Woman accuses sister of "stealing her thunder" by having premature baby instead of giving birth at the same time like they planned, later brags about her healthy baby's milestones: "Stop trying to one-up us"

Advertisement
  • 01

    AITA for telling my SIL to get over herself and stop trying to one up us

    "She started comparing the boys, saying how much bigger and more alert her son looks like compared to ours and how he hit more milestones."
  • 02
    Throwaway account. My (29M) wife (27F) and her sister (30F) got pregnant around the same time. The babies are the first of a new generation on their side of the family so everyone was excited. SIL was
  • 03
    further along, but my wife ended up giving birth on week 32, plus she had some complications that had her hospitalized. My nephew was born 2 weeks later at full term.
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10466759680
  • 05
    Apparently SIL was resenting "having her thunder stolen" and felt like she and her new baby weren't getting enough attention. She keeps making these comments like she's trying to one-up us. First she was saying how sorry she was that my wife missed
  • 06
    the "golden hour" because they had to take our son to the NICU. This upset my wife since during her hospitalization she was often too sick to visit the NICU and she's already feeling cr ppy about missing skin-to-skin on those first few weeks.
  • 07
    After we started to bring our son to family gatherings SIL started comparing the boys. Saying how much bigger and more alert her son looks like compared to ours and how he hit more milestones.
  • 08
    Last weekend we had lunch at my in laws'. My wife and I were excited to tell everyone that our son laughed for the first time earlier that day (he's 5.5 months old, 3.5 corrected). MIL and FIL were having a good time watching the video when SIL made another comment about how HER son did that a
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10466759424
  • 10
    month ago. I don't know why that was the last straw, but I just about had it. I told SIL that she's pathetic for trying to one-up a fr king baby. That her full term son wasn't special for being more developed than a preemie. That she should get the f not giving birth to the first grandbaby. over
  • 11
    Needless to say this ruined lunch and my wife's family is ped. I admit I was harsh with my words and tone and this was the first time I confronted her family like this. Up until now we'd each handle our own relatives. But these comments upset my wife and ped me off. So AITA for being so harsh and not staying in "my" lane?
  • 12
    gymngdoll NTA. How did your wife respond?
  • 13
    PersimmonPale466 OP Happy that I spoke up because she was having a hard time telling her sister it makes her feel like cr p. But feels bad that they're ped
  • 14
    gymngdoll Then you're good. You stood up for your wife and child and she appreciated it. It would be helpful if she outwardly had your back to them as well.
  • 15
    renegade8192 It might help if you both strategize together on how to address her sister's comments in a way that feels united. It's tough, but standing strong as a team can make a big difference.
  • 16
    rocketduck413 As a wife and a mom that's an absolute move. I'd be fawning over that moment for years to come.
  • 17
    OhmsWay-71 Justified A h le here. Sure, you could have handled it differently, but that might not have stopped the behaviour.
  • 18
    You had justifiably had enough and said what needed to be said. Your SIL will likely think twice before making any more comparisons out loud, which needed to happen.
  • 19
    Who knows why she is doing it. She might be postpartum, she might just be jealous. None of that needs to concern you. You did what was right for your family and you put the bu y in her place.
  • 20
    hubertburnette Also, the advice that he should have taken her aside is actively bad advice. It would just enable SIL to lie about what he said.
  • 21
    FireashLey Yes, this is exactly what I was thinking. The delivery was a little harsh, but somebody needs to put her in her place. Maybe she would think twice. before trying to do that again. Nip it in the bud real quick.
  • 22
    cowprintbarbie NTA! She deserved it. I would be proud if my husband did the same in that situation. Good for you.
  • 23
    Silly DJ I'm going to say NTA. BUT I need you and your wife to do me a favor. This is going to sound silly, but look up an episode from a kids show called Bluey. It's only 8 minutes long. But it's called Baby Race.
  • 24
    Y'all should watch that. And maybe even send it to your SIL. It made me cry, but it's basically about not comparing your kids' milestones. And it touches on it. in such a sweet way. It's good for the heart. Please watch it.
  • 25
    Cheezburger Image 10466759168
  • 26
    nervelli I came here to say the same thing. And SIL needs to watch it too.
  • 27
    BewitchedCookie NTA. It's disturbing that SIL is more focused on comparing babies than being a supportive sister. She's projecting her issues onto everyone else and it's a good thing you stepped up and said
  • 28
    something, regardless how it came out. The family will get over the bluntness; maybe your wife can circle back and tell her family what's been going on, minus SIL. I'd take some space away from her until she can sort herself out.
  • 29
    FutureOk6751 Info: Did you every once try talking to SIL calmly about this before blowing up at her?
  • 30
    ItWorkedInMyHead I dunno, maybe when you're dealing with someone unhinged enough to think flexing on a premature infant is a good look, a calm talk isn't the best choice.
  • 31
    bitysis Comparison is the thief of joy, remind her of this.
  • 32
    AKlife420 Nope, NTA. If you don't put a stop to it now, it will continue as the children grow and she will put them into competition with each other.

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article