30 Hilarious Parenting Tweets for Mothers with Little Birds in the Nest this Summer

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    Mumnipotent Ruler @MumOfTwo Follow Sometimes I think my memory is going, but then I successfully say goodnight to my son's 5724 stuffed animals by name and I think, nah I'm good.
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    Mumnipotent Ruler @MumOfTwo Follow "Sharing is caring," my 3 year old says as he takes my last cookie.
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    Mumnipotent Ruler @MumOfTwo Follow Just caught myself totally judging the design choices in my son's Lego house.
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    Mumnipotent Ruler @MumOfTwo Follow My toddler can't say banana, but can say Mayor Humdinger. Thanks Paw Patrol.
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    Mumnipotent Ruler @MumOfTwo Follow My toddler is upset that she only has two hands, so her transformation into a mom is complete.
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    Mumnipotent Ruler @MumOfTwo Follow Friend: how much screen time does your kids' doctor allow? Me: I was taught not to ask questions I don't want the answers to.
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    Mumnipotent Ruler @MumOfTwo Follow It's raining and my 3.5yo says his knee is acting up. So, it's safe to say we spend too much time with grandpa. 20:11 18/04/2024 317K Views
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    Mommy Needs A Life @mom_needsalife Follow I'm at the stage in my life now when my kid describes someone as old I have to say "old like me or old like grandma"?
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    Mommy Needs A Life @mom_needsalife Follow Please know that if someone buys your kid glitter, slime, or a drum set they do not like you.
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    Mommy Needs A Life @mom_needsalife Follow My son told me old people talk about the "stupidest stuff" and then walked into the next room and asked his friend if he'd rather be the Keebler Elf or the Trix Rabbit.
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    SARCASTIC MOMMY Sm Sarcastic Mommy ❤ @sarcasticmommy4 If you like getting cereal out of the cupboard only to find someone put it back empty, kids are totally for you.
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    SARCASTE MOMMY SM Sarcastic Mommy ❤ @sarcasticmommy4 My kids said they wanted to try something new this summer so I showed them how to vacuum & do laundry.
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    SARCASTE MOMMY Sm Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4 My parenting journey has taken me from "My child will never" to "I'll allow it."
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    SARCASTE MOMMY SM Sarcastic Mommy ❤ @sarcasticmommy4 Beware of the child who cleans their room without being prompted. They are about to ask to borrow money.
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    SARCASTE MOMMY Sm Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4 What a parent's bucket list looks like: 3. Drink hot coffee 2. Shower without kids banging on the door 1. Pee alone
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    @real Ommy3 Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3 I've never felt closer to my kid than when she announced this morning: mommy, when I wake up it's too early for me
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    Ommy3 Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3 My favorite part of the school year is when they send home all the unused school supplies that I had to buy for my kid at the beginning of the year
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    Ommy3 Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3 They don't talk enough about the dark side of your kid's stuffed animals, like when the mouse shaped one suddenly falls off the table as your coming down the stairs in the middle of the night with your eyes half closed, and your screams wake up the entire house
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    Ommy Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3 Tired of chasing after your kids, announce loudly that you are going to bed early with a headache and don't want to be disturbed, they'll find you
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    Ommy3 Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3 "What is that thing?!" And other words of praise from your children when you buy something new for the house

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