SAHM refuses to babysit husband’s bandmate’s chaotic kids, he insists she should be happy to do it because she “doesn’t have any hobbies”: “I just hover around and fulfil everyone’s needs for the day”

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    AITAH for not wanting to babysit my husband’s bandmates kids?

    "These kids are a handful❞
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    So for reference: 1. We have a preteen daughter who doesn't really hang out with little kids 2. My husband who has been in many bands before which have all amounted to nothing besides his enjoyment (totally fine with him playing, etc.)
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    and this current band he is in have only played one gig in the last 5 years so clearly going no where special or making any sort of income, he even admits it's likely to go nowhere
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    3. We always have his band record/write songs at our house, he has a mini studio set up in the garage and under our small 2 b'room house so going to one of their houses is not an option
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    4. I hardly know these people, in the 5 years he has known them they have probably been here less than a dozen times and I really only say hello, serve some lunch for everyone and say goodbye I don't want to get in their way or "waste time" when they could be recording
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    .]
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    5. The mother (she is married but the husband works all the time) of the children (7 y.o. & 5 y.o.) is financially well off but has no family here for help, don't get me wrong I feel for her but I don't see how this is my problem at the end of the day
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    6. These kids are a handful, not anything extreme, we only have one tv and the older one just plugs his Xbox in to play fortnight the whole time while the littler one just pulls out our daughters toys and makes mess like kids do - if I put out snacks/fruit they will eat everything in sight without
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    leaving some for others and leave food mess everywhere 7. Living in a small place, I have nowhere to go if they are here, I just basically hover around and fulfil everyone else's needs for the day (usually here between 9am - 4pm). It's awkward.
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    My husband thinks I am weird and being a b for saying I don't want to take care of his bandmates kids, I have only said no the one time but because I am a SAHM and don't have my own hobbies I should be happy to watch his mates kids on the rare occasion it happens - AITAH?
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    BulbasaurRanch • 18h ago You should leave the house when this happens. "Enjoy your band time, I'm heading out. See you later" • doesn't matter where you go, just make yourself unavailable
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    mdthomas • 17h ago My husband thinks I am weird and being a b for saying I don't want to take care of his bandmates kids, I have only said no the one time but because I
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    am a SAHM and don't have my own hobbies You have a husband problem. NTA
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    • RevolutionaryDiet6... 18h ago NTA Band comes over, you take your kids out for the day before they get there. Local library, park, friends house. Any place but home.
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    Over_Detective_3756 • 17h ago Why can't their mom watch her own kids? Is she putting her foot down at your expense?
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    NUredditNU ⚫ 17h ago What kind of a man calls his wife a b ? Your husband is being a b for thinking any of this ok and then calling you out of your name for HIS raggedy a band mates and her kids.definitely NTA
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    Cheezburger Image 10467882240
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    When they come, you should lock all of your personal and household valuables and go to the library, for a walk, or to a cafe when they come. Make it clear that none of this sh.. is on you.
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    Hammingbir ⚫17h ago NTA. If the woman wants to be in a band, she has to arrange for her own childcare. You're not here to support her hobby; only your husband's.
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    Inform him that from now on, you'll stay out of the house when they "rehearse.” Since no children are allowed unsupervised in your home while you're gone, she needs to arrange her own babysitting.
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    If that makes you a b, then so be it.
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    zanne54 . 16h ago Hold up, your husband thinks you're a b because you're not happy he voluntold you? Challenge accepted. Be the bigger b and make him regret poking the hornets
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    nest. Make the vibe super uncomfortable and unwelcome for these interlopers that they've worn out their welcome. If they're real musicians, they can jam and write at home, literally record themselves on their phones and share those working files around
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    collaboratively, then just come to record. No need to waste an entire day the dog all together. My DH is also a musician and frequently hosts band practice. I don't serve them anything: his guests; his responsibility to host. They're
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    usually rehearsed and done within 2-3 hours. Not. A. Chance. I'd permit 9 am to 4 pm intrusions in my own home, much less babysit children of someone who's not even your friend. Nope, if she brings her kids, they go in the garage/studio with their mom
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    The big scary question here is: why does your husband prioritize this other woman's needs and comfort over yours: his actual WIFE?!?!??? NTA
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    1231231231... 17h ago Far out thank you! I felt like I - was going crazy thinking this way, my husband basically made me feel like what I was saying no to was not a normal reaction.
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    I try to leave with our daughter for the day most times but this last time he had already agreed on my behalf before asking if I was free and then because he had to backtrack and tell the bandmate no she would know that I didn't want to take care of them.
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    winterworld561 • 16h ago Nah, your husband is a Go out with your kids before his bandmates get there. You are not obligated to take care of other peoples kids. They're not your responsibility.

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