Man Discovers Wife’s Infidelity, Hides it For Months While Collecting Evidence Against Her in Divorce

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Sep 28, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. There's nothing more painful than finding out about your partner's infidelity. No matter how you look at it, it hurts, and it's a stab to your relationship, your trust, and your ego. However, there are certainly levels. And in general, I believe people are defined by how they react to things, how they cope with what they've done, rather than what they actually did. We all make mistakes, we're all human, but it says more about a person when they lack tact or guilt when they make a mistake. 

This brings us to the Reddit thread. It's about a married couple where the woman is having an affair. It's an ongoing thing, which already says a lot about the person. A mistake happens once, and the person usually learns from it and tries to better themselves. Someone who doesn't care about their actions, or how they make someone else feel, is not a good person. She hides it for some time, until her husband finds out. Instead of telling her, he hides it so that he can collect evidence against her in the divorce. Her true colors show when she tries to tell him he doesn't love her and didn't fight for their marriage. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 1 day ago Sweet-Syrup-9739 AITA for becoming indifferent towards my wife after discovering her affair?
    via u/Sweet-Syrup-9739
  • 02
    My (30M) wife (34F) and I have been together for 8 years, 5 of them married. I thought we were the kind of couple that could tell each other any problem. I loved her deeply and always believed she felt the same way about me. Like many couples, we had our ups and downs, but I never thought it could lead to infidelity.
    via u/Sweet-Syrup-9739
  • 03
    4 months ago, I started noticing changes in her behavior. She was more distant, always glued to the phone and avoiding our conversations, you know the typical thing about a cheating person. Well one day, I came across a message on her phone that confirmed what I feared the most: she was seeing someone
    via u/Sweet-Syrup-9739
  • 04
    else. It was like a punch in the stomach. I felt anger, sadness, and an overwhelming sense of betrayal.
    via u/Sweet-Syrup-9739
  • 05
    But instead of confronting her right away, I decided to wait. My main reason was to protect myself in a possible divorce. If I was going to face this situation, I wanted to have solid evidence, so I spent the next two months gathering messages, photos, and anything else I could use if things got legally difficult.
    via u/Sweet-Syrup-9739
  • 06
    During those two months, I pretended normality while the pain piled up. I watched her act like everything was fine, and with each passing day, my feelings for her faded. The love I once felt was replaced by indifference. If anyone says that love for someone doesn't go away, well, it's not entirely true. When I
    via u/Sweet-Syrup-9739
  • 07
    finally gathered all the evidence, I confronted her.
    via u/Sweet-Syrup-9739
  • 08
    I showed her everything I knew, and although she tried to deny it at first, she finally admitted that she had been having an affair. She said it was a mistake, that she still loved me, and that she wanted to work things out. But by then, I didn't feel anything anymore. I didn't scream, I didn't cry, I didn't even get angry. I
    via u/Sweet-Syrup-9739
  • 09
    simply told her that it was okay, that we could get a divorce, and that we could each move on with our lives.
    via u/Sweet-Syrup-9739
  • 10
    My lack of emotion baffled her. She said my indifference was cold and cruel, and that if I had truly loved her, I should have fought to save our marriage, which was ironic coming from her. But the truth was that I did love her, very much. Only after two months of living with the betrayal in silence, I just didn't care.
    via u/
  • 11
    AITAH for becoming indifferent towards my wife after discovering her affair?
    via u/Sweet-Syrup-9739
  • 12
    TheRealOneMexic... • 1d ago NTA, remember this "The only reason she's sorry is because she got caught"
    via u/TheRealOneMexic
  • 13
    1indaT • 1d ago NTA. The indifference you are feeling g is probably a defense mechanism. Don't be surprised if you have a lot of different emotions. Good luck, op.
    via u/1indaT
  • 14
    wellearnednihilism • 1d ago NTA. You're not the for becoming emotionally detached after discovering your wife's affair. Your feelings are a natural response to a profound betrayal of trust. While your wife may have hoped for a
    via u/wellearnednihilism
  • 15
    different reaction, you're not obligated to fight for a relationship that she damaged through infidelity. Your decision to protect yourself legally was prudent. Moving forward, focus on healing and what's best for you. Consider seeking counseling to process your
    via u/wellearnednihilism
  • 16
    emotions and the end of your marriage in a healthy way.
    via u/wellearnednihilism
  • 17
    W... • 1d ago Edited 11h ago NTAH. Ouch, that hurts. You caught her, she's losing her safety net so she's lashing out. She tried all of the standard excuses. Then she tried to flip the script by claiming you never loved her. Good on your for
    via u/W
  • 18
    getting everything lined up before confronting her. Edit spelling
    via u/W
  • 19
    critterguy1955 • 1d ago Cheating is not a mistake. It is a long series of choices with a very predictable outcome. A series of choices such that changing even one of the choices stops the cheating sequence.
    via u/critterguy1955
  • 20
    1. Talking suggestively and flirting with AP. 2. More and more communication with AP over time. 3. Hiding said communications from your SO.
    via u/critterguy1955
  • 21
    4. Detaching emotionally from your SO in favor of AP. More and more thought and effort going to AP and away from SO. 5. Choosing to secretly meet AP. Starting to make out, and get thing moving physically.
    via u/critterguy1955
  • 22
    6. Outright lying to SO about the budding affair. 7. Diverting assets to pay for affair. Money, time, affection, plans, etc. 8. The whole additional series of steps to actually screw the AP. Meeting up. Dinner.
    via u/critterguy1955
  • 23
    Drinks. Motel room. Foreplay. 9. Concocting plausible explanation to explajn missing time to SO. 10. Planning next encounter........
    via u/critterguy1955
  • 24
    Interrupt any of these steps. and the full blown affair is halted (except #10 since it is for continuation after the happening).
    via u/critterguy1955
  • 25
    So--the affair can be called many things, but "a mistake" is not one of them. A mistake is an unplanned event. An affair is certainly not that!
    via u/critterguy1955

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marriage drama relationships lol couples divorce love infidelity breakup reddit thread Reddit funny dating
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