Couple marries despite their 12-year-old sons hating each other since kindergarten, can't believe it's not resolved when they're 17: 'It was humiliating to realize other people are so aware of the bad blood'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Aug 11, 2024 1:00 PM EDT

TV shows romanticize blended families. The most famous blended family of all time, The Brady Bunch, has to be a TV show because it would never happen in real life. A widower with three sons marries a widow with three daughters. By an act of God, each daughter is the same age as one of the sons. They have their squabbles, but there's nothing that can't get resolved in 30 minutes of television. Even Drake and Josh, a show about two step-brothers who are complete opposites, never depicted a conflict they could never overcome. Drake doesn't exactly love Josh at first, but being brothers slowly but surely helps form a lifelong bond. Unfortunately, sitcoms made for kids and families do not always imitate life. One woman recently went viral on Reddit for sharing the story of her nephew and step-nephew, who have hated each other since they were 5 and continue to not get along despite their parents being married for 5 years.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10383614464
    via Peter F. Wolf

    Photo does not feature the real subject in the story


     

  • 02
    AITA for telling my sister people did express concerns about her son and stepson before she got married and she didn't listen?
    via u/CryptographerAny6604
  • 03
    My sister has been married for 5 years. She has a 17 year old son and a 17 year old stepson in her home. The boys knew each other since kindergarten and they never got along. I remember my sister telling the rest of the family that she was called in and asked if she'd object to her son and "the other child" being buddied for a few weeks so they could work out their issues.
    via u/CryptographerAny6604
  • 04
    Sister said that was fine. They tried for 7 weeks or something like that. They were seat pals, each other's helper and were given small "jobs" to do together to build a better dynamic and it failed. The whole time they were next to each other it was in the class. This dynamic did not let up. The two of them do not like each other, I personally do believe they truly hate each other.
    via u/CryptographerAny6604
  • 05
    Then my sister and her husband started a relationship. Prior to them moving in together and also prior to the wedding, many of us spoke to my sister about what a bad idea it seemed to be because the boys were not capable of getting along. She told us they'll have to once they're family and it'll do them some good. I asked her if she really believed that and if she really wanted to live in a house where two members do not want to see the other ever. She told me she
    via u/CryptographerAny6604
  • 06
    loved her husband (then fiancé) too much to end things or hold off on marriage. She also told me she was going to convince her son to give her stepson a chance to be a friend if nothing else. That the kids clash in personality and they have some shared interests so they can work it out. She didn't like when our dad took her aside before the wedding and warned her it would end badly because of the boys.
    via u/CryptographerAny6604
  • 07
    My sister and her husband have a son together now. He's also caught in the middle of both of his half brothers hating each other. We all became a witness to just how much these two do not want to be near each other. We witnessed fights, glares, all kinds of things. My sister's stepson lost his on our great aunt for calling them brothers.
    via u/CryptographerAny6604
  • 08
    There was an incident a couple of weeks ago. My nephew lost a friend. He'd been sick for a while and sadly passed away just before his 17th birthday. My sister and her husband wanted all four of them to attend the funeral, with their son together going to our parents. Her stepson didn't want to go, said he didn't want to support my nephew and he didn't care. He thought it was funny as how upset my nephew was. Said he
    via u/CryptographerAny6604
  • 09
    hated the dead kid too. While at the funeral my sister and her husband were sympathizing with the boys parents and expressed that both nephew and step-nephew said kind things about their son. They told my sister and her husband there was no way step-nephew said kind things about their son and he shouldn't have been there.
    via u/CryptographerAny6604
  • 10
    My sister said it was humiliating to realize other people are so aware of the bad blood. She then said we never warned her and I corrected her and said we did and she didn't listen. She told me we didn't try hard enough and how dare I say we did enough. AITA?
    via u/CryptographerAny6604
  • 11
    Dark54g. 4 hr. ago NTA. I am surprised one of these boys hasn't gone to live with other relatives.
    via u/Dark54g
  • 12
    CryptographerAny6604 OP 4 hr. ago It's not that simple to do. Especially when they are with their only involved parent.
    via u/CryptographerAny6604
  • 13
