26-year-old single mom living at her parent's home asks to switch bedrooms with her 18-year-old brother for the second time, gets offended when he says no: 'She was meant to be saving for the past year to move out'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Oct 23, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

When I was a student, my biggest fear was being unable to get a postgrad job and being forced to live with my parents. It's not that I don't like hanging out with them, but the guilt and shame of potentially being a leach to the people I had been a leach to for 22 years already enough to motivate me to get gainfully employed. 

While that neurosis plagues me for better or for worse, that doesn't mean that everyone who lives with their parents into their 20s is an unemployed slob who contributes nothing to the household. A lot of people work full-time, live at their parents' house, and don't disturb the peace in their family. It's questionable whether the young mom in this story is doing the latter. She has a 2-year-old and is asking to switch bedrooms with her brother for a second time despite saying she plans to move out. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10419708928
    via Kateryna Hliznitsova (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for telling my sister I'm not swapping rooms with her because she should be moving out soon?
    via u/Professional_Fein752
  • 03
    I 18M was in the car with my mother today and she asked me if my sister had said anything to me about switching rooms. I said no one asked what she meant, and she said that apparently my sister wanted to switch rooms with me soon because my room has a smaller room beside it, and she wanted to use that room for her daughter and then my room for her. My sister is 26 and still lives at home with me and her parents and she also has a two year-old daughter.
    via u/Professional_Fein752
  • 04
    What makes this even more frustrating is that whenever she was pregnant we did actually swap rooms because my room was downstairs so it was more convenient for her and I agreed to swap with her to help her out. So she got what she wanted and now she's asking me to swap with her again.. because shes never satisfied with what she has.
    via u/Professional_Fein752
  • 05
    I am 100% not swapping with her because she's 26 and she was meant to be saving for the past year to move out so there's like zero point in us swapping rooms because she's just gonna move out hopefully soon anyway. And I'm also planning on getting my room painted as well.
    via u/Professional_Fein752
  • 06
    When my mother told me about this I hadn't heard anything about it but right enough whenever we went home my sister actually said to me how would I feel about switching rooms so I obviously said no that I wouldn't not be switching rooms with her, and she actually seems surprised for some reason which I can't understand because I'm not sure why she thought I would be on board with it.
    via u/Professional_Fein752
  • 07
    She asked me why and I told her that I thought she was moving out soon and she acted all offended and was like "oh so you want rid of us" and basically acting as if I heavily insulted her or something. She was also yapping about how she just wants her daughter to have a room beside her as if they would make me feel bad enough to agree with her. I was just straight up and told her it wasn't happening and she had the audacity to call me selfish and was just super ped off at me for some reason lol.
    via u/Professional_Fein752
  • 08
    fiestafan73 If you already swapped with her once and she's not satisfied, that's on her. If she wants more space, she is free to be an actual adult and move out instead of asking a teenager to play musical bedrooms. NTA.
    via u/fiestafan73
  • 09
    Professional_Fein752 OP Exactly lol she got what she wanted to start with
    via u/Professional_Fein752
  • 10
    MzQueenLorelei You helped her out once, and that was generous. You're under no obligation to keep giving up your space, especially when she should be moving out soon.
    via u/MzQueenLorelei
  • 11
    MarionWesly His sister is a grown adult who should be prioritising her own housing situation. OP don't need to keep giving up his space for her. She can figure out another solution.
    via u/MarionWesly
  • 12
    ratchetology she is not planning on moving out... but you should
    via u/ratchetology
  • 13
    ProgrammerLevel2829 Consider that the more comfortable she is, the less likely she is to move out.
    via u/ProgrammerLevel2829
  • 14
    Everywh Why say that as if it's a good thing? She's a single mom... why are we trying to make her less comfortable? In this economy, people need support. Especially if she thought she was starting a normal family, set aside her own education and career, and then her baby daddy dipped on her or something. We don't know the whole story. We need to have a little more empathy. Likely whatever she is going through is so much worse than what OP is complaining about. Switching rooms? My siblings and I
    via u/Everywh
  • 15
    yavanna12 Don't get upset when the toddler is next to your room making noise then. Sounds to me they were offering the switch to your benefit
    via u/yavanna12
  • 16
    Buttercup23nz ⚫ 14h ago • I'm not passing judgement either way here, but on the one specific point of 'she's never satisfied': (I hope) she was satisfied when you changed rooms two years ago. However, children, especially young children, are rapidly evolving beasties, and what worked best two years ago is almost definitely not what will work best now...and what will be ideal now will be a nightmare in 10 years time.
    via u/Buttercup23nz
  • 17
    I mean, I get it. My sister started sleeping in Dad's bedroom after he died 3 years ago. I thought it was a bit disrespectful, but, whatever, the bed was comfy, and maybe she needed that closeness to his space to grieve. But then she started referring to it as Her Room. no. I passive-aggressively continued to refer to it as Dad's Room. Last month, my Mum took over care of a teen boy we know who was not in a good home environment. There were 3 bedrooms for him to choose from, and he chose Dad's -
    via u/Buttercup23nz
  • 18
    Expensive_Excuse_597 NTA. You have accommodated your sister once already and now she is back again asking for more accommodation because she has not saved money and has no intention of moving out. She can still use the room beside your room for her daughter and just walk up and down the stairs. However, you should keep in mind that if she does move her child into the room next to you, that will be a big issue with the kid bothering you all the time. You may want to consider that in your decision
    via u/Expensive_Excuse_597
  • 19
    Acrobatic_Passion622 True. And the sister had 6 years as an adult to plan her life before she got pregnant. It's not on OP to keep giving up things for his sister unless he absolutely wish to of his own accord.
    via u/Acrobatic_Passion622
  • 20
    Jerseygirl2468 INFO what do your parent(s) think? It's their house and they paying the bills, it sounds like. are
    via u/Jerseygirl2468
  • 21
    Professional_Fein752 OP My mother actually said the same thing as me in the car. She said she told her she doesn't know why she would want to switch rooms when she's planning on moving.
    via u/Professional_Fein752
  • 22
    1-2-buckle-my-shoes LOL, you're sister is NO way, shape or form planning on moving.
    via u/1-2-buckle-my-shoes
  • 23
    Professional_Fein752 OP Agreed, but my parents don't seem to realise that for some reason.
    via u/Professional_Fein752
  • 24
    Personal_Sprinkles_3 Info: where is the baby daddy??? My personal opinion is that your sister isn't leaving. I say that because my sister also lived at home and got pregnant when I was expecting her to leave (she had actually moved out for awhile before ending back up at home). She never left until her baby daddy's step dad gave them free rent. Kids are expensive and time consuming. She isn't leaving if she isn't out before. I think your parents should start asking her questions if they want/exp
    via u/Personal_Sprinkles_3
  • 25
    Professional_Fein752 OP They're still friends or some I don't know. They see him like I think once a month or once every 2 weeks
    via u/Professional_Fein752
  • 26
    Personal_Sprinkles_3 Does he pay support? That'd make it more likely she'll actually leave. Also, does she have a decent enough job to have a kid? They're expensive and her having to save to move out and now having a kid makes me feel like she isn't exactly rolling in dough.
    via u/Personal_Sprinkles_3
  • 27
    Professional_Fein752 OP Pretty sure he gives her like $100 a week or something. I'm not sure the exact amount but he definitely gives her money on a weekly basis I think And I don't really know. She works full time so kind of yes
    via u/Professional_Fein752
  • 28
    StAlvis NTA Yes? she acted all offended and was like "oh so you want rid of us"
    via u/StAlvis

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