Crafter plans elaborate wedding gift for friend of 6+ years, finds out they're not invited: 'No invitation, no gift'

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Jan 7, 2025 11:00 AM EST

Weddings seem to bring out the absolute worst in some people. At a time that's supposed to be about celebrating your love, a lot of folks find themselves squabbling with everyone else in their life as they plan their big day. 

This friend group has a fun hobby that they share: playing Warhammer. The game features miniature action figures that players can collect and customize. Having a hobby like this is an amazing way to make friends and spend time together. Your group will already have interests in common, and you can rotate between people's homes, giving each friend a chance to host. 

This person thought that they'd found a solid friend group with these Warhammer players, though they admit that they are a "relative newcomer to the group." They're now questioning just how loyal their friend group is to them after discovering some interesting information about one person's wedding plans. Keep scrolling to check out their full story, as well as some good advice from commenters whose hearts went out to this person. 

While we're on the topic of crafting, read about one crocheter who had to deal with a blanket Karen, writing to this woman that, "It's still going to cost you $400." 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10451310592
    via Mathieu Andrieux on Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Am I wrong for dropping out of a project to make a highly personalized wedding gift for a friend after finding out I'm not even invited to said wedding.
    via u/hyruana
  • 03
    My friend of 6+ years is getting married this year and a bunch of our mutual friends invited me to work on a surprise wedding gift for him. We're a bunch of nerds and got into playing Warhammer a few years ago. I mention that because it's relevant, but I'll try to keep this really generalized as I'm sure not everyone reading this will necessarily know all the ins and outs of Warhammer. One
    via u/hyruana
  • 04
    of our mutual friends got the idea to make a diorama out of a bunch of different models with a really big model as the center piece. We're talking about building and painting multiple models from scratch. One of the models is something known as a knight in Warhammer and the actual model is the better part of a foot tall.
    via u/hyruana
  • 05
    Considering everything involved I expect this project to require dozens of hours of my free time. The models, paints, etc. also aren't exactly cheap. And this is all on top of a wedding gift I already got for my friend. Now I've come to find out everyone else involved in this project was invited to the wedding and I wasn't. To provide context, I am a relative newcomer to the group.
    via u/hyruana
  • 06
    My understanding is everyone else have known each other since at least college. I accept that at the end of the day it's his wedding and he can invite whoever he wants and doesn't have to invite me. However, at the same time I can't help but feel a little taken for granted by my other friends who apparently still expect me to contribute to a highly personalized wedding gift
    via u/hyruana
  • 07
    for a wedding I'm not even invited to. I wanna reiterate, this project is gonna take a non-insignificant amount of time and money and is in addition to the wedding gift I already got for my friend personally. Am I wrong for wanting to drop out of the project?
    via u/hyruana
  • 08
    CatMom8787 No invitation, no gift
    via u/CatMom8787

  • A lot of people agreed with this person's sentiment. I think it all depends on how this person's friend broke the idea. If he had told this person directly that they couldn't go to the ceremony, but that they were still happy to have them in the gaming group, maybe the news would've been easier to swallow. But since this person found out through the grapevine that everyone besides them would be attending the wedding, it stings a bit more. 

  • 09
    Orphen_1989 NTA, They are free to invite whoever they want. But if you are not important enough to him for an invite, he shouldn't be important enough to spend so much time and money on a gift for him.
    via u/Orphen_1989
  • 10
    Honestly I am a bit baffled. that the others don't understand this. This smells like they will get the idea to give it at the wedding after the gift is ready. And then they 'accidentally' forget to mention the gift is from you as well. It really feels like they are using you.
    via u/Orphen_1989
  • 11
    hyruana OP Wow, I didn't expect this to get this many responses so soon. I feel like I've been going crazy and have been wondering if I'm just being entitled, but just with the first few response my mind is already feeling at ease. Thank you so much.
    via u/hyruana
  • 12
    AND THEY LIVE happe EVER MR verda EST BOOK S Wedding Day
    via Yomex Owo on Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    Mental_Captain... Does this group know you aren't invited? Not clear why they would ask you to participate unless they think you are.
    via u/Mental_Captain_3292
  • 14
    OverRice2524 If you aren't invited, they don't get a gift from you period. Return the gift you got them, tell the group have fun filling out your portion, and understand you're not a close to person getting married as you thought, then act accordingly.
    via u/OverRice2524
  • 15
    PotatoMonster20 Relative newcomer? That might be a consideration, except that you've been "friends" for more than 6 years. He's had plenty of time to get to know you. He just doesn't like you that much. Not enough to invite you to his wedding, at least.
    via u/PotatoMonster20
  • 16
    Which s ks. I'm really sorry this is happening to you - I've been there. Your other "friends" aren't exactly helping the situation either. So get in touch with the diorama team, through whatever channel you normally use, let them know what's up, and refuse to budge.
    via u/PotatoMonster20
  • 17
    "Hey there, just letting you know that I'll be dropping out of the diorama project. Hope it goes well - it just wouldn't be appropriate for me to contribute to a gift for a wedding I'm not invited to."
    via u/PotatoMonster20
  • 18
    That's it. Stand firm if/when they try to get you to change your mind. It's not happening. If the groom tries to invite you at the last minute? Give your apologies - you have pre-existing plans on that date (even if those plans are just staying at home and watching Di Hard).
    via u/PotatoMonster20
  • 19
    It's a shame you'd already bought the groom a gift. Return or sell it if you can. Or use it yourself/donate it/throw it away. Anything but giving it to him - he doesn't deserve it. It might be a good idea to start distancing yourself from this group. Maybe spending more time with other friends. They seem a little toxic.
    via u/PotatoMonster20

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Tags

action figures marriage warhammer groom bridesmaids figurine gift wedding ceremony wedding family dress weddings friendship friends
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