    Meghanshadow 3 hr. ago They're 17, not 7. It's not like law enforcement in many jurisdictions would drag them back from any safe place they went at that age if they run on their own when they're fifteen weeks or whatever from being legal. I'm surprised one hasn't just decamped and left to stay with anybody else.
    via u/Meghanshadow
  • 14
    I'm guessing parent/stepparent have committed to paying for some or all college for both boys and no relative they'd want to stay with can afford/is willing to do that? That's the only reason I'd have stayed at that age.
    via u/Meghanshadow
  • 15
    stuckinnowhereville · 3 hr. ago You honestly should offer your nephew to live with you. Your sister is a bad mom. Your nephew when he graduates is going to leave and never look back.
    via u/stuckinnowhereville
  • 16
    Comfortable-Sea-2454 5 hr. ago ΝΤΑ "My sister said it was humiliating to realize other people are so aware of the bad blood. She then said we never warned her and I corrected her and said we did and she didn't listen. She told me we didn't try hard enough and how dare I say we did enough." You tried
    via u/Comfortable-Sea-2454
  • 17
    "Then my sister and her husband started a relationship. Prior to them moving in together and also prior to the wedding, many of us spoke to my sister about what a bad idea it seemed to be because the boys were not capable of getting along. She told us they'll have to once they're family and it'll do them some good. And you need to remind her of this conversation.
    via u/Comfortable-Sea-2454
  • 18
    "She didn't like when our dad took her aside before the wedding and warned her it would end badly because of the boys." And this conversation. Your sister and her husband are flaming AH though.
    via u/Comfortable-Sea-2454
  • 19
    derbarkbark 3 hr. ago It's also interesting to me that OPs sister thinks those parents said that bc of "bad blood". Like stepson isn't just a bully to people in general.
    via u/derbarkbark
  • 20
    Auntie-Mam69. 3 hr. ago This to me is the whole crux. The parents of the deceased kid knew about this stepson from their own son's experience. OP's sister will lose her son over her choices.
    via u/Auntie-Mam69
  • 21
    Primary-Friend-7615 · 1 hr. ago This. OP's nephew may be reacting to it, but the step- nephew a) made fun of the fact that one of his classmates died, and b) was actively unwelcome at the funeral of said classmate.
    via u/Primary-Friend-7615
  • 22
    The first is pretty terrible on its own. The second says that more than just the nephew has a problem with this kid, to the point that the grieving parents felt compelled to say he wasn't welcome - rather than a relative or a friend saying something, or OP's sister just getting massive side-eye from everyone in the know.
    via u/Primary-Friend-7615
  • 23
    DuckOpen 4 hr. ago Your sister is delusional...the boys have not liked each other since KINDERGARTEN!
    via u/DuckOpen
  • 24
    CryptographerAny6604 OP 4 hr. ago Yep. And in kindergarten the teacher was unsuccessful in helping them get along.
    via u/CryptographerAny6604
  • 25
    Cruella_deville7584 - 3 hr. ago It kind of sounds like the kindergarten teacher might have made the situation worse. Forcing two kids who don't like each other to be buddies for 7 weeks is a good way to turn dislike into hate.
    via u/Cruella_deville7584
  • 26
    CryptographerAny6604 OP 3 hr. ago Apparently that was what the school did/promoted. But it failed which surprised them because "it always works".
    via u/CryptographerAny6604
  • 27
    Appropriate-Royal-17.4 hr. ago Did your sister truly believe that no one outside of the family knew? Also, is your sister always this accountability avoidant?
    via u/Appropriate-Royal-17
  • 28
    CryptographerAny6604 OP 4 hr. ago Not usually but with this she has been 100% each step of the way. Also, she knew the boys friends knew. There's bad blood there as a result. But the other parents and people outside that, she figured had no idea.
    via u/CryptographerAny6604
  • 29
    Jodenaje 3 hr. ago It's bizarre that she's only concerned because “other people know." Like, she didn't give a that the boys knew, your family knew, their friends knew. The kindergarten teacher knew. Other teachers probably knew. But all of a sudden realizing that other parents know that their whole "one big happy family" act is total and THEN she gets embarrassed?
    via u/Jodenaje
  • 30
    bunnylla 5 hr. ago INFO: What was the cause of this bad blood between your nephew and step- nephew?
    via u/bunnylla
  • 31
    CryptographerAny6604 OP 4 hr. ago I honestly don't have a definitive answer to that. Just that from the time they met they didn't get along. There definitely appears to be a clash of personalities and over time it got so bad that nephew hates step-nephew's friends and vice versa.
    via u/CryptographerAny6604

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hate nephews stepchildren family drama marriage stepkids teenager kids teenagers couples family stepdad Reddit nephew son couple conflict
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