Man Demands $500 For Returned Birthday Gift From Wife, She Refuses, Causing Marital Strains

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Nov 18, 2024 2:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. We all love a story about marriage, money, and the intricacies of a couple's personal life. As the holidays approach, gift giving has entered the forefront of our brain. What we'll get someone, how much we're willing to spend, who we're going to buy for – they're all questions that spring up at the most random moments of our day. But we all understand the tact and protocol about receiving gifts, meaning the social mores involved. 

This brings us to the Reddit thread. In this story, it centers around a married couple and a birthday gift. The original poster (OP) is a woman who bought her husband an expensive accessory for his bike, costing $500 in the end. He was clearly disappointed about the gift, and instead of feigning appreciation, he told her to return it, and give him the $500 instead. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 20 hr. ago Zealousideal-Mix6580 AITAH for refusing to : give my husband the cash I got back from a present he asked me to return?
    via u/Zealousideal-Mix6580
  • 02
    For context, my husband 46yo got into a terrible cycling accident last year. He suffered from a punctured lung requiring a chest tube, 3 broken ribs and a broken clavicle. He spent 5 days in the hospital. It was really scary for all of us. He is finally back on the bike and training again. The kids and I worked really hard for his birthday present this year, we
    via u/Zealousideal-Mix6580
  • 03
    wanted it to be something to recognize how proud we were of him getting back on the bike. It's important to mention that when asked what he wanted for his birthday he would tell us "I don't need anything".
    via u/Zealousideal-Mix6580
  • 04
    We (by we I mean me because our kids are both under the age of 7) got him a Garmin Varia, which is a bike radar and camera that provides a taillight, visibility to approaching cars and notifies the biker of approaching cars. Total cost was $500
    via u/Zealousideal-Mix6580
  • 05
    We gave it to him last night and it was pretty obvious he did not want it. This morning he asked me to return it. I'm pred about his ungrateful reaction but that's another conversation.
    via u/Zealousideal-Mix6580
  • 06
    Later on today he informs me that he will just take the $500 cash amount as his present instead. I told him h I no. He doesn't want the gift, fine, but I'm not giving him the money especially with how ungrateful he was for the original gift.
    via u/Zealousideal-Mix6580
  • 07
    He's saying I'm the a hole, and that it's his gift and therefore his cash. So AITAH for not giving my husband the cash that I'm getting back for returning the gift he didn't like?
    via u/Zealousideal-Mix6580
  • 08
    AlkalineDrillBre... 19h ago • As a cyclist myself, I'm confused why he wouldn't want that rear camera for extra insurance. Especially after being in an accident.
    via u/AlkalineDrillBre
  • 09
    • yavanna12 18h ago INFO: is this normal behavior for him or have you seen shifts in personality since his accident?
    via u/yavanna12
  • 10
    BeachinLife1 • 20h ago • Top 10% Commenter Nah, just remind him that he "didn't need anything."
    via u/BeachinLife1
  • 11
    garyoliver917 • 17h ago Why is no one asking WHY he didn't want the gift?
    via u/garyoliver917
  • 12
    WomanInQuest... • 20h ago • Top 10% Commenter NTA - it WAS his gift until he refused it and told you to return it. Then it was yours to do with as you saw fit. I think the doctors missed that stick that's still up his a__.
    via u/WomanInQuest
  • 13
    Frankifile • 20h ago Top 10% Commenter There is a graceful way of turning down a much thought out gift. He could have graciously accepted the gift thanked you and your children then told you later what he thought would be more useful to him.
    via u/Frankifile
  • 14
    He didn't, he behaved rudely and told you to return the gift. You've done just that. You don't owe him the money.
    via u/Frankifile
  • 15
    My SIL made a massive song. and dance about gifts, rejecting very thoughtful gifts, then demanding the same thing she refused to accept. We give her £50 gift voucher for a shop she used to moan about not getting gift vouchers for. Keeps the work and money down for
    via u/Frankifile
  • 16
    us. It's her loss. And she's vey aware of it but has no come back. She tried to retaliate by ignoring my husband (her brothers) and kids on their birthday and Christmas entirely, but I honestly welcome the silence and no drama.
    via u/Frankifile
  • 17
    Couette-Couette • 20h ago • Top 10% Commenter NTA as he doesn't need anything
    via u/Couette-Couette
  • 18
    MegaJONATRON • 13h ago • So he gets nothing for his birthday? Are you sure he's really ready to be back on the bike? Because maybe he's still scared and not ready to bike again and doesn't want a biking equipment
    via u/MegaJONATRON
  • 19
    So basically his first birthday after a traumatic bike accident he gets either a biking equipment or nothing
    via u/MegaJONATRON
  • 20
    LakeGlen4287 • 18h ago Top 10% Commenter I am thinking the Varia bike radar was triggering for him, too close to the topic of his near-fatal cycling accident that caused him so much physical and emotional pain. I think you should consider that while you meant well,
    via u/LakeGlen4287
  • 21
    this might have been a miscalculation on your part. If he has to give back not only the gift but also the money, he will be getting no birthday gift from you at all, which seems harsh given what suffering he has so recently been through.
    via u/LakeGlen4287
  • 22
    Maybe cut him some slack for not reacting well. A nice compromise, you could suggest a different way to celebrate his birthday using the money. For example, maybe $500 would get you two a night away with a babysitter for the kids, or a day trip with them,
    via u/LakeGlen4287
  • 23
    like a day at an amusement park, or walking tour in the hills, nice dinner or show, or a pro sports day at the arena, or other family activity together that you all would enjoy, whatever that may be. Sending him and you the best.
    via u/LakeGlen4287

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