15-year-old refuses to move states with dad after years of being used as a free babysitter for stepsiblings, dad throws a fit in response: ‘He’s more worried about free childcare than being a dad’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jan 11, 2025 6:00 AM EST

Some parents are not fit to be parents, and they make it highly apparent.

They may not mean to, but since they are not fit to be parents, they make a lot of decisions that are more for themselves than they are for their children. If you ever heard a parent (or at least a good parent) speak about raising children, they will tell you that the first change they've made in their life is to stop thinking selfishly only about themselves, and make every conscious decision solely for the benefit of their kids. People who cannot put themselves aside should ensure they never have to look after another human.

The dad in this story is clearly having a hard time putting his son first and letting go of his own selfish needs. Especially after the son reveals that his dad constantly uses him as a free babysitter for his stepsiblings. The lack of care from the dad drove his son to refuse to move to a different state with him when the opportunity arose, which led to quite a family dispute, mainly between the two.

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    "AITA for telling my dad I'm not moving state with him and his family?"

    My parents got divorced when I (15m) was 7 and my dad got married again 3 years ago. His wife has two little kids with her ex. He visits them twice a year. Even less last year. At my dad's I
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    always had to be able to take care of myself and when his wife's kids came into the house I was expected to babysit and make sure they were taken care of too. It's three hours Monday to Friday when I'm at my dad's.
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    Mom hated it for me as much as I hated it but it wasn't something dad would ever stop even when she talked to him. A judge didn't care when mom told the courts about it because
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    siblings babysitting isn't the worst thing ever. I don't think that's fair because they're not even my siblings and they weren't my stepsiblings when it first started but I guess it doesn't matter.
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    The kids got super attached to me. Dad argued with mom a lot because she wouldn't make me go over to his house on her time to babysit for those three hours. He thought it was
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    for her to get in the way of my time with the kids and he didn't care if I wanted to. So when dad and his wife decided to move states they wanted me to come. The judge
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    said no to that when they asked because he'd be taking me away from mom and I lived here my whole life. The judge said if I wanted to go it would be approved though and mom couldn't stop it.
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    But I don't want to go and I told him that. I told him repeatedly. He told me I should be thinking more about it. That I'm a part of a bigger family and he'd miss seeing me and his stepkids
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    would miss me too. But even when he was telling me that he made it so obvious he'd also miss the babysitting I do for them. He told me to think about the long term and the good
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    stuff the move would make possible. They're moving close to a really good school which dad tried to use to get mom to make me go but she doesn't want to only see me every few months.
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    Dad's throwing such a fit about me saying I won't move because they're going in a couple of weeks and I'm still not. AITA?
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  • It must not be easy to say goodbye to one parent and see them move on with their new family. But as long as the son is happy to stay with his mom, and not to act as the family babysitter anymore, then it seems like everyone made a good decision.

    Maybe the distance will actually do some good for the son and his father, and they might reunite one day. We guess only time will tell…

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    sbg-sbg NTA. Free babysitting is done, dad. Have fun actually paying someone to take care of the kids...
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    Popcornobserver Don't go anywhere! Stop babysitting omg
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    Cheap-Environment233 OP I don't get to stop it. My dad made it one of my chores. But once he moves I won't have to anymore.
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    Cheap-Environment233 OP Yep! I'm so happy it's done in two weeks.
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    LCJ75 Not that much for 3 hours a day. What about his friends and after school activities. He would have to miss all that. Occasionally so the adults can have a night out or for a back to school night but as a daily, unpaid job? No way. Personally, I'd be the worst babysitter ever just to spite.
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    bigchicago04 Despite what Reddit says, it's perfectly normal to expect older siblings to watch younger siblings (even step). However your dad asking you to still babysit while with your mom is ridiculous. NTA at all for not wanting to move from home, as the judge says, it's your choice.
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    Cheap-Environme... OP I was lazy with the food I'd get when I had to babysit. It was never more than a basic sandwich. Sometimes I'd just grab some fruit snacks and that would be it.
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    Radical Damage Actually tell the judge you aren't being paid to babysit bet that puts a stop to it. According to Federal guidelines you aren't allowed to work for free, babysitting is a job not a chore tell your mom if you aren't being paid you don't want to babysit
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    Cheap-Environment233 OP The judge knew but didn't see a problem because dad treated it like a chore I had to do and the judge said that's normal.
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    mcmurrml Will you have to go visit? See my reply above.
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    Cheap-Environm... OP I won't have to go and visit. It's encouraged but not being forced.
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family drama aita baby babysitter kids mother siblings reddit story parenting babysitting family sister Reddit women parents children Father
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