Man Refuses to Attend His Sister's Wedding After Finding Out She Purposefully Hid Her Maid of Honor's Identity: His Ex Girlfriend

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Sep 24, 2024 7:00 PM EDT

Welcome, gossiping gals. Wedding guest lists can be tricky to say the least. Ideally, we'd all just invite the people we care the most about, and everyone would just get along and be happy to celebrate, dance, drink, and be merry. Unfortunately, the people we love often have complicated relationships to each other. Our closest circles can be filled with people who lied to, cheated on, and hurt each other. Sometimes people don't like each other for no particular reason, and other gripes are very well deserved - even if we love all of these people equally.

In any case, it is absolutely important to be transparent about the guest list so that people can make their own decisions about attending the wedding and not be caught off guard when their evil ex is the maid of honor at their sister's wedding, as was the case in today's story. Read below for the full story filled with drama and deceit. 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheA u/Environment Own4681 • 18h AITA for refusing to go to my sisters wedding?
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  • 02
    I (30M) am refusing to go to my sisters (Maggie, 29F) wedding because she hid who her maid of honour was from me. For a bit of context I am currently dating Sophie (28F) and have been for the past three years. Before I dated Sophie I dated Anna (29F) for around five years but she cheated on me and we had a very messy breakup and I came out of it with lots of trust issues. During Anna's and my relationship I introduced Maggie to Anna and they
    via u/EnvironmentOwn4681
  • 03
    hit it off and got quite close really fast. My sister is my best friend so when Anna and I broke up I went I went to Maggie for support. Maggie comforted me and offered to cut ties with Anna for me but I told her it wasn't necessary and I didn't mind as long as she didn't mention Anna. Maggie agreed and I never heard anything about or from Anna again for the next few years.
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  • 04
    Maggie and Sophie got really quite close and Maggie is getting married in November so she asked Sophie to be her bridesmaid a while ago. Sophie was super excited and agreed. When I asked maggie who her maid of honour was she said it was a suprise and refused to tell me or sophie.
    via u/EnvironmentOwn4681
  • 05
    A few nights ago me and Maggie's fiancé, Dave, were out drinking and he let it slip that Anna was Maggie's maid of honour. I got really mad and decided to walk home to clear my head. When I got home i had a few missed calls from Maggie and I decided to ignore them and talk to Sophie. When i explained the situation to her she agreed that she wouldn't be comfortable spending all that time with Anna during their bridesmaid activities.
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  • 06
    I called Maggie the next morning and she started crying when I picked up and told me she was really sorry. She said "I just wanted everyone I love to be there for my big day" That remark kinda stung because I didn't know her and Anna were that close. I told her some warning would've be nice but me and Sophie are opting out of her wedding and I ended the call there. Maggie kept calling and messaging me and Dave even called me to ask for me to reply to Maggie because she was so upset. I refused an
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  • 07
    My parents messaged me telling me that Maggie is very willing to compromise to have me and Sophie there but Sophie said that I should keep my foot down and not go to prove a point that what Maggie did was not ok. I feel really guilty because Maggie is my best friend and I want to be there to support her but things are so sour with me and Anna and I don't want to make Sophie uncomfortable. AITA?
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  • 08
    Update: So I spoke to Maggie and she told me she was willing to compromise and take Anna out of the bridal party and just demote her to a guest. I made a comment along the lines of "If you really valued our relationship you would just uninvite her" She got upset and told me it wasn't fair for me to make her choose but I told her that I didn't think it was fair that she planned to just spring this on me on the day of wedding. She got a bit defensive and mentioned that I made it clear i didn't wan
    via u/EnvironmentOwn4681
  • 09
    sense and obviously I want to know about something important like this. Before the phone call I was thinking I would still go and just ignore Anna but now I don't want to go because of how Maggie has been with it. I feel as though if I choose to not go i'll regret it but if I do go Maggie will think she can do this kind of thing to me and Sophie. Sophie's out right now so I haven't spoken to her yet but i don't think she will be wanted to go especially after I tell her that Anna coming is basica
    via u/EnvironmentOwn4681
  • 10
    Update 2: 1 blocked Maggie on everything. While the comments were harsh they were a wake up check. I showed Sophie the post and after she read through the top comments she agreed that I need to cut contact with Maggie because she is not a good sister. Sophie also said she's already booked a getaway to a beach town a few hours away for the same weekend as her wedding for the cherry on top. My mum called me again and I answered with Sophie and she told that Maggie is "distraught" that I blocked he
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  • 11
    TopAd7154 17h Aficionado [10] NTA. Maggie lied to you by omission. She purposely hid something from you that she knew would hurt you. She exposed you to a person who hurt you deeply. I cant understand why she would even want to be friends with someone who cheated on her brother let alone have them at her wedding. Baffling. ← Reply 1.3k
