Woman caves into mother-in-law's demands to take a paternity test, husband abandons her with newborn until results come back

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jan 6, 2025 5:00 PM EST

Welcome, gossip goddesses. Genetics are a funky thing. When I was a kid, everyone always said that I looked like my dad. I was told that I took after his side, and that I didn't have any of the hallmark traits of my mom's side of the family. I had my dad's dark hair, tan skin, and green eyes.  However, as I grew older and my facial and body features developed, it became clear that I was a carbon copy of my mother despite having the same coloring as my dad. No one could have predicted this change, and the fact that I didn't really look like my mom at first didn't make me any less her daughter.

In our story today, a conniving mother-in-law manages to convince her son that his wife has cheated on him, resulting in a baby that looks far too much like her and not enough like him. Instead of confronting his wife or communicating with her, he abandons her with the newborn for two months until she gives in to pressure to take a paternity test. Get all the details down below.

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  • 01
    "MIL claims that their family genes are super strong and Sophia would have some of Mark's features if she was his. After he was done talking, I couldn't get a word out. I just started crying. It feels like the biggest betrayal that they both accuse me of cheating, and the reason being that my daughter looks too much like me??"
    via inkdrop
  • 02
    r/AITAH u/Strict-Mine-1326 • 18h AITAH for going nc with MIL after she convinced my husband to ask for a paternity test because our baby looks too much like me?
    via u/Strict-Mine-1326
  • 03
    Sorry, this is gonna be a long one. And I apologize in advance for any spelling mistakes, English isn't my first language.
    via u/Strict-Mine-1326
  • 04
    4 months ago me (31f) and my husband <<Mark> (32m) welcomed our first child, our daughter «Sophia». Me and Mark have been together for 10 years, and married 6 years. Getting pregnant wasn't exactly a walk in the park, we were trying for two years before it finally happened, and I miscarried four times during those years.
    via u/Strict-Mine-1326

    What a harrowing experience.

  • 05
    My parents did when I was 15 and I lived with my grandparents until I was 18 and started at college. My MIL has been like a mother to me and had been an amazing support ever since me and Mark got together. She made dinners and called daily to check up on me after the miscarriages! When Sophia was born the first thing MIL did when she came to visit was to check up on how I was doing after the birth before focusing on Sophia. I remember thinking I had the best MIL anyone could ask for.
    via u/Strict-Mine-1326

    Wow, it sounds like her mother-in-law was incredibly supportive during a very difficult time in her life.

  • 06
    She was the first person we told about our pregnancy (at week 18), and she was over the moon about becoming a grandma. The first four weeks after we got home from the hospital she moved in with us to help out with Sophia. She was so helpful and always made sure she didn't overstep in any way. My MIL always talked about how Sophia was a mini version of me, and told everyone about how my daughter was a true copy of me.
    via u/Strict-Mine-1326

    This is too idyllic and perfect and wholesome; I am afraid where this is going.

  • 07
    Mark was in love with our little girl and did everything he could to help out. He came home early everyday to spend as much time as he could with Sophia and me. Everything seemed perfect, this was what we had wanted for so long. All he could talk about was how perfect our little girl was and how much she looked like me. He even found some old pictures of me and made a photo collage of me and her as babies to put on the wall.
    via u/Strict-Mine-1326
  • 08
    After my MIL moved home I think I saw her a couple of times, and would only speak to her if I called her. But tbh I didn't think much of it as I was busy with being a mother. After the first two months Mark started getting more distant and coming home late. He started to spend a lot of time at his mothers house as he said she needed help with some renovations in her house. I appreciated all the help MIL had given us so I decided to not complain about it, even though I was exhausted from never ge
    via u/Strict-Mine-1326

    Something is definitely afoot.

  • 09
    Right after Sophia turned 3 months Mark came home and said we needed to talk. He sat me down and told me he wanted a paternity test, because his mother thinks our child looked too much like me and nothing like him. My jaw was on the floor and I felt something inside me break. He doubled down with saying he agreed with Sophia looking like me and nothing like him and that MIL had told him I probably cheated with someone who has some of the same
    via u/Strict-Mine-1326

    It's not even that the baby looked like someone else or had some sort of genetic trait that couldn't have come from either parent; the sole issue was that the baby looked too much like mom. 

  • 10
    features as me. MIL claims that their family genes are super strong and Sophia should have some of Marks features if she was his. After he was done talking I couldn't get a word out I just started crying. It feels like the biggest betrayal that they both accuse me of cheating, and the reason being my daughter looks too much like me?? He told me he was sorry but his mother got into his head and he couldn't let it go, and it was constantly on his mind.
    via u/Strict-Mine-1326

    Somebody sign this woman up for a basic biology class.

