Parents refuse to call 15-year-old daughter by her middle name after unusual first name prompted bullying: 'They claimed that I’d always be bullied...and a name change wouldn’t prevent anything'

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jul 29, 2024 9:00 PM EDT

As parents, there aren't many ways to ensure that your kid doesn't get bullied. Chances are, every child will be the victim of some sort of harassment from their peers at some point, so it's good to set them up for success so it doesn't become an insurmountable problem for them. I'd say the #1 way to prevent bullying is to not give your kid a god-awful name. I know that everybodies definition of a "bad name" is different, but if you're choosing from the most obscure figures the Old Testament has to offer, you're not necessarily helping your baby out. That's the naming circumstances of the 15-year-old girl at the center of this story. Instead of accepting her choice to go by her more feminine middle name, her parents told her that because of her disability, she would always get bullied, so she should just accept her awful name and grin and bear it. 

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    via aisvri

    Photo does not feature the real subjects in the story

  • 02
    AITA for ignoring my parents when they don't refer to me by my middle name?
    via u/_Miccup
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    I, 15f, was born physically disabled (this is relevant) with a highly uncommon, biblical name. My mother chose it by, quite literally, opening a bible and choosing the first word she saw. The name in question is considered to be more masculine, as well as very outdated. Due to this (and my disability), I've been bullied for most of my life. My name has been constantly made fun of, purposefully mispronounced and even been used as an excuse to misgender me. About two months ago, I made the decisio
    via u/_Miccup
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    everyone around me to use it, and for the most part, people did. The bullying died down and I felt a lot happier with a more feminine name. However, my parents (59m, 50F) are still referring to me by my first name. When I explained to them why I wanted to go by my middle name, they claimed that I'd always be bullied due to my disability and that a name change wouldn't prevent anything. They also said that, since they were old, they "shouldn't be expected to put in the effort of referring to me a
    via u/_Miccup
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    also argued that they'd only call me by my first name at home, so it shouldn't affect me. However, over the next month, they kept using my first name. Each time they used it, I was reminded of the constant bullying I put up with throughout my life. So, I had the idea to simply not respond to them, or say "that's not my name" every time they used my first name. It worked at first. However, they now either mock me, grumble, or complain to me that I'm overreacting. My parents believe that I'm disre
    via u/_Miccup
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    NotCreative AtAll16 1 day ago edited 1 day ago NTA. Your parents aren't old, they're lazy and dismissive in saying they're too old and set in their ways to change your name. You are old enough to determine by which name you'd like to be called. This is a lot like Dead naming someone who transitions. They are putting their feelings about the name they randomly chose for you over you feelings of carrying that name around with you until you're old enough to legally change it. If it were me, I'd do
    via u/NotCreativeAtAll16
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    notyoursocialworker - 1 day ago Exactly, my parents are 70+ and had no real problem adjusting to the fact that my niece now was a nephew and naming him accordingly.
    via u/notyoursocialworker
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    siani_lane 23 hr. ago If the Klingons can do it, your parents can!
    via u/siani_lane
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    74Magick 1 day ago Well, I think them saying "you will always be bullied because of your disability" is My grandson has Cerebral Palsy, and he is the sweetest, happiest little guy ever. So I'm going to be THAT GRANDMA if anyone bullies him. Your parents saying that so casually is disgusting. NTA
    via u/74Magick
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    DeskRider 1 day ago NTA. Your parents are bullying you into accepting what you've already said was unacceptable. They're no different than those outside of your family who've given you grief. What you should do is tell them that you're considering changing your entire name to something that works best for you. Bet they'll then start addressing you by that middle name in a flash.
    via u/DeskRider
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    galacticprincess - 1 day ago Great idea. "Mom and Dad, if you can't call me by my middle name, I'll be changing all of my names legally at age 18".
    via u/galacticprincess
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    fishebake. 19 hr. ago OP should change her name regardless at eighteen. it'll be up to her parents whether she changes her last name as well.
    via u/fishebake
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    phalseprofits 1 day ago Their stance is so dumb because I bet you all the dollars that when you get older, if you marry a straight Christian man, they would have zero difficulty understanding that your last name will change. they'd probably be thrilled to write things to you as Mrs. (Husband's last name). Also, didn't they pick your middle name too? It's not like you said you new name is SonictheHedgehog or something. NTA at all. This is the crappy part of being smarter and saner than your paren
    via u/phalseprofits
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    East_Hospital_2775. 1 day ago NTA at all. I hate when parents choose ridiculous names for their kids, even moreso when they get defensive when the kid is old enough to object to it. It's just selfish.
    via u/East_Hospital_2775
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    Constant-Cupcake-962 1 day ago Nta, I have 2 kids and if one of them was bullied for their (admittedly quite common) names I'd happily let them change it to their middle if they preferred. It's not a huge deal. The fact they aren't even concerned about you being bullied is awful. I'm glad she's stopped physically hitting you but that should have never happened in the first place. I wouldn't take anything that woman says to heart, for saying that she's Christian enough to name you a biblical name
    via u/Constant-Cupcake-962
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    ---fork--- 23 hr. ago Physically hitting? Where did OP say she was being physically abused?
    via u/---fork---
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    Constant-Cupcake-962 23 hr. ago It was at the bottom when I replied not sure if it's been edited out now. She said her mum used to get physical and hit but has stopped since cops got involved or something
    via u/Constant-Cupcake-962
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    ---fork--- 23 hr. ago Oh. I went through it a couple times, thinking I needed to have my eyes checked. :-) That really changes things wrt how she should handle this. Since everyone else is using her preferred name, and it looks like her parents are very controlling and are going to refuse to change, it might be better to do something less assertive like just correcting her parents with "my name is X" when they misname her. Anything more confrontational would get retaliation, even if they don't h
    via u/---fork---
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    GoldenGrove 29. 1 day ago NTA. Your 2 biggest bullies are right in your house.
    via u/GoldenGrove29

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funny names bully baby names crazy things parents say bad parenting bad parents bad names names old people bullying middle names name Parenting Fail nickname Parenting FAILS
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