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  • 12
    Rknot • 15h She didn't lie by omission. She straight up concealed the identity of her MOH. NTA ... 608
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  • 13
    Kmia55 14h Partassipant [1] She didn't lie by omission. She lied using manipulation. The "surprise" is BS. She planned on leaving two people she supposedly loves distraught when she thought it would be too late to change things and they would have to accept it. She lacks integrity. ... 108
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  • 14
    BestAd5844 • 10h Not to mention she was setting your current GF up to spend lots of bridesmaid time with your Ex! Did she think she was going to be able to keep Ex's identity a secret during all of those pre- wedding events? Was she hoping they would become friends in some twisted way and force you to tolerate her presence? ← 50
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  • 15
    KimB-booksncats-11 8h Partassipant [4] . "I cant understand why she would even want to be friends with someone who cheated on her brother let alone have them at her wedding. Baffling." This! It would be one thing to remains friends if OP and Anna because they just broke up but Anna cheated on OP. You cheat on my brother; you hurt one of my family members and I will yeet you out of my life so fast you'll get frequent flyer miles!
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  • 16
    Also, "Maggie is very willing to compromise to have me and Sophie there." YOU are her brother. Anna being there should be secondary to you being there, not a compromise. And besides, it it is a compromise then she should be happy because she doesn't have to make it anymore. NTA OP. Your sister LIED to you about this and is choosing a person who chose to hurt you over her relationship with you. I'm sorry you are going through this. Kinda wish your sister would see this post and realize just how s
    via u/KimB-booksncats-11
  • 17
    NTA catskilkid 17h Professor Emeritass [76] Clearly Maggie is the AH here. She may be your sister and best friend but SHE DID YOU WRONG. she purposely hid who her bridesmaid was. Not to "surprise you" (though I'm sure you were) but she KNEW exactly what she was doing. She wanted both of you there AND she knew this WAS a betrayal. You may still want to go to the wedding, but this TRUST BREAKING is a tough pill to swallow. Maggie can do what she wants with her wedding (she obviously did) but her l
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  • 18
    Effective One236 • 11h Partassipant [2] The worst part is that if he didn't find out, they would have had a huge blow up at her wedding. Was that the goal? Did she want the drama? or did she imagine that he'd just bite his tongue? or that Sophie wouldn't say something when she found out at the bachelorette party? Maggie seems totally out of touch or completely sociopathic. Major NTA. 152
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  • 19
    irowells1892 · 11h She absolutely thought he'd bite his tongue and keep the peace for her sake. Nobody ever expects a peacemaker to set boundaries. 89
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  • 20
    ΝΤΑ Ok_Penalty5438 • 17h who needs enemies when you have family like this. You told her not to talk to you about Anna and that you're okay with them being friends that's all well and good but she knew how you felt and she purposely hid it from you putting you and your new girlfriend in an uncomfortable situation. IMO, as your sister, she's choosing the ex who cheated on you and supported her. Basically, saying what she did. was ok. ... Reply 179
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  • 21
    Maleficent_Mistake50 • 15h Partassipant [2] At the end of the day Maggie LIED to you, OP. Some here are saying that your GF seems to eager for you to make a stand against your sister and that's a red flag.
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  • 22
    Are those saying that Sophie is a red flag missing the red flag that Maggie displayed on being best friends to a woman who CHEATED in her BROTHER and made her THE MAID OF HONOR???? Because I'm sorry. She hid the fact that Annie is not only her bff but also given the most IMPORTANT ROLE in the wedding that she KEPT from her own brother. How long did Maggie think she can keep that a secret boggles my mind and what was her endgame? Because "I want the people I love to be there" is a cop out. Maggie
    via u/Maleficent_Mistake50
  • 23
    I've personally never been cheated on but I'm the type of person who sees any sort of betrayal and I'm holding a grudge for a while. Cheating is such a emotionally devastating thing to endure and I'm sure that leaves a mark for a long time, especially since OP writes that it was a messy breakup afterwards which doesn't help the process either.
    via u/Maleficent_Mistake50
  • 24
    My only concern is how long was the period between the relationships with Annie and Sophie. Because if Sophie came in the picture literally right after the breakup or even within a year, she might have carried some of that emotional baggage of OP's hence why she is maybe pushing for him to put his foot down on his own family without thinking of the aftermath. Either way NTA. I'd be highly suspicious of Maggie from here on out. Reply 118
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  • 25
    Environment Own4681 OP. 9h The gap was about a year but when I started dating Sophie i definitely had some trust issues and she's really helped me work through them and heal. 44
    via u/EnvironmentOwn4681

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