Grandparents' lack of interest in triplet grandsons' lives and obvious favoritism towards other baby grandson leaves them unwelcome at their 2nd birthday party: "They completely stopped helping whatsoever"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Feb 16, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Being a grandparent is really different than being a parent. Anyone with kids has experienced the weird whiplash of the strict parents you grew up with suddenly coddling and pampering their grand kids. The very couple that didn't let you eat candy outside of Halloween is now sneaking your kids treats behind your back; they never let you play video games, but they are personally responsible for buying half of your kid's video game collection! Many parents that raised their own kids in a draconian household find themselves indulging their grandchildren's every whim. Perhaps it is because they feel like they've fulfilled their duties and grandparents, or maybe they enjoy acting as a foil to their kids' attempt at parenting. 

In our story today, a couple of new grandparents certainly give the impression of being head-over-heels over their triplet grandsons. If you scrolled through their Facebook page, there would no shortage of pictures and posts of them. However, ever since their birth, they have been shirking their grandparent duties in favor of their other grandson. Get all the details by scrolling down. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01

    AITAH not inviting my -laws my triplets birthday party?

    "It's like we don't even exist unless they need a new photo to post on Facebook"
    via DZM

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My (28f) husband (29m) and I welcomed a set of triplet boys that were born so prematurely we were told to not expect them to survive. My SIL was also pregnant at this time and carried her son to full
    via u/Curls_Galore
  • 03
    term. Anyway, after a very very long NICU stay and many appointments, all 3 boys are home and doing very well! My parents have been very involved with the triplets care and if it weren't for them I would
    via u/Curls_Galore
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10468775168
    via RealCreation

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    have probably lost my mind a while back ago. My in laws/ however, have not been. During the lengthy NICU stay, they were constantly there and making promises that since we had triplets and obviously needed more help that they were going to be there as soon as I sent a text.
    via u/Curls_Galore
  • 06
    After about 2 months of all 3 boys being home, my in laws completely stopped helping whatsoever. They don't call or text to check in on the boys or my husband and I, it's like we don't even exist unless they need a new photo to post on Facebook to
    via u/Curls_Galore
  • 07
    seem like super grandparents to 4 kids born around the same time. Now my father has vision issues and my mother is wheelchair bound but they are texting me every single day asking about me, my husband,
    via u/Curls_Galore
  • 08
    the boys. How they can help, trying to schedule date nights for my husband and I to reconnect, showing up to appointments with me when my husband has to work so I don't have to bring in all 3 kids solo. I am very thankful.
    via u/Curls_Galore

  • Her parents sound so selfless and sweet. They are also probably a really happy couple because they know the value of keeping the romance alive after having kids. They're going to continue to be a positive force in these lucky kids' lives.

  • 09
    My MIL is retired and my FIL works in a big company. I understand that my FIL works a lot and has a busy job and I don't expect them to take the boys everyday. They claim that it's too hard to watch all 3 kids solo so they can't be involved.
    via u/Curls_Galore
  • 10
    Now my nephew was born full term and is your normal 1 year old and my in laws are very much involved with him. They have pictures of him all over their house, he has his own private room at their home, they even have multiple photos albums of just him in each room of their house. My FIL has taken off work before just to spend time with my nephew plenty of times.
    via u/Curls_Galore
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10468775680
    via AndreyPopov

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    I pulled my in laws to the side a few times to discuss favoritism and they swear up and down that's not it, it's just easier to deal with just one kid. I very much understand that and I would like to clarify I don't expect anyone to watch my children because
    via u/Curls_Galore
  • 13
    they're my responsibility, but I don't think it's fair to be there for one child and not the rest. We all live within 5 minutes of each other so travel isn't an issue either. I was told that they can't help out with them unless it's one baby at time. They did that one time for each kid 5 months ago and it's been radio silence since.
    via u/Curls_Galore
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10468775424
    via Monkey Business Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    My boys turn 2 this April and we are currently planning the party. I told my husband that I don't. think they deserve to be invited to their birthday party this year. My husband is on board but we know that if we go through with this, it will be a blow up so big there will be no turning back from this at all.
    via u/Curls_Galore
  • 16
    swbarnes2 Invite them, but have a photo book printed up of the kids over the last year. Share it around during the party. Make sure there are lots of pics of your parents, and none of your in laws. They'll be mad when they notice, but they'll have no one to blame but themselves.
    via u/swbarnes2

  • This idea is so beautifully petty but also incredibly effective. If they want to be in the photo album next year, they can make an effort to be in the kids' lives! It certainly sends a message.

