Greedy fiancé demands bride-to-be use full $120,000 gift from parents for the wedding, she insists on saving half for the future instead, reconsiders relationship

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Feb 4, 2025 6:00 PM EST

Weddings are expensive. That's not really new information for anyone reading, but if you've never had to plan a wedding, it might not be clear exactly how or why the price can easily get out of control. Everyone knows that you have to pay for a venue, catering, a DJ, and a dress. These things on their own can be incredibly pricey; even venues intended for micro weddings with fewer than 50 guests go into the thousands for a single evening. Then, there are plenty of hidden costs that you may not think of until you're in the midst of it. For example, marriage licenses, venue clean up, insurance, make up trials, and dress alterations are not free and far from cheap. It's no wonder many couples end up taking out loans for their big day.

In our story today, our protagonist has no need to take a loan to pay for her wedding; her parents have gifted her and her sisters $120,000 each intended for their special day. Despite growing up surrounded by wealth, our protagonist has a solid sense of financial responsibility, and intends to use only half of the sum for her wedding. Her husband is not into it, though. Get all the deets below. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01

    AITA being "Greedy and R_de" while planning my wedding?

    "A wedding is one day, and securing our future financial stability seemed more important."
    via Emma Bauso from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (28F) and my fiancé (36M) are planning our wedding, and last night he accused me of being "greedy and r de." Background: I come from a wealthy family and have worked hard to manage finances responsibly. My father has given each
    via u/Strong-Presence-8273
  • 03
    daughter $120K for their wedding. My sisters used all of it for their weddings, but I asked to use $70K for the wedding and $10K for a honeymoon, saving $40K to help with future children's expenses. My dad agreed to this plan, but only if I could make the wedding work with that budget.
    via u/Strong-Presence-8273
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10463519744
    via Biggunsband

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    I didn't make this decision lightly. When I first got engaged five months ago, I considered using the full amount for a European wedding, but I realized I didn't want to prioritize that. A wedding is one day, and securing our future financial stability seemed more important.
    via u/Strong-Presence-8273
  • 06
    My fiancé has been patient but has accused me of delaying the wedding due to indecisiveness, though I'm just overwhelmed by spending so much on one day and managing everything else. Last night, I asked him to help review venues for a tour we're doing Monday. He rushed through options, and I
    via u/Strong-Presence-8273
  • 07
    started to cry from stress. I also wanted to vet the venues' prices before booking, but this frustrated him. He said I was r de for not wanting to use all the money for a wedding he would love, claiming that going over budget was fine because this was our most important day. He has always dreamed of a grand wedding with lots of guests.
    via u/Strong-Presence-8273

  • If this is his dream, why can't he chip in some money? Sounds like it's all on her.

  • 08
    He criticized the venue I liked, an old library that only seats 180 and fits our budget. He said I was being ride by limiting my guest list to 60 people so he could invite 120 of his family. He also accused me of being "greedy" for wanting to save the
    via u/Strong-Presence-8273
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10463520000
    via Joaquín Corbalán

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    leftover money and said I looked like I was hoarding it. He argued that since we are financially well-off, I shouldn't worry about saving for future children. He also mentioned that our wedding planner had supposedly said I was being greedy, though he later admitted to making that up to show me how r del was being.
    via u/Strong-Presence-8273

  • If dictating how she uses money that was gifted to her is not enough of a red flag, mans really lied and spread gossip in an attempt to manipulate her into getting what he wants!

  • 11
    I thought I was being fiscally responsible by saving the extra money, but now I'm questioning if I've made the right decision. AITA?
    via u/Strong-Presence-8273
  • 12
    Spiritual_Cry3316 NTA. And DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN until AFTER the two of you have gone through some serious pre- nuptial counseling. The number one reason that people divorce is over money issues. And you two are not even on the same continent, let alone the same page. This is important OP. Do it. You, and your future children, deserve it.
    via u/Spiritual_Cry3316
  • 13
    Strong-Presence-8273 Thank you for your thoughts. We are currently in premarital counseling and I think revisiting our finances and what our goals are would be important.
    via u/Strong-Presence-8273
  • 14
    nolaz Respectfully, you need a lot more than premarital counseling and the financial incompatibility is only a small part of the problem. He admits he's a manipulative liar. He insults and name calls you to tear down your self esteem to get what he wants. Those are deep personality flaws that counseling can't fix.
    via u/nolaz
  • 15
    You need to put the wedding planning on pause and get individual counseling to help you decide if you really want to make a lifelong commitment to a manipulative liar and what that would mean for your future - as well as legal advice on how to protect your and future children's assets from the manipulative liar.
    via u/nolaz
  • 16
    Alwaysaprairiegirl If you go through with this, don't say yes without an amazing prenup. He sounds like a gold digger. My eyes kept popping more and more as I read this. I'm not saying to brag up but please protect yourself.
    via u/Alwaysaprairiegirl
  • 17
    Unusual_Fan440 NTA, I know this is what every reddit person says on wedding posts but. You're sure you want to marry this man? Maybe it's just the stress of the wedding getting to him and usually he's super nice but this does not sound like behavior I would want from a fiance as we're about to go into our life bound together.
    via u/Unusual_Fan440
  • 18
    To me it seems like you're being the opposite of greedy, and he is the one that wants to be greedy about the wedding. You're trying to spend less money overall by making your allotted money to go more things.
    via u/Unusual_Fan440
  • 19
    He literally told you he lied to your face about other people thinking badly of you, so you'd try and change your mind on a reasonable decision that you were discussing with him.
    via u/Unusual_Fan440
  • 20
    He apparently was super big on having a giant grand wedding, yet rushed through the actual details enough to make you cry???
    via u/Unusual_Fan440
  • 21
    I am so serious, is this the first time he's had awful behavior like this? Are there any other red flags you may have missed? Because all of this would make me look at him and call it all off.
    via u/Unusual_Fan440
  • 22
    mathhews95 | agree. OP is thinking about their future kids and how to secure a good start for their family, while he's only thinking of "must spend all that money that isn't even mine" in one day.
    via u/mathhews95
  • 23
    Kukka63 NTA but.... How much is he contributing? He wants a wedding 'he would love'.... How wealthy is he? I really, really, really hope that you have a pre-nup..... This sounds like a disaster in the making, please think carefully if this is the life you want. I wish you all the best for all of your future endeavors.
    via u/Kukka63
  • 24
    Mackymcmcmac I can't even imagine spending 70k on a wedding.
    via u/Mackymcmcmac
  • 25
    feminist1946 NTA. Step back and postpone. Your emotional reactions speak volumes. You need to be in a better place to move forward. Your gut is telling you something that your mind isn't listening to.
    via u/feminist1946
  • 26
    I can't tell what is really going on from your post but you are too anxious and stressed out for what should be a happy time. Please back away and take care of yourself. If it is indeed a forever love then he and everyone else should understand.
    via u/feminist1946
  • 27
    Strong-Presence-8273 you are right, I should be having more fun during this process! It should be happy time. As everyone here has recommended I will take a step back and have a conversation with him to realign on how we can both be happy with what we are doing with finances.
    via u/Strong-Presence-8273

Tags

family drama inheritance wedding drama Female Empowerment reddit story relationships wealth wedding couples love reddit thread red flag Reddit dating entitled people
Scroll Down For The Next Article