Woman finds out that boyfriend’s ‘online friends’ are not real, he gaslights her when confronted over pretending to be 3 different people in group chat: ‘I’m so creeped out!’

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jan 7, 2025 8:00 PM EST

Welcome, tea-spillin sisters. Have you ever been catfished? The term refers to when people assume fake online personas with the intention of fooling other intnernet users. Some catfishers do it for attention and affection, and others do it to manipulate victims into sending them money or gifts. Internet catfishers might use fake pictures and personal details of real people to create convincing profiles in order to lure unsuspecting victims. Online dating apps are rife with these tricksters. While most instances of catfishing take a romantic angle, nefarious individuals on the web can also trick people into forming seemingly innocent friendships.

In our story today, a woman comes to find out that the people she has been in an online group chat with are not real individuals at all — they are all characters created by the same person: her boyfriend. He had created multiple fake profiles with hundreds of followers, pictures, and even fake comments, and he had played the part of no less than three personalities in a private group chat for the entirety of the relationship. Get all the details of this crazy story by scrolling down. 

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  • 01
    فالـ E "I stumble across, first of all, follower bot sites and also him logged in and chatting with me as one of the individuals I thought I had become close with, and I just got this sinking feeling. I didn't jump to the idea that they could be fake, either. I was like, maybe he just has their log ins since they're all close." N
    via pixelshot
  • 02
    r/AmlOverreacting u/Mindless_Tennis_4045⚫ 3d Am I overreacting after I found out my boyfriend's online "friend group" I became part of 2 years ago has been JUST him the whole time?
    via u/Mindless_Tennis_4045
  • 03
    i just want to know why when it finally came time for the Hawaii trip, how were you going to explain that?? what were you thinking You know something I've noticed about you? You can never just be calm, and there always has to be an issue. I know you were raised in a volatile environment and still have to relearn a lot about healthy relationship dynamics, but it's like you thrive on chaos. only. And we were gonna see wicked tonight. Pfft I guess there that goes. you can't be serious. i deserve an
    via u/Mindless_Tennis_4045

    I really don't have anything witty or snarky to say about this; I am in shock!

  • 04
    I guess I should've been less oblivious, but since a little before we started dating in 2022 I was added to my boyfriend's (just friend at the time) three person instagram group chat with what he explained. were some of his closest online friends. The two other accounts seemed like real people because they had real followers and comments on their posts, and drastically different aesthetics/looks to them.
    via u/Mindless_Tennis_4045

    Everything checked out at first.

  • 05
    We eventually made a discord server for us and that alone was convincing enough since multiple times we'd all be active at the same time. We never voice chatted but I used to never voice chat either, so I didn't think twice. The group got closer though as more and more time passed since I was first added to their group chat, and last month we got together and planned a research TRIP TO HAWAII for August (we live on the East coast of the US). Like we booked everything!
    via u/Mindless_Tennis_4045
  • 06
    So imagine my surprise when I'm over at his house tonight and his computer is open and I just want to log into my google docs when I accidentally stumble across first of all, follower bot sites, and also him logged in and chatting with me as one of the individuals I thought I had become close with, and just got this sinking feeling. I didn't jump to the idea that they could be fake either, I was like, maybe he just has their logins since they're all so close and is
    via u/Mindless_Tennis_4045

    This was so meticulously orchestrated that it has to point to some sort of mental illness. 

  • 07
    way too interested in their messages, but then I noticed their only chats were the group chats and the server, and the real kicker was the email address it was signed up under was his backup email with his full name. I quite literally snooped until he got out of the shower and caught me, which I'm not saying was right of me but I couldn't help myself. During my snooping I gradually became devastatingly confident that he wasn't behind just one but both accounts.
    via u/Mindless_Tennis_4045
  • 08
    I've never seen his face so red and he just absolutely panicked and started shouting at me to get out of his business. I couldn't even form the right words to say to him, in the end I just walked out of his apartment sobbing.
    via u/Mindless_Tennis_4045
  • 09
    It's very early in the morning, I get that, but this screenshot is what he has to say and I'm starting to feel crazy. Am I overreacting about my discovery? 65.3k 7,102 31 ☑
    via u/Mindless_Tennis_4045

    This man is a master manipulator. When the ruse was up, he started deflecting to make her feel like she was somehow in the wrong — and it almost worked!

  • 10
    danielric3 3d . yeah this is... not okay. i'm blown away that this is actually real because what?? how could someone do that to you, your partner of all people, and like was he ever planning on telling you or just letting it ride out? what does he gain from this? so many things running through my mind but the most disgusting factor is how he responded to it and it honestly sounds so manipulative and like he's deflecting instead of owning up to his actions. I'm sorry that you're going through thi
    via u/danielric3
  • 11
    AttackOfTheMonkeys • 3d Letting it ride out, I mean what was the end game here I can't even begin to figure that out Like night of the rehearsal dinner? Hey babe, about my groomsmen they were driving here and all died in a freak accident involving a flock of geese it's killing me oh well show must go on 1.1k
    via u/AttackOfTheMonkeys

    Like the author of a horror novel, he would have to off them one by one to keep up the ruse. Or maybe he'd hire actors to play the part during special events.

