'Your boss doesn't have your back': Clingy coworker shocks employee by talking to their manager to get them to drive together to work event

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Dec 10, 2024 5:00 PM EST

This worker has been dealing with a stage-5 clinger who's now escalating things even further. 

Workplace friendships can be hard to navigate at times. When you're spending 40+ hours each week with the same people, you tend to get to know them on a personal level as well as just talking about job stuff. You might get the insider scoop on one coworker's marriage drama, or maybe you'll learn about another person's ongoing feud with their neighbor next door. You probably know a ton of information about your work bestie's spouse, even if you've literally never met that spouse. You can easily get enmeshed in people's lives, and it makes the work week go by faster. 

However, a good percentage of people only come to the workplace to do their work and then head home. For whatever reason, they're focused on their job. With this type of coworker, no matter how badly you want to be friends, you'll get strongly rejected. And, as this person explained in their own story about a coworker being too friendly, sometimes HR needs to get involved to settle things in a way that works for both colleagues. 

Next, read about the reasons these CEOs ran their companies into the ground, like one boss who realized that "Almost 3/4 of the employees had quit by this point because paychecks kept bouncing."

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  • 01
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    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Clingy coworker is going to ruin my upcoming work event I work on the second floor, my clingy coworker works on the third floor. All floors are invited to a work event in december. There will be powerpoints looking back on the past year and future goals for 2025 etc. and there will be food.
    via u/inieminie1234
  • 03
    The second floor (my floor about 18 people) will be going there in some seperate cars. We already discussed who will be driving and who is taking who with them and everyone is very excited about it. My clingy coworker walked in on friday and in front of my team asked me: "I heard about the event and was thinking... we could go together, just the two of us"
    via u/inieminie1234
  • 04
    I was shocked. Even one of my coworkers thought it was weird because it is a whole company thing and every single department is going. So i said "no, we're going with everybody here, not just us two" She looked pl ed. "But I can pick you up and we'll drive there together?" I said "No we already arranged cars and everything, you should ask what arrangements were made on your floor to get there" She kinda got
    via u/inieminie1234
  • 05
    this blank look on her face. Walked out... came back some minutes later with a huge creepy grin on her face: "I just talked to your manager and i signed up for the car your going with :)" I couldnt even say anything I was so angry. The coworker who will be driving gave me this dirty look because he doesnt like her either. So later I talked to my manager; he said she told him she was being bu ied on her floor and asked if
    via u/inieminie1234
  • 06
    she could drive there with people from our floor.... preferably...in..the...car......was taking. The most frustrating thing is; My manager knows about the situation I told him she doesnt leave me alone, but he said he felt sooooo bad for her because she says she is being bu ied. :( I was looking forward to the event but now I dont even want to go anymore... she wont leave me alone and coworkers dont like her
    via u/inieminie1234
  • 07
    so they will get out of my way too. Somebody already told me this. :'( I dont know what to do anymore. Any tips? [UPDATE] Thank you for all your advice and responses. I feel so spoiled because here's what happened today. The guy who's going to drive took matters into his own hands because it is his car and he was fed up nobody discussed this with him first. In the email he explained he only
    via u/inieminie1234
  • 08
    wants to take me and another coworker because we live very close to him. He adressed her and her manager to see if there are other possibilities for her with their coworkers and was very sweet about it. She didnt respond yet but her manager did and said they were going to discuss transport/carpool options and it wont be a problem for her to get there. (Fingers crossed omgg hahahha)
    via u/inieminie1234
  • 09
    * about the bu ying; she told my boss she didnt get along with anybody, couldnt find any connections on her floor. So bu ying was not the exact term but he called it that. He felt bad about her not getting along with anybody. She is very vocal about not getting along with anybody there so its not secret. *I do have empathy for her please don't get me wrong I just dont want her forcing herself into my plans.
    via u/inieminie1234
  • 10
    I will clear to her in the future you guys helped me a lot how to a approach this. Much love <3
    via u/inieminie1234
  • 11
    DarthKiwiChris You and the driver make it clear to the manager that you aren't taking her as the manager can not impose people on private cars. The manager can make another option.
    via u/DarthKiwiChris
  • 12
    Additionally, you tell the manager you are not interested in that workers issues, or whether the manager feels sorry for them. Do not send that worker to you
    via u/DarthKiwiChris
  • 13
    mdsnbelle Now that your manager has decided to make driving her to an event off site in a private car required, you need to involve HR. This Single White Female act has gone on long enough and it's impacting your work. You've tried to be nice, but she's crossed to creepy territory.
    via u/mdsnbelle
  • 14
    Send her an email copying your manager going all the way up the chain and make it clear that your relationship is work related and work related only. You are not friends, just colleagues, and your interactions have gone way beyond what you are comfortable with. Be very clear that the request to drive her just her and you was inappropriate
    via u/mdsnbelle
  • 15
    and that you said no. And then going to your manager to request that she be moved to your car was the last straw. You are being harassed and your boss doesn't have your back. In fact, he sounds like the teacher who sticks the sweetest, quietest girl in class next to the biggest problem and makes her deal with it.
    via u/mdsnbelle
  • 16
    If this is a cycle you're familiar with, maybe it's time to end it now.
    via u/mdsnbelle
  • 17
    ParcelPosted I've dealt with this a few times and just shook one off. Sadly these people have very poor social skills and little to no connections outside of work. You have to be unwavering in your ending the personal connection. Not usually easy because as human beings, being cordial with others comes naturally. But they
    via u/ParcelPosted
  • 18
    see it as an invitation into your world. This might require you to say in a very public work space "Gail the Snail I need to redefine the boundaries we have at work. Moving forward I will only be able to connect on work product. related matters. My career is important to me as are my goals here. I request you respect this boundary." Or something similar.
    via u/ParcelPosted
  • 19
    I recently had to do this with a clinger that thinks every person that hurts her feelings should be reported to HR. I wish I was making that up.
    via u/ParcelPosted
  • 20
    Glittering Can... You shouldn't need to say this but point out to your manager what this would look like if it was a male insisting you two drive alone and then go behind backs to be placed in a private car that you are travelling in.
    via u/GlitteringCan6448
  • 21
    Then tell him this incident was witnessed by a lot of people and you're more than happy to make it a really serious issue if they aren't going to take it seriously. Keep in mind your manager won't know whats inside your head, if you present calm and confident that's what he is going to respond to.
    via u/GlitteringCan6448

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