  • 17
    SweetTexasT I live for this sort of petty.
    via u/SweetTexasT
  • 18
    swbarnes2 If they really want to rub it in, make a photo book just of triplets + parents. Give it to them at the party, and let them show it around. If your in-laws are boorish enough not to take a hint, you'll have to tell them that you didn't have enough pictures to make a book just for them.
    via u/swbarnes2
  • 19
    Chewiesbro This standard of petty really should be in a book, annually printed along the lines of the "Guinness Book of World Records", problem is the book would be massive so it would be more like an old school encyclopaedia!
    via u/Chewiesbro
  • 20
    Emo Beach231 I would crank up the petty. Have a photo book divided into two sections: One side that shows the kids with their maternal grandparents full of loving, happy memories.
    via u/EmoBeach231
  • 21
    And then the other side with the one or two pictures the pretend grandparents took for Facebook followed by blank pages. Really rub it in.
    via u/EmoBeach231
  • 22
    swbarnes2 No, petty makes OP look like an a hole. The better idea is to openly embarrass them without making it look like you did it on purpose. Make the insult subtle enough that you can't be called out.
    via u/swbarnes2
  • 23
    Extra_Simple_7837 I actually think that this is just the reality. That this is their life. They can choose not to be in your life. They can choose not to be involved with your kids. They could choose to really enjoy their daughter's kid and give you radio silence.
    via u/Extra_Simple_7837
  • 24
    Personally, I would invite them and they could take pictures and put them on Facebook and make believe. But after that, if there's another year where they are just nowhere around then they're pretty much nowhere around and you should just make decisions based on that. And not invite them. Because they're nowhere around. And they're choosing it.
    via u/Extra_Simple_7837
  • 25
    idontcarewhatiuse NTA "Sorry for not inviting you. It's just easier to deal with one set of grandparents at a time, and the kids actually have a relationship with my parents. Since more than one child will be there, we didn't think you would want to be involved anyway."
    via u/idontcarewhatiuse
  • 26
    Istarien Addendum: "Don't worry, we will send you the social media press package afterwards."
    via u/Istarien
  • 27
    Ok Stable7501 Tell them you'd invite them but you know they'd only attend a party for one kid at a time and you're not having three parties. NTA
    via u/Ok_Stable7501
  • 28
    Beginning Squash8646 I invited my parents to dinner once when my kids were very young. My mother declined as she said it was too far to drive (about 45 minutes). However, she and my dad would visit my brother and sister in law frequently and they also lived about 45 minutes away. I never invited them again. Their loss. NTA
    via u/Beginning_Squash8646
  • 29
    Comfortable-Focus123 No judgement. BUT - your husband is the one who should be dealing with his parents. Have him ask them if they are even interested in coming to the party.
    via u/Comfortable-Focus12
  • 30
    Reddit Widow They can claim it's not favoritism but there's def something going on, because there's nothing. stopping your inlaws from making photo albums of your children and putting up photos of your children
    via u/RedditWidow
  • 31
    alongside the other grandchild. Even if they're not around to take the photos themselves, they can get. photos from you via Facebook, Instagram or email. I put all of my kids photos on a private online website and gave my inlaws access.
    via u/RedditWidow
  • 32
    NTA I'm a big fan of children having lots of family support, but not if that family doesn't value them. How are they going to feel in a few years when they go visit FIL and MIL and just see their cousin everywhere?
    via u/RedditWidow
  • 33
    FOCOMojo It's sad, but not uncommon for grandparents to be more involved in their daughters' families than their sons' families. I am NOT saying it's OK, just that I think it's not uncommon.
    via u/FOCOMojo

Tags

reddit story Reddit Babies family drama triplets toxic married with children birthday birthday party relationships favoritism parenting favorite new mom grandparents reddit thread
Scroll Down For The Next Article