40 Memes to Restore the Balance

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jan 10, 2025 7:00 PM EST

You can't borrow time from yesterday for today, nor can you save today's time for tomorrow. If you've seen the iconic body horror movie The Substance, you know this sentiment to be true. It might sound great to share your body with a hot 20-something-year-old, but 20-somethings don't take care of themselves, don't get enough sleep, and don't return to their 50-year-old bodies after the prescribed 7 days are up, dooming the 50-year-old to a haggard existence as a bald bitty and eventually killing them both. 

Even if you're not taking a black market substance to create a better you, you need to respect the balance. You can drink five cans of Diet Coke in a day, but you better be getting your steps in. If you're partying until dawn on Saturday, you better not RSVP to Sunday brunch at 12 PM. If you want a balanced set of memes, you've come to the right place.

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  • 01
    I'm not self-medicating with chocolate. The lady at the shop wrote me a prescription... Well, she called it a receipt. Whatever.
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 02
    NORMAL DISTRIBUTION PARANORMAL DISTRIBUTION
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 03
    At my age, I can send text at 10:34 and be sleep at 10:35. RR
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 04
    ibets: Reporter wears grape costume to defend boy suspended for banana suit basedheisenberg Real recognizes real.
    via basedheisenberg
  • 05
    Me filling out my self-evaluation form at work: I want to thank me for believing in me,
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 06
    Cats Against Humanity @CatsVsHumanity How to tell you're an adult: you gain 30lbs overnight ⚫you'd rather sleep than go out • everything hurts comfort comes before style ⚫you have a favorite spatula • everything feels like a chore ⚫ college students look like 12yr olds • you're always annoyed af
    via @CatsVsHumanity
  • 07
    This is undoubtedly the most evil costume I have ever seen. I don't know whether to cry or to high five whoever came up with the idea because as a Halloween costume, it's brilliant.
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10452816128
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 09
    Anxiety: "What if this happens?" Me: "But it won't." Anxiety: "But what if it does?" Me: -You got me there
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 10
    me last pringle in the pringles can
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 11
    Me: Do you remember what today is? Husband:
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 12
    The incredible truth about what we eat. ہے ہاہے 400 Calories 400 Calories of Oil of Chicken 400 Calories of Vegetables 400 Calories of Owls 400 Calories of Swords 400 Calories of Saddam Hussein
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 13
    C Consciousness is nature's nightmare
    via dirtyFrenchman

    Clippy knows everything.

  • 14
    Nihilist The lack of external meaning must really make you despair, huh? All alone in an uncaring universe. 1996 Absurdist Actually I'm quite comfortable. P
    via dirtyFrenchman

    It's literally funny.

  • 15
    SALLY JESSY RAPHAEL SALLY JESSY DONATELLO SALLY JESSY MICHELANGELO SALLY JESSY LEONARDO
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 16
    safe Michael James @MikeJamesAuthor My wife makes us put $5 in the "find jar" every time we make her find something we can't locate in the house. After 13 months of saving, today we are buying a Ford Explorer
    via @MikeJamesAuthor
  • 17
    hate your life? try dissociating Pil
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 18
    Dave Levitan @davelevitan.bsky.social [frantically dialing the Dad Joke Hall of Fame] 130 DDYSSEY MY OTHER CAR IS AN ILIAD
    via @davelevitan.bsky.social
  • 19
    the_avocado_mama Them "when did the cough start?" Me "when did school start?"
    via the_avocado_mama

    If you haven't been sick since November 15th, you don't get it…

  • 20
    Me watching Blippi call a hexagon a pentagon PHILADELPHA DELAW YE- I have contained my rage for as long as possible, @anapplehat
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 21
    EUROPE French man wins right to not be ‘fun' at work Going to need this guy's lawyer tonysopranobignaturals Follow #this was so funny bc the actual legal case was that Guy got fired for not going to "mandatory" after hours drinking parties w his boss #(and coworkers) #so he was fired for not upholding "workplace behavioral standards" and failing to perform "required" job duties #in reality the ruling basically said "no your boss can't force you to be their friend or lose your job" LMAO #(it was
    via tonysopranobignaturals

    We all need to take notes from the French.

  • 22
    Existential Comics @existentialcoms Get a job doing what you love and you'll have to work twice as hard for half as much money, because your boss will exploit your passion for profit, and drive you little by little to hate what you once loved.
    via @existentialcoms

    Tale as old as time

  • 23
    babe what's wrong you've barely touched any of your triceramisu
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 24
    nature's harmonious 4-day Time... Follow @Discourse_Stu worst genre of rock song: rock and roll is great best genre of rock song: there's a wizard.
    via @Discourse_St

    Second best genre of rock song: you ain't nothing but a hound dog

  • 25
    Therapist: Do you want your life to be different? Me: Ya Therapist: Then you have to do things differently Me: Wack @futuremindreader
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 26
    1:28 BBB Adam Cerious @Browtweaten = OUR HOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR STREET
    via @Browtweaten

    So long…

  • 27
    There is no god. I agree. Blasfemurs
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 28
    NEW DISCOVERY We have found out why pretzels are shaped like this: boredpanda.com
    via dirtyFrenchman

    Pugzels

  • 29
    50 Nerds of Grey❤ Flippy Time traveler: i love your volcano Pompeian: our what? Time traveler: your mountain, your normal mountain
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 30
    Entomemeology Tai Vorpal Spoon Brown - 6h ⚫ → Forgot the word 'Invertebrate' and instead wrote 'non-spinary'. I blame you all Like Comment Send Share 1.9K
    via Entomemeology
  • 31
    roaringstream I've been trying to leave Rome for a few weeks now, but all their roads have this weird design flaw
    via roaringstream
  • 32
    Beast: You must live with me in this castle for the rest of your days. Me: The food is free? Beast: Yes but- Me: I don't have to pay rent? Beast: I think you're missing the point of- Me: And there's a LIBRARY!?!? Sign me up, roomie!!! Beast: ...please leave.
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 33
    Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone0verhere Guys I'm starting to think maybe we shouldn't have thrown away all those chain letters back in the day idk thisoneOverhere
    via @thisone0verhere
  • 34
    I like to tell dad jokes. ...What? Does he laugh? Go home.
    via dirtyFrenchman

    She won that round

  • 35
    me: i haven't taken a photo of me in awhile *takes photo* me: oh thats why
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 36
    matthewsagan: interviewer: so why do you want this job? me: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
    via matthewsagan
  • 37
    When the existential memes start getting too relatable.
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 38
    Was just invited to an event that doesn't start until EIGHT. In the EVENING. I'm sorry but not all of us are on COCAINE.
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 39
    RUN LIKE MR COLLINS JUST PROPOSED
    via dirtyFrenchman
  • 40
    Jonathan Edward Durham @thisone@verhere Sometimes I feel like marriage is just 50% "what do you want for dinner" and 50% "also here is another gross thing currently happening to my body"
    via @thisone0verhere

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