  • 11
    I just felt defeated by the whole situation and agreed to the paternity test. Although I told him that when the test came back telling Sophia is his daughter, I wanted nothing to do with MIL. And we would have to start couple counseling if there was any hope at all for this relationship to be saved.
    via u/Strict-Mine-1326

    She was completely backed into a corner. The two people she depended on the most suddenly accused her of betraying them.

  • 12
    Fast forward to now, the test came back a week ago, and surprise surprise, she is his daughter. He had this look of relief, before the guilt and panic hit him and he started to apologize to me over and over again. I told him he needed to tell his mother and then tell her we needed a break from her. Surprisingly he was all for it and I could hear him. yelling at her for making him doubt me and telling her we didn't want any contact for a while.
    via u/Strict-Mine-1326

    What an absolute noodle of a man.

  • 13
    Mark blocked her number after hanging up so she started to call and text me. It switched from that she was sorry, and I was a horrible for not seeing it from her point of view and taking away her family. I blocked her too, but some of his extended family has messaged both Mark and me calling us cold hearted ah for cutting MIL out the way we have.
    via u/Strict-Mine-1326

    At least Mark is taking accountability now.

  • 14
    I have started to doubt my decision, thinking I was too harsh after being hurt. Maybe I made a mistake by distancing ourselves from MIL, after all she was just looking out for her only son. So Reddit, aita? ↑ 8,820 D 2,213 ☑
    via u/Strict-Mine-1326
  • 15
    girldreamxoxo. 11h Your MIL completely overstepped, sowed unnecessary distrust, and caused significant harm to your marriage. Her "looking out" excuse doesn't justify accusing you of infidelity based on something as superficial as appearance. Going no contact is a healthy boundary after such betrayal, especially when she refuses to acknowledge her actions fully. Focus on repairing your relationship with Mark, and don't let guilt push you into tolerating toxic behavior. ← Reply 2.9k
    via u/girldreamxoxo
  • 16
    deedee7890 · 1d • NTA, but you really need to hold your husband accountable, not just MIL. She might have brought it up, but he ran with it. After years of trying for a baby, he accused you of getting pregnant from an affair, passing off the baby as his, and planning to lie to him for the rest of your life. Personally I wouldn't be able to stay married to someone who suddenly thought so little of me just because of something his mommy said. If you can get past it, you're probably a better person
    via u/deedee7890
  • 17
    Spiritual_Aioli_5021.1d This! That the husband was SO WILLING to believe the worst about her. Also, the MIL's arrogance that the baby MUST look like their side. Like you can't love the baby unless it favors YOUR side of the family?? ?? 2.5k
    via u/Spiritual_Aioli_5021

    The "strong genes" thing is so silly. What if our protagonist's family also has these "strong genes?" I mean the genes clearly duked it out, and there was a winner.

  • 18
    Ofmiceandrobyn • 21h AND the fact that they left her practically alone as a new mother for almost 2 months? She spent almost 2 months probably crying most nights from exhaustion, unknowingly being punished for something she didn't do, and husband isn't to blame for this? He was so quick to believe the worst about her and punish her for it for so long. Absolutely not, he'd be out of my life that instant. 620
    via u/Ofmiceandrobyn

    He basically ghosted her! No communication at all.

  • 19
    20MLSE20 . • 1d Well said. They didn't suggest she cheated they were positive she had cheated with someone with the same features as OP. How isn't that grounds for going no contact &$!#% 309
    via u/20MLSE20
  • 20
    AlternativeLie9486 • 1d Your MIL may be a problem but ultimately your husband went along with it and that is a much much bigger problem. ... Reply 17.6k
    via u/AlternativeLie9486
  • 21
    Vladonald-Trumputin • 1d Sh, if I was you I would've had divorce papers ready to hand him right after he saw the results of the paternity test. And even if I decided to keep his sorry a around for the sake of my daughter, I'd be done with that MIL. It is highly likely that a little girl is going to end up looking like her mom! NTA. Reply 14.5k
    via u/Vladonald-Trumputin
  • 22
    Lumpy_Marsupial_1559 • 1d Can you imagine if this was before DNA testing? Husband would be convinced by his mom that OP cheated, the kid wasn't his, and that would be it. OP would be known as the unfaithful wife for the rest of her life! MIL is an a. 1.9k
    via u/Lumpy_Marsupial_1559

    That is such a scary thought. She would have been exiled and sent to the streets.

  • 23
    DesperateToNotDream • 1d So now your husband feels bad, but not only did he accuse you of cheating, he also spent weeks abandoning you to care for your newborn alone because he didn't believe she was his. Reply 1.2k
    via u/DesperateToNotDream
  • 24
    ON'T HESITATE Sedlium. 1d This right here. The fact he abandoned his newborn for even an hour more than he had to (work) during such a vulnerable time. 342
    via u/Sedlium

    Maybe he just wanted an excuse to take a break from taking care of the baby.

Tags

family drama toxic married with children paternity wife motherhood reddit story relationships husband cheating couples mother in law love infidelity reddit thread newborn Reddit
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