Man asks girlfriend for $4000 to fund his plan to invent a new color, sulks when she refuses: '[He's] telling everyone I’m unsupportive and afraid of innovation'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jan 19, 2025 3:00 PM EST

We're all allowed to have crackpot ideas every now and again, or else life would be no fun and we'd never have Shark Tank. That program showcases the breadth and depth of the human mind more than any other show. An amazing sponge in the shape of a smiley face? Making millions. A stool to put by your toilet bowl to make going to the bathroom a little easier? Now a household name. And they all started as kernels of potentially crazy ideas. 

Most of us, at some point or another, have thought to ourselves, "What if there was a bed that made itself every morning?" Then you start sketching out an idea in your head- it might have retractable robotic arms, a pulley system, and some clamps, and then you realize you're inventing something from Wallace and Gromit. Then, you move on with your life until the next genius realization, and so on and so forth.

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    Cheezburger Image 10455769088
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • In this situation, however, one genius inventor didn't just move on so easily. Indeed he called upon his support system to help him with his outlandish idea. But when his girlfriend had some reservations, the whole thing threatened to tumble down. Would you have supported his dream? Read on for the details and see what you think. 

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    AITA for refusing to fund my boyfriends 'genius' idea?

    I (F24) have been dating my boyfriend (M29) for 3 years, and while he's always been a bit wacky I usually find it kind of endearing. This time however, he's really outdone himself. A few weeks ago, he told me he had a "groundbreaking" idea that would "change humanity forever." Entertaining him, I asked what it was. His answer? He wants to invent a new color.
    via u/Rich-Painter-9008
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    Before we go any further it's important to note we are both college graduates. I graduated in Biochemistry last year and my boyfriend in Philosophy a few years before, which makes this all the wilder I guess.
    via u/Rich-Painter-9008
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    I tried to gently point out that colors exist as part of the visible spectrum of light, so unless he was about to discover some new wavelength, this might not be possible. But he waved me off, calling me "close-minded" and saying he was "enlightened in a way you'll never be"
    via u/Rich-Painter-9008
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    At first, I just nodded and let him ramble about his "vision." But then he told me he needed funding to start his "research." Specifically, he wanted me to give him $4,000 so he could buy "supplies," including "advanced art tools," a lab coat (because apparently, scientists wear them, so it would make him "feel smarter"), and- wait for it—a trip to the desert because he thinks the "pure sunlight" there will inspire him.
    via u/Rich-Painter-9008
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    I told him absolutely not. I'm saving for grad school, and even if I weren't, I'm not dropping thousands of dollars on his... whatever this is. He got mad, saying I didn't believe in him or his "potential to revolutionize human perception." He even accused me of being jealous that he had a "world-changing idea" and I didn't.
    via u/Rich-Painter-9008
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    It got really heated and he ended up saying a lot of things about using my card as he knew the details anyway. For reference he's been unemployed for a while now, whilst I've got a regular job. I ended up saying some things I do regret, but a lot of it was retaliation.
    via u/Rich-Painter-9008
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    Now he's sulking and telling everyone I'm "unsupportive" and "afraid of innovation." His friends are backing him up, saying I should be encouraging his creativity instead of "crushing his dreams." AITA for refusing to fund his quest to invent a new color?
    via u/Rich-Painter-9008
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    EDIT: In terms of dr W s we smoke d occasionally but haven't in the past few weeks, I've never seen him do any other dr is nor have I found any in the house. So I don't know if I can really blame this on a bad trip
    via u/Rich-Painter-9008
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    Cheezburger Image 10455769856
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Commenters were quick to offer their varied perspectives.

    S... . . 16h ago Edited 13h ago saying he was "enlightened in a way you'll never be" With his superior enlightened brain he should easily be able to figure out how to make $4,000 himself.
    via u/SnooBooks007
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    NTA, but you would be if you allowed the delicate genius to demean himself by begging for money from a lesser intellect. He's obviously better than that. EDIT: My reply was obviously glib, but there is the possibility he's having some sort of mental breakdown which requires professional attention.
    via u/SnooBooks007
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    . karptonite 15h ago Nta, but I'm concerned about him. This sounds less like wacky than like a possible symptom of mental or neurological illness. I am not a doctor or a psychologist, but if someone close to me said this, and seemed serious about it, I'd be seriously concerned about their health.
    via u/karptonite
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    cactirosewater • 15h ago Real talk, has he also become very interested in God and/or death and spirituallity lately? This sounds eerily similar to a guy I know before he got diagnosed with schizophrenia
    via u/cactirosewater
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    NoSalamander7749 • 16h ago NTA. Don't fund this. Did he get this idea from mantis shrimp? He got this idea from shrimp.
    via u/NoSalamander7749
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    . CombinationAny870 16h ago NTA and the new color is the red flags he's emitting
    via u/CombinationAny870
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    Jenicillin • 16h ago NTA. Does he mean a new color of pigment or dyestuffs? Because that could be a thing, but he would have to be a chemist to even know how to try. Does he smoke a lot of wood?
    via u/Jenicillin
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    AvocadoJazzlike3... . • 15h ago NTA change your cards and passwords. His friends can financially support this dumb idea. How does he intend to make money off this new color?! Tell him I created a new color myself at Home Depot mixing paint. He's a moron.
    via u/AvocadoJazzlike3670
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    Alone-Air1786 • 15h ago Not all colors exist as part of the electromagnetic spectrum. Some are only perceived. Pink is a perfect example. There is no wavelength of pink, it is a trick our brains play on us.
    via u/Alone-Air1786
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    Additionally, new colors are invented and patented all the time. In this case, it isn't the "color" per se, but really the pigment used to bring that color into reality for artists. There's a reason why "Vanta Black" is worth millions and why Yves Klein is a household name for artists. There is a massive market for creating new "colors" for artists.
    via u/Alone-Air1786
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    It doesn't make you an a hole for not supporting him. I'm just pointing out your entire premise of "the idea itself is impossible unless you make a new wavelength" is wrong.
    via u/Alone-Air1786
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    Machine-Dove 15h ago • NTA, but what does he bring to your relationship? He doesn't have a job, he's threatening to use your credit card without permission, he insults you, and seems to be having some kind of break with reality. I'd be giving this relationship a long, hard look, this kind of "quirky" behavior doesn't usually improve
    via u/Machine-Dove
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    cy... . . 15h ago Edited 13h ago NTA this is not a reasonable request. I am concerned for your that he said he'd use your card anyway as he knows the details. If he's in a manic phase (or otherwise mental
    via u/cynical_overlord1979
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    illness flare up) he might easily make rash, impulsive spends on your card. Get a new bank card and reduce the minimum allowable daily spend to the lowest reasonable level.
    via u/cynical_overlord1979
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    SECOND EDIT: Thankyou guys for all the advice, I've moved the majority of my money into my second bank account for now which I'm pretty sure he doesn't have access to. In terms of his mental health I'm not in the habit of sharing his personal history online but seeing all your comments I do agree that this
    via u/Rich-Painter-9008
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    might be a mental health issue and I'm going to attempt to approach him with the idea of a consultation tomorrow, if anyone has any advice on that please let me know as I don't want it to come across as insulting, I know he was down after his job but the comments have got me more worried about more serious illnesses that he may have.
    via u/Rich-Painter-9008

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