  • 12
    anneofred. 3d The "why" is my biggest question here. Pathological liars though, there's typically no real/ logical reason. 3 4.1k
    via u/anneofred
  • 13
    Concrete Blonde ⚫ 3d He's so insecure that he needed another angle into her life. He probably has trust issues and was prying for information by pretending to be a friend. ... 8 429
    via u/Concrete__Blonde

    This makes so much sense. 

  • 14
    Ok_Formal_9870 • 3d 'you need to learn about healthy relationship dynamics' lol. Says the guy who's also two other fake people. For real though he is genuinely gaslighting you. When you say in your post you feel crazy that's what he's going for. He'd rather you feel that way - that, for him, would be better than taking responsibility for lying to you. F him. 21 14.4k
    via u/Ok_Formal_9870
  • 15
    flower_catt⚫ 3d You're not overreacting. That's insane. 510.3k
    via u/flower_catt
  • 16
    Sir_Bumcheeks • 3d Plot twist, there is no girlfriend and this is the dude on his 4th account. 16 6.2k
    via u/Sir_Bumcheeks
  • 17
    psychoquack_ • 3d You are NOT overreacting at all. This is so messed up. I'll try to give my input as a neurodivergent person who had a problem with lies in the past, when I was a teenager/young adult. People here have already pointed out that tiny lies tend to snowball into gigantic lies and that is so true. People also mentioned he could have started this because he has no friends and wanted to impress you and then it got out of hand and that is also a possibility. BUT: his response on that te
    via u/psychoquack_

    This wasn't a white lie that got out of hand, it was a deliberate manipulation planned in order to 

  • 18
    Personal input: I have started tiny lies when I was really young because I wanted to fit in or be perceived as a "cool" person. I was really REALLY insecure and my life was very boring, I had no sense of self at all and didn't seem to be very interesting so whenever I met people that I REALLY liked and wanted them to like me, I'd do some stupid sh like that, lie about something to make me look interesting. I was a very good liar and could easily make it seem real for years if I wanted to.
    via u/psychoquack_
  • 19
    But one day I fell in love with a girl and although I did not "create" any lies to tell her, I had to keep the old ones going because we had mutual friends and worked together. There were 2 lies that I needed to continue telling because of other people we hung out with. 2 months into the relationship I sat with her and told her I needed to confess something and told her ONE of the lies that she believed were true, said I was really sorry
    via u/psychoquack_
  • 20
    and felt really bad about it, explained my reasons and told her it was ok if she didn't forgive me (I had to confess this one because it was about my life and I thought it mattered, I didn't feel good about her believing something that was not true). The other lie I had no courage to confess, but it was not something that directly affected our relationship, it was a stupid thing I said I had done when I was a teenager but I had not.
    via u/psychoquack_
  • 21
    After almost 1 year of relationship she found out about this other old lie too and it broke me. I felt so ashamed of myself and so bad for her. I knew I was breaking her trust and I did not want that because I truly loved her and I had really changed after meeting her (and getting older lol). But the thing is: I FELT DEVASTATED. I felt ashamed, sad, broken, guilty. I told her I was really sorry and I understood I was wrong and insane. I knew she didn't deserve this. I knew I was messed up. I apo
    via u/psychoquack_
  • 22
    Your BF on the other hand, is caught up in a lie AND IS TRYING TO MAKE YOU FEEL CRAZY. Not only he didn't care enough about you to give you an explanation and apology, but he also twisted it BRINGING UP YOUR CHILDHOOD so that you feel like you're crazy and toxic and he is the good guy who is trying to have a healthy relationship. This is narcissistic behavior. Sociopath. This guy does not care about anyone but himself. Run, girl. Run.
    via u/psychoquack_
  • 23
    EDIT: oh my, I did not expect this to blow up. Thank you all for your kind words! ? I am healthy now :) worked on myself after that, got a diagnosis and started therapy. And matured lol. It's been 8 years and I currently have a healthy relationship with myself and others! I'm stable for 6 years now. Haven't quite forgiven myself for hurting her, but learned my lesson and changed my way of living. 20 1.8k
    via u/psychoquack_
  • 24
    eihslia • 3d Good for you taking responsibility and apologizing. As humans, when we are wronged, that's all we want. It would be nice if more people could overcome their shame instead of yelling and using other forms of manipulation. 2160
    via u/eihslia
  • 25
    Temporary-Total-5924 3d My brother years ago used my Facebook to pretend to be me and talk to this girl he liked and hoped to be with for a long time.. He would just talk for hours to her as "me" just talking himself up. Paragraphs upon paragraphs. This is not ok it's sociopathic. 397
    via u/Temporary-Total-5924
  • 26
    ADHDBurnOut18 · 3d NOR that's weird man. Like super weird. Also, he made you think that you were talking to other people and had become friends with them. So he lied to you and now you probably feel betrayed and uncomfortable. I think you may be under reacting honestly. 127
    via u/ADHDBurnOut18
  • 27
    fizzygrrl • 3d Am I understanding this correctly: You, your bf, and these "other friends" were all planning a trip together to Hawaii? Like...what was the plan there? How could he possibly have explained that away??? D 262
    via u/fizzygrrl
  • 28
    nepolyciloc 3d he would probably say at the last moment that they (those other friends) couldn't go because their cat is giving birth or some sh like that lol, this is wild 251
    via u/unepolyciloc

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