‘I’ll just get the kids a new mom’: Man Refuses to Share Fatherly Title With Ex-wife’s New Husband, Tries to 'Make it Even' By Suggesting Remarrying

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    There is a growing tension between us because they have said I need to start calling Jeff 'dad' to the kids faces. Like saying you're going to your mom and dad's house or going home to mom and dad. Instead of saying mom and Jeff. They say I should include Jeff in all parenting discussions. I should run things
  • 02
    r/AITAH • 19 hr. ago ArmadilloFlat6290 AITA for not treating my kids' stepdad as their second dad or encouraging them to?
  • 03
    My ex-wife and I share two children. Our son is 9 and our daughter is 7. When our daughter was 8 weeks old my ex told me she was done with our marriage and wanted to divorce. A year later, and before our divorce was finished, she started dating her husband Jeff. I do suspect they were dating before this and that
  • 04
    was why she suddenly decided she was finished with our marriage but I have no proof and I'm not going to start a war over it either. I don't think it would do any good for my kids.
  • 05
    I can't say I have ever wanted my kids to call Jeff dad too or to call us both their dads. I have never said anything about this to my kids. I would never stop them if they did call him dad sometimes. From a young age they called him Jeff and say he's their stepdad to others. That has not changed.
  • 06
    This has bothered my ex and Jeff over the years. Particularly when my kids get family tree assignments for school or get asked to write about their family. They don't add Jeff to their family tree and when they talk about him in assignments about family they call him Jeff. They do seem to like/love Jeff and the
  • 07
    relationship is good. Which at least he treats them good and they feel that way.
  • 08
    But it's not enough for them and my ex and Jeff have been telling me I need to start sharing Father's Day with them or giving them the Saturday before to celebrate with Jeff. With Mother's Day/Father's Day, per our parenting plan, my ex gets the kids all Mother's Day weekend and I get them all Father's Day weekend. So
  • 09
    Saturday and Sunday. This is something they feel has been unfair to Jeff and I said my ex should share Mother's Day weekend with him if they feel like this.
  • 10
    There is a growing tension between us because they have said I need to start calling Jeff 'dad' to the kids faces. Like saying you're going to your mom and dad's house or going home to mom and dad. Instead of saying mom and Jeff. They say I should include Jeff in all parenting discussions. I should run things
  • 11
    by him and not just my ex. I should call us the parental unit and not just me and my ex. They said I should be encouraging the kids to embrace him fully as the third parent and second dad. And I said no. I told them that won't happen. They told me Jeff has been there since they were very young and he sees them 50% just
  • 12
    like me and I need to accept the kids have two dads. I said I accept how the kids feel but I won't encourage them to feel that way.
  • 13
    Jeff told me I was petty and that just because they provide them with a real family unit and I provide them with a single parent household doesn't mean I get to be that way. He also told me he disliked me for putting the kids through that and how he wishes they were his so I would go away.
  • 14
    I told him to keep wishing because they're not. My ex told me to think about if I di d tomorrow and wouldn't I want them to still have a dad. I asked her if she wanted me to go out and find them a new mom just in case. She got ped at me for that.
  • 15
    They told me I'm not putting the kids first and I'm an AH for not lifting up Jeff as a dad. AITA?
  • 16
    viperspm 18h ago • You sure Jeff isn't actually dad to the youngest kid? Maybe thats why they are so weird about it? NTA. You sound rational AF with all this
  • 17
    Dreamy Daysie • 18h ago • NTA. Jeff needs to stay in his lane. Being a good stepdad doesn't mean replacing you, and your kids clearly know who their dad is. You're respecting their feelings and letting them define their relationships. That's real parenting.
  • 18
    Ornery-Platyp... • 18h ago • Top 1% Commenter NTA. It sounds like Jeff and your ex are wanting to impose their need for validation/emotional expedience on your kids. If the kids organically grow to see Jeff as a second father over time, it's one thing...this is not that.
  • 19
    Odds are, the ex is pushing this and 'ol Jeff is going along trying to keep his household's peace stable.
  • 20
    Awkward-Touri... • 18h ago Top 1% Commenter Making your kids call Jeff dad sounds like parental alienation to me. It might be time to see a lawyer.
  • 21
    HacelHarmony • 17h ago • NTA. Jeff sounds like he's trying to force a role that the kids clearly don't see him in. You're respecting their feelings and their choice to call him Jeff. That's putting the kids first, not Jeff's ego.

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