Woman Refuses to Help Foster Parents After They Demand Financial Help, Despite Them Treating Her Like a Servant Growing Up

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Oct 2, 2024 2:00 PM EDT

Welcome back internet enthusiasts. The dynamic between a parent and child should never feel one sided, in the favor of the parents. Parents choose to have children, and children are a product of their parent's parenting. Children don't choose to be born, or to be raised the way they're raised. Keeping this in mind, parents should always realize that if they weren't good parents, they can't expect their children to keep being there for them when they're down. If one doesn't feel their parents have been there for them, there's no incentive to give them the same treatment in return. 

In this Reddit thread, that's exactly what's going on. The original poster (OP) feels as if she's been treated like a servant her whole life by her foster parents. Now that she's out of the house, she's free to do her own thing, and not be bogged down by their negativity. That is until they call her demanding money. She refuses, causing uproar in the family. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    r/AITAH 6 hr. ago Potential_Board_3015 AITAH for refusing to help my foster parents after they treated me like a servant?
    via u/Potential_Board_3015
  • 02
    1 (32F) grew up in foster care, and after bouncing between homes, I ended up with a couple when I was about 12. At first, they seemed alright, but it didn't take long for me to realize that I wasn't really part of the "family". From the day I moved in, I was treated more like a live-in maid than a daughter. They'd make me
    via u/Potential_Board_3015
  • 03
    do all the cleaning, cooking, laundry-you name it. I was the one who scrubbed the floors, cooked their dinners, washed their clothes... even had to iron them to their standards.
    via u/Potential_Board_3015
  • 04
    They didn't even let me have a normal childhood. No after- school activities, no hanging out with friends, and forget dating. I was always told, "You're needed at home," like I was just there to serve them. If I didn't do a good enough job or if I missed something, they'd punish me by giving me more chores or they'd sometimes take food away.
    via u/Potential_Board_3015
  • 05
    Emotionally, they were just cold. They never gave me advice, never helped me with school, and certainly never encouraged me to do better. When I wanted to apply for college, I had to figure it all out on my own. They didn't even help me with applications or support me in any way. I always felt alone in that house.
    via u/Potential_Board_3015
  • 06
    But I worked my off to get out. I managed to go to college, get a good job in marketing, and now I'm doing really well for myself. I've moved on and tried to put it all behind me.
    via u/Potential_Board_3015
  • 07
    A few weeks ago, though, I got a call from my old foster parents. They're struggling now, apparently in debt, and they said they need financial help. They expect me to take care of them because they "raised me". I was furious. I told them after the way they treated me, they have no right to ask for anything. I owe them nothing.
    via u/Potential_Board_3015
  • 08
    They got super upset, calling me ungrateful, selfish, and saying that all the "tough love" they gave me made me who I am today. They're even telling my foster siblings (who they treated way better, by the way) that I'm heartless for abandoning them. And now my foster siblings are piling on, saying I should help.
    via u/Potential_Board_3015
  • 09
    them out and that I'm holding onto the past too much. I don't know... I don't think I owe them anything, but maybe I'm being too harsh? AITAH?
    via u/Potential_Board_3015
  • 10
    InflationLove 6h ago • Sounds like they're still treating you like a servant, just asking for a different kind of help. You're not obligated to give anything, OP.
    via u/InflationLove
  • 11
    Great-Condition... 6h ago The state pays for foster parents to house foster kids like you. You can tell them that's all they get from you.
    via u/Great-Condition
  • 12
    zeugma888 ⚫6h ago Tell them they can come and do your laundry and scrub the floor.
    via u/zeugma888
  • 13
    InflationLove 6h ago • It seems that you are still being treated as a servant, even though they are requesting assistance in a new way. OP, you are under no need to contribute anything. Don't let them depress you; instead, keep moving forward.
    via u/InflationLove
  • 14
    MariaShoy97 6h ago · You're NTA. Your foster parents were abusive. You don't owe them anything.
    via u/MariaShoy97
  • 15
    AdExtreme4813 • 6h ago • Send them a bill for all the years of housework, then see what they say.
    via u/AdExtreme4813
  • 16
    Thiicklolla 6h ago • ΝΤΑ Your foster parents treated you like a servant, not a child, and gave you no real support. You owe them nothing now, especially after all their neglect. Your success is your own, not
    via u/Thiicklolla
  • 17
    because of their "tough love." You're right to protect yourself, and you're not obligated to help people who mistreated you.
    via u/Thiicklolla
  • 18
    • Alicat52 6h ago • NTA. I would also let the fostering agency know what they did and are continuing to do. They should not be allowed to foster any more children.
    via u/Alicat52
  • 19
    Clingylola 6h ago • NTA Your foster parents treated you like a servant, not a child, denying you a normal upbringing and any emotional support. You worked hard to build a better life for yourself
    via u/Clingylola
  • 20
    without their help, so you don't owe them anything now. Their claim that their "tough love" made you who you are is just manipulation, and you're right to refuse. You're not obligated to take care of people who mistreated you, no matter what your foster siblings say.
    via u/Clingylola
  • 21
    stuckinnowhere... 6h ago. Block them for your peace. Change your number if needed.
    via u/stuckinnowhere
  • 22
    Vivian_Pierce • 36m ago • What you went through was not normal or acceptable. You had to fend for yourself and navigate a tough upbringing alone. Their idea of "tough love" was detrimental, and you owe them nothing for the pain they caused.
    via u/Vivian_Pierce
  • 23
    Piano-Beginning • 6h ago • NTA. The only thing you owe them is NOTHING!! They gave you nothing growing up, they get nothing now.
    via u/Piano-Beginning
  • 24
    AstronomerWes... . 6h ago • Nta....I'm sure they were paid money to house u... congrats on getting ur life together and living how u want...ur a credit to ur self and not those self entitled a holes!!!
    via u/AstronomerWes

Tags

family drama drama family feud relationships parenting lol love family reddit thread Reddit funny money dating
Scroll Down For The Next Article