Entitled Mom is 45 Minutes Late to Her Daughter's Wedding, Blames the Bride for 'Not Holding Up the Ceremony' When She Misses Everything

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  • 01
    "They missed it, 2 meant 2. My mother immediately became hostile and proceeded to blame [everyone else]. 'It's your fault you didn't call or text to see where we are' EXCUSE ME!! Again the invitation said 2"
  • 02
    AITA for starting my wedding ceremony before my mom showed up? The day of the wedding started out as they normally do, I (bride) was inside getting ready and final touches were being made outside.
  • 03
    After I was almost ready by noon, my mom had to run back to the hotel 20 minutes away to change and come back with my grandma and family friend.
  • 04
    The invitation says ceremony at 2, as per usual we were a little late starting but nothing crazy. Next thing I know I'm walking myself down the aisle with no mom,grandma, or family friend in sight. The ceremony continues and it's over before we know it.
  • 05
    Still nothing, after 45 minutes finally they pull up. Then I proceed to go and tell them it's over and that they missed it and that 2 meant 2. My mother immediately became hostile and proceeded to blame the bakery for not having buns ready, then said
  • 06
    they were stopped by a train and my personal favourite was "It's your fault you didn't call or text to see where we are". EXCUSE ME!! Again the invitation said 2. Also note the officiant also had another wedding to get to after mine so it was a tight schedule.
  • 07
    So am I the for not holding up my ceremony. Side note I found out the real reason why they were late, she wasn't done getting herself ready therefore holding up everyone. But she is mad at me because it's my fault.
  • 08
    sapient-meerkat • 9 hr. ago Definitely NTA. If she could receive a text, she could send a text. It's not up to the bride or groom to keep track of family on their wedding day.
  • 09
    That said, it is curious that no one -- no other family members, no other member of the wedding party, no wedding planner, etc. made an attempt to find out where the mother of the bride was when she didn't show up. Was it a tiny ceremony?
  • 10
    laxnut90 7 hr. ago Also, what good would a text have done? They already knew the start time. A text would've conveyed no new information except for the fact that "2 means 2".
  • 11
    marheena 7 hr. ago Pooperintendant [53] a text saying 'running 5 min late' will get you an extra 5 minutes from me. No text or 'wait 45min' will get you nothing NTA
  • 12
    owls_and_cardinals . 9 hr. ago Supreme Court Just- [145] NTA. You started your wedding on time. IDK what poor planning involved her leaving and coming back but she didn't make it, and her reaction doesn't sound like she even really intended to. I do not see why you should have to delay the start of your wedding for ANYONE. Sounds like an important lesson she needed to learn.
  • 13
    laxnut90 7 hr. ago OP probably was not capable of delaying it even if she wanted to. Many venues have multiple weddings in a day and have tight schedules. A delay by OP might've meant no wedding that day at all.
  • 14
    louisianacat1 9 hr. ago Enthusiast [5] NTA they had time to stop at a bakery?? They had no intention of being on time, they expected their presence meant more to you than it did and are mad to see that they aren't as important in real life as their own mind.
  • 15
    Gold Statistician500 8 hr. ago Partassipant [1] I assumed they were stopping at a bakery to get stuff for the wedding, not because they just wanted buns. But if they were just getting stuff that they wanted, that makes it even more ridiculous!
  • 16
    Gizmodevilcat 9 hr. ago NTA and it seems that your mom is a bit of a diva and wanted to make a grand (look at ME!) late entrance. You did right by your Pastor, your guests, and anyone else involved with your ceremony. Go low contact for a bit under she musters up enough humanity to see she was wrong.
  • 17
    EfficientSociety73 - 8 hr. ago Not to mention doing right by the other wedding party so they could be on time with their officiant ready to go!
  • 18
    buttpickles99.9 hr. ago Aficionado [13] NTA - getting married is incredibly stressful, with everyone's eyes on you and making a big step in your life. I remember on my wedding day being ushered around because there were so many people to greet and so many things to do between getting ready, pictures, the actual ceremony.
  • 19
    The last thing a bride should have to worry about is the guests in attendance. I would be devastated if my mom and grandma missed the wedding they knew what time it started. The entitlement to think you would hold up the ceremony to wait
  • 20
    for them is outrageous. Honestly, I would go no contact with my mom after this. Not an overreaction, she missed one of the most important moments in your life and you should be the one angry at her, not the other way around.
  • 21
    Apart-Ad-6518 - 9 hr. ago Commander in Cheeks [219] Totally NTA "It's your fault you didn't call or text to see where we are". On your wedding day.
  • 22
    Royally Oakie 9 hr. ago Judge, Jury, and Excretioner [377] NTA... Her lack of planning caused her to miss her own daughter's wedding. There's a moment nobody will forget for a long time.
  • 23
    Sammakko660 7 hr. ago Actually Mom will blame the daughter for a long time, since mom isn't willing to take responsibility for herself.
  • 24
    takesonetoknowonefam 9 hr. ago Partassipant [2] NTA. She's got some nerve blaming you for her being late. I mean...what? That's not how it works. And yes, venues do have several weddings in one day at times. They may cancel your wedding if you take too long to start, I wouldn't have taken that chance either.
  • 25
    Mapilean 8 hr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA. 45 minutes late is blatantly disrespectful. Your mother can pound sand. I bet she's an entitled bully in other areas as well.
  • 26
    1962Michael 8 hr. ago Craptain [191] NTA obviously. Your mother decided that HER appearance was more important than your wedding starting anywhere near on time.
  • 27
    extinct_diplodocus. 8 hr. ago Prime Ministurd [541]] NTA. Ask your mom, "What part of 2 o'clock was unclear?" Your mom has the idea that she's absolutely the most important person and everybody should wait for her. She isn't, and those with any self-respect won't. You did exactly what you needed and should have done.
  • 28
    SunshineShoulders87. 8 hr. ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [37] NTA. As someone with parents who were pathologically late, this was a power play and you called her on it. It was your wedding and she thought she could make it about her by dragging her feet and making everyone wait to start. I'm so sorry that you had that kind of drama on your wedding day and hope it inspires you to keep setting and enforcing necessary boundaries with her.
  • 29
    KickOk5591 9 hr. ago NTA, if your invite said it starts at 2, BE THERE BEFORE 2!
  • 30
    WEM-2022 9 hr. ago Partassipant [2] NTA. I suspect your mother has been this way your entire life. Re- evaluate how close you want to be with her going forward.
  • 31
    Morsac 8 hr. ago Congratulations on your wedding, I hope it was wonderful without the diva interrupting the service! Your mom sounds like a piece of work, I'm sorry that marred your day. I hope someday she has enough introspection to apologize to you for that. In the meantime, live your best life.

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