25 Hilarious Motherhood Tweets That Capture the Trials and Tribulations of Raising Tykes and Tots

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    Satirical Mommy @Satirical Mommy 000 SATIRICAL MOMMY Before kids, I didn't understand the expression "I can't hear myself think." I get it now...
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    Satirical Mommy @Satirical Mommy SATIRICAL MOMMY 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when you're supposed to be mad
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    redyellowgreendance ✓ @RYGdance @redyellowgreendance I don't know who needs to hear this, but the worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that you like how they're playing nicely together.
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    @redyellowgreendance "Mommy, where's that toy I got in a birthday party goody bag last summer that I never cared about until right now?" - My son at 6:32am on a Saturday
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    Mom TruthBomb the Mom Truth Bomb @momTruthBomb One of the most exciting things that can happen to a parent is one of their kid's activities getting canceled at the last minute. @momtruthbomb
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    Mom TruthBomb the Mom Truth Bomb @momTruth Bomb Most of adulthood is just saying "I'll get to that other thing when life finally settles down and gets back to normal after THIS thing" over and over but nothing ever settles down and there @momtruthbomb is no normal.
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    The ParentNormal PARENTNORMAL @ParentNormal If you think texting and driving is dangerous, you don't want to know how dangerous it is to be parenting and driving.
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    Kristen | Driving Mom Crazy @DrivingMomBlog All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.
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    Mom the Mom Truth Bomb TruthBomb @momTruthBomb Me before kids: My mother must be going crazy. How can she buy something, bring it home, and then have no clue where she put it?! @momtruthbomb Me after kids: Oh.
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    When my 11 year old shows me all the stuff I got wrong on the math I helped her with @alyceoneword SUPER
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    Satirical Mommy @SatiricalMommy SATIRICAL MOMMY I worry about not giving my kids enough attention. I worry about hovering too much. I worry I'm not exposing my kids to enough. I worry about exposing them too soon. I worry they won't make enough friends. I worry they'll make the wrong friends. Good thing parenting is easy.
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    Kristen | Driving Mom Crazy @DrivingMomBlog Well, well, well, if it isn't the exact duplicate of me as a child that's shown up for me to raise.
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    Kristen | Driving Mom Crazy @DrivingMomBlog I don't know what stage of parenting it's called when your kid corrects everything you say all day long, including informing you it's 9:01 instead of 9:00, but I'm not into it.
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    SARCASTIC Sm MOMMY Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4 I asked my son what time he wanted me to wake him up on the 1st day of school: "6:30, so I have enough time to shower & cry."
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    MODERN MOM PROBS modernmomprobs ❤ Our children may need to hear this more often than you'd realize: We're not trying to change you. We love who you are. We are trying to give you the tools, so you can manage all that life will throw at you.
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    SARCASTIC SM MOMMY Sarcastic Mommy ❤ @sarcasticmommy4 If my kids could just do what I ask & stop complaining about every single thing, I could be the parent I always wanted to be. 001
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    SARCAS Sm MOMMY Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4 *** Welcome back to school-this first week we'll ease back into it! Please bring a family pic, your fav family recipe made, a diorama of your kid's favorite summer activity & a piece of nature for a scavenger hunt. Don't forget to wear red Friday!
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    GARCA SM MOMMY Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4 I hate when I'm forced to choose *** between feeding my family for the week or ordering my son's school portrait package.
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    belindacomedy Kid taking my gmail address "wow! you got your name? how did you do that?!!" I was there when gmail was invented.
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    Annie Way @Anniewritess You might think the important childhood milestones are walking and talking, but they're actually things like "can be left alone for 5 minutes," "can fetch their own snack," and "can puke in a receptacle instead of all over their bed."
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    J. Courtney Sullivan @jcourtsull Got flagged by airport security because my son had a Magic 8 Ball in his backpack. Two TSA agents debated whether it was ok. My husband said, "If only we had a simple way to answer a yes or no question..." Crickets. 6:22 PM 4/19/24 •
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    Satirical Mommy @SatiricalMommy SATIRICAL MOMMY At what age can we be done with gift/goodie bags for kids birthday parties? Do 9/10 year olds really need useless party favors?
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    Satirical Mommy @SatiricalMommy Yo mama jokes hit different when you say them to your kids 00
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    When my husband mentions he bought my favorite snack in front of the kids SATIRICAL MOMMY
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    Satirical Mommy @SatiricalMommy Kid's Birthday, Year 1: Over the top birthday party, photo album, creates video montage. Kid's Birthday, Year 9: *Forgets to ask what kid wants then rushes Amazon Prime overnight. Blows up a balloon.

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