Possessive stepfather tries to dictate 27-year-old stepdaughter’s dating choices while living in her own home, she starts charging him rent money as punishment: “It’s wrong to have guys over this late”

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  • 01

    AITA for putting my foot down and charging rent when my stepdad started trying to tell me what to do in my own house?

    "The days of making unsolicited comments at me need to end" RENT
  • 02
    My stepdad (55m) has been married to my mom (52f) about 5 years. They were doing alright but hit hard times and eventually had their house foreclosed on.
  • 03
    So they moved in with me (27f). They've been living here for about 2 or 3 months now. And it's been going ok until last week ish. Also, my stepdad has been working a part time job but has not had full time employment since then.
  • 04
    Anyways, I feel like some of the issues started since I've been on vacation, which I have for 2 weeks.
  • 05
    Sometime during the first few days, he saw me heading out and made some sort of comments regarding my outfit. He said the shorts were too short and that I should reconsider. We fought about it back and forth until I just decided to leave because I was tired of reasoning with him anymore.
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10474810112
  • 07
    He's been making a lot of these commments in various times and various different ways (eg skirt or shorts are too short, your belly is showing etc etc).
  • 08
    I've told him to stop and he says ok and then starts up again. I can't say I understand. I think the straw that broke the camel's back for me was when I had my bf over.
  • 09
    I've told my mom about it as well and she said that she doesn't support it but that this is a dispute him and I need to solve.
  • 10
    He stayed til maybe 10:30 - 11 pm and left. My stepdad didn't say anything while he was here, but he emotionally imploded after he left.
  • 11
    He said that it's wrong to have guys over this late and to be in my room with them alone. He said that we don't stand for these things in our house.
  • 12
    I responded to him that he can stand for whatever he wants in his house, maybe even in a hypothetical our house, but he can't tell me what to do in my house.
  • 13
    I told him that the days of him making unsolicited comments at me need to end.
  • 14
    On top of that, I told him that from here on out I'm charging $400 a month rent with a month to month agreement. On top of that, if he continues to make comments, this agreement is over and he'll be out of the house as soon as I am able to make it happen.
  • 15
    FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE HB 39109172 R B2 Thom Cabedestal 100 FEDERAL RESERVE NO FG 72897301 G7 TO STATE RENT PAYMENT Anne Lacobel's Behal M00 UNITE DO CDCD 48 D 100 DO L 82621250 C 田 100 ED DOLLAR
  • 16
    My mom was upset at first about it but I was able to calm her down. First, I told her that she told me that it was up to us how to solve this dispute and this is how I've decided to solve it.
  • 17
    Secondly, I told her that he's been staying a while and starting to charge rent would make my life a bit easier for as long as he stays. She was a bit more amenable to that second point. Stepdad is just overall quite pissy. He hasn't told my mom or I his thoughts on the arrangement since
  • 18
    he yelled at me about it the night of our big argument but he is just generally ignoring me when he can.
  • 19
    SuperSherry813 NTA-I think your BF needs to come over A LOT more. I think you need to assert your dominance over YOUR home each & every day. If they get too comfortable, they won't be incentivized to get their own place.
  • 20
    fiestafan73 He's acting like the dad of a teenager, and not only are you not a teenager, he is not even your dad, nor is in he in his house. This is a great solution. I think you need to start talking with them about their plans to move back out
  • 21
    on their own. This can clearly not be a permanent situation. NTA.
  • 22
    Odd_... NTA. When I was 22, my parents came to visit. I was sitting in the living room with my feet on the coffee table. My mom (a wonderful person) said "if that was my coffee table, you wouldn't have your feet on it." I said "good thing
  • 23
    it's not your coffee table." She never said another word about what I did in my home. Your stepdad needs to understand he doesn't get to make rules in your home. Period.

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