treatment at this point, but we have stopped talking to each other.
  • 11
    Tomorrow we are supposed to go have a talk with my fiancee present and I need to explain to her with a calm head why things have changed between us.
  • 12
    I feel like this all could have been avoided if she had just come to the bridal appointment in the first place, and if I had a spine, I could have just ignored her comments and bought the dress anyways. AITA?
  • 13
    Apart-Ad-6518 • 20h ago Craptain [168] NTA "I was not mentally prepared for her inevitable criticisms of the dress, as (in my opinion) it is in a way a criticism of my body." Why would you take someone that critial & negative along? " and makes a face of disgust every time we show her our wedding plans." To anything to do with your wedding?
  • 14
    rikkimit . 19h ago Aficionado [11] NTA. Take a long, hard look at what you're marrying into. If your fiance isn't defending you and telling her to back off now, as he should be, he won't do it after you're married. How long are you willing to live with this?
  • 15
    DevotedRed · • 19h ago Edited 17h ago Partassipant [1] Tell her you are leaning on people who are supportive and that her negativity has really been affecting you lately. Apologise that her feelings were hurt but explain that her constant criticisms have been hurting you too. Then suggest a fresh start. NTA
  • 16
    Jyqm • 20h ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [34] NTA, obviously, and if you aren't in therapy already, please get yourself there soon. The fact that you're seriously entertaining the notion, "But if I just let this person who is mean and abusive toward me have their way, maybe they wouldn't be so mean and abusive toward me?" is alarming. You will presumably be dealing with this nasty woman for the rest of her natural life, and the time to set clear boundaries with her is right now. Don't let her walk int
  • 17
    NotCreativeAtAll16 • 20h ago Commander in Cheeks [228] NTA. You know who never came to one of my dress fitting for either wedding? My future MIL. Because YOU are the bride, and you need people thst you trust. And I don't know. about you, but I wanted my dress to be a surprise to as many people as possible. She the AH for her actions, but your fiancée is also an AH in this case for not his mom down.
  • 18
    . Fancy-Repair-2893 • 18h ago Nta, you don't have a mil problem, it's future husband problem. He should have stopped this months ago, he hasn't. Either except she doesn't like you and won't say it to her sons face or breakup
  • 19
    Heeler Haven . 19h ago NTA The bridal dress shopping is for the people who support the BRIDE.... it's her. closest friends and family, not the Groom's (or other bride's) side...... Does she pull this in front of her son, or just when he's not there? She is not going to improve unless her own. child shuts her down, completely.
  • 20
    BriefHorror • 19h ago [119] Supreme Court Just- NTA big time. However I would pause the wedding until your Hubby to be pops his and stops head out of his own defending his mother being horrible to you. I am telling you now no man is worth a r/JUSTNOMIL please I beg of you don't marry a momma's boy.
  • 21
    Cheezburger Image 10368663552

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article