Woman Clashes with Parents Over Wedding Guest List as They Insist On Inviting Distant Relatives, She Considers Elopement

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  • 01
    r/AITAH u/itsyourglittergal • 10h AITAH for refusing to let my parents dictate my wedding guest list after they invited people I've cut off?
  • 02
    I (28F) am getting married to my fiancé, and we've been planning for months. It's supposed to be the happiest time of my life, but lately, it's been nothing but stress. My parents have been very involved, which I initially appreciated, but it's gotten out of hand. They've started dictating who should and shouldn't be on the guest list, even though I've made it clear that I want a small, intimate wedding with only people I'm comfortable with.
  • 03
    The real problem started when they insisted on inviting distant relatives I haven't spoken to in years, including an aunt and uncle who emotionally abused me as a child. I've cut ties with them for my own mental health, but my parents won't accept it. They're furious that I want to exclude them and are making me feel like I'm being unreasonable.
  • 04
    It didn't stop there. They've also tried to add family friends I've never been close to and who I don't want at my wedding. I explained that I didn't feel comfortable with these additions, but my mom has been crying, saying I'm ruining the family reputation. She keeps saying, "It's not just your wedding, it's a family celebration." Meanwhile, my dad is saying that I'm being selfish and that I'm "only thinking about myself."
  • 05
    I'm torn because I want to stand my ground, but I'm feeling incredibly guilty. They've done so much for me over the years, but at the same time, I feel like this is *my* day and that I should have the right to choose who's there.
  • 06
    Now, my parents are threatening to pull out of the wedding entirely if I don't agree to their guest list demands, and I'm left wondering if I'm being too harsh. Should I compromise and let them invite these people, or is it reasonable to want my wedding to reflect my wishes? AITAH for refusing to let my parents control my guest list? 1,097 774 D
  • 07
    shainnyshai 10h NTA. It's your wedding, not theirs, and you deserve to feel comfortable on your day. Inviting people who've hurt you just to please your parents isn't fair. Set your boundaries, and if they can't respect them, that's on them, not you. Stand your ground! Reply 1.4k
  • 08
    sikonat 9h If your parents want a family celebration there's nothing stopping them from throwing their own party. Tell them that. And then cancel your plans to elope somewhere. 842
  • 09
    xGlimmerGoddess • 9h I agree. This is your special day, and you deserve to have it the way you want, surrounded by people who bring you joy and peace, not those who have hurt you. It's important to set those boundaries, even if it's difficult, and if your parents can't respect that, then that's their issue, not yours. Stand strong and don't feel guilty for putting your needs first OP. NTA ← 36
  • 10
    DontWasteMyTime2121 10h Elope and be done with it. ... ← Reply 236
  • 11
    sikonat • 9h As soon as family start pressuring the couple and won't let up. Eloping is the best advice. 63
  • 12
    meiuimei_ • 3h Another idea is not to invite parents and just keep the date hidden from them and they can organize their own 'family celebration' for their reputation on some other day. ... ← & ↑ 8 ⇓
  • 13
    Wise Owl Poker $ 10h NTA. Well, I guess the guest list just got a lot smaller. Don't let your family blackmail you. Only and scumbags blackmail people. I'm sorry your parents are bunch of scumbags.
  • 14
    My advice. Don't ever let anyone blackmail you. Call them whether they're bluffing or their bluff and f not. Best of luck. I hope you have an amazing wedding with no scumbags. ← ☑ Reply 61
  • 15
    BOOBOOP4nd4Fck • 3h . That's my thought too, let your parents stay home and have the small intimate wedding you want. I'm amazed/floored by the amount of posts where future brides especially are coming here to ask if they're being the AH for wanting one day where they are fully allowed to be "selfish" and do what THEY want. ... Д + 3 ↓
  • 16
    shainnyshai 10h NTA. This is your wedding, and you have every right to set boundaries, especially if it involves people who've caused you harm. Your parents are prioritizing their image over your comfort, which isn't fair. Stand firm; you deserve to have the day reflect what you and your fiancé want. Reply 58 ⇓ ↑
  • 17
    Foreign-Marsupial-22 • 10h The real question to me is: who is paying the wedding? are they paying or are you and hubby paying? because if they are, they def have a say in the guest list. otherwise, it's totally up to you.
  • 18
    I got married last year and i also wanted a small ceremony. My mom started adding random people to the guest list (like her cousins, her friends and so on) but kinda was expecting me to pay. i told her: if you pay for them they are welcome. otherwise it will be my guest list. guess what? i only had my guest list at my reception. my money, my choice. that's it that's all. ← Reply 25
  • 19
    MildLittlRain 8h NTA your parents seems to have guilt tripped you all your life if you feel like that. Your mom is toxic an manipulative and your dad is a j . Your wedding, your rules, and maybe you're better off without them there. If they cross libes again, just elope Reply 6
  • 20
    misteraustria27 • 4h NTA. And time to call your parents bluff. Tell them that they are free to stay home. If inviting people who don't want at your wedding is more important than being part of their daughter's wedding than it is their choice to make. ... Reply 5 B
  • 21
    Colton-Landsington86 • 8h Think of the wedding as you being free from this. ... Reply Д 2 ♡
  • 22
    Spectre777777 • 8h NTA. It'd really hurt their reputation if people find out they weren't at their own kids wedding ... Reply Ŵ 2 ♡ & 쇼
  • 23
    Bethsmom05 • 6h NTA. Your parents are making your wedding about them. That's not okay. ... ← Reply ↑ 2 ♡

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