Mom's favoritism on full display when she excludes 23-year-old daughter from family vacation despite paying for siblings and their friends: "I couldn't afford it and that was that"

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Mar 8, 2025 9:00 PM EST

Family vacations are pretty silly. On the surface, it can sound pretty fun to spend some time in another location with your family, exploring a new cities, and trying new cuisines. However, the amount of decision-making required during a family trip inevitably leads to conflict – either between siblings, parents, or everyone at once. It can be difficult to act as a unit when one person wants to go a museum, the other is starving, another is also hungry but wants a different food, and someone else is begging to go back to the hotel. However, most people put on their rose-colored glasses when revisiting these memories and do it all over again the next time there's an opportunity for a family trip.

In our story today, our protagonist is excluded from these indespensible memories by her own mother when she can't pay for her portion of the cost of the trip. This sounds fair enough at first – until we find out that mom is paying for her other kids as well as some of their friends. Scroll down below to get the full story. 

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  • 01

    AITA crashing out cause not invited on family holiday

    "She clearly had this extra money to spend to bring other peoples' kids but not me."
    via travnikovstudio

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Hi guys (23F). My family recently booked a holiday and asked if I wanted to come I said I couldn't afford it and that was that. Recently was talking to my mum and she said that both of my younger siblings
    via u/ApartContribution573
  • 03
    are bringing a friend that she is fully paying for. My brother is 20 like he lives at home and she is paying for him and a friend. And my sister (15) and her friend to go on an all inclusive holiday to Spain.
    via u/ApartContribution573
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10476357632
    via martin-dm

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    It was the same last year they all went on holiday without me but last year they didn't bring anyone else. I was fine with it until I heard my mums paying for other kids to do but wouldn't bring me so I'm annoyed with her. I do so much for her as well like
    via u/ApartContribution573
  • 06
    way more than my other siblings. I live 10 mins down. the road so always picking up/ dropping to school or doing things around the house for her but I'm bt hurt that she clearly had this extra money to spend to bring other peoples kids on holiday but not me.
    via u/ApartContribution573
  • 07
    EDIT: I initially asked a few weeks ago for her to tell me how much it would be if I booked on cause I would have went if it was affordable. She got back to me saying it's 900 and I just said I couldn't afford that anyways and that was it. Until I found out she's
    via u/ApartContribution573
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10476357376
    via rattanakun

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    paying for 2 of my siblings friends. She said in convo who was going and I just said "what you could have paid for me to go but instead ur paying for 2 other children " and she ignored that comment.
    via u/ApartContribution573

  • She's being actively ignored and excluded by her mother; I wonder if this is a pattern?

  • 10
    NTA CF_FI_Fly I'd stop doing extra favors for her, since she doesn't seem to appreciate it.
    via u/CF_FI_Fly
  • 11
    nycvoyageur And it doesn't even have do be a big dramatic refusal. "sorry I can't" said with a cheerful smile. Every time. No more extra favors or errands. Scale back on monies spent on your parents for gifts etc. Prioritize your money and time for you.
    via u/nycvoyageur
  • 12
    Games DontStop INFO. Why is she telling you that she is paying for your sibling's friends to go? ask to have her pay for you? Does she want you to Does she want you to come back and live with her? Is she just rubbing it in that you can't afford it but she can?
    via u/GamesDontStop
  • 13
    ApartContribution573 OP No she just said like in conversation who was going and I did say then what you could have paid for me but you paid for them to go instead and she ignored the comment
    via u/ApartContribution573
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10476357888
    via caracterdesign

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    Dazzling Note6245 NTA. I would tell her with the least emotion possible that you're insulted that she would pay for your sibling's friends and not you and as a result you decided you're no longer going to be there for her the way you have in the past because clearly she doesn't value you as much as she should.
    via u/Dazzling_Note6245
  • 16
    ApartContribution 573 OP I could say this in the most casual way and it'll still make the most drama my families seen in years but I will have to at this point cause I'm acc pretty upset at it.
    via u/ApartContribution
  • 17
    AuggieNorth I wouldn't say anything. Just don't be around as much and don't be helping out like you've been. She heard you the first time.
    via u/AuggieNorth

  • There is no reason to cause a big stir. She can just slowly ghost her mother every time she asks for help.

  • 18
    Dazzling Note6245 That's also a great option.
    via u/Dazzling_Note6245
  • 19
    OkeyDokey654 Then don't say it. Just do it. You don't have to tell people you're setting a boundary. You can simply decide you will no longer go out of your way to help people who won't do the same for
    via u/OkeyDokey654
  • 20
    you, and start living it. Whatever she wants, you are unfortunately unable to provide. You're busy, you're broke, you're not answering her text until it's too late. You're just unavailable to her.
    via u/OkeyDokey654
  • 21
    Dazzling Note6245 Controlling people hate it when you take their power away. Have you ever heard of gray rock method?
    via u/Dazzling_Note6245
  • 22
    Something to consider. You can't let her see you emotionally upset by this. Simply state it was ride of her to overlook you and pay for others and as a result you've decided to do x.
    via u/Dazzling_Note6245
  • 23
    therealdanfogelberg I get that this might cause drama, but it's not about being petty or causing drama, it's amount communicating what's okay and what isn't.
    via u/therealdanfogelberg
  • 24
    - Your sibling is 20 and getting their trip AND their friend's trip paid for this is the biggest issue here. They are ALSO an adult, one who lives at home, costing your folks far more than you do.
    via u/therealdanfogelberg
  • 25
    I think you should talk to your mom and tell her exactly how this makes you feel. This isn't about her or her feelings. If she is making you
    via u/therealdanfogelberg
  • 26
    feel excluded or like you aren't wanted on this trip or like a lesser part of the family than, say, your 20 year old siblings friend, then say so. She needs to hear that from you.
    via u/therealdanfogelberg
  • 27
    TheWorld TurnsAround NTA for the way you feel. If she wants to pay for your siblings' friends to go but not you, I would stop doing things for her for free. If she pays you, maybe you can afford to go next time.
    via u/TheWorldTurnsAround

Tags

reddit story relationships reddit thread Reddit family drama toxic sibling rivalry siblings favoritism parenting love family sister golden child family vacation vacation
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