‘She doesn’t want to rent and is set on buying a house. I feel like it’s a huge obligation’: Future mother-in-law demands fiancé co-sign house loan, guilt-tripping with past favors despite a history of bankruptcies

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Mar 9, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

Some family members have a remarkable ability to turn old favors into lifelong, guilt-ridden obligations. You thought accepting their help came with no strings attached? Think again. Years later, they'll find the most inconvenient time to cash in, presenting you with demands so audacious they barely count as a request. Apparently, being related gives them the moral high ground to use your financial stability as collateral for their bad decisions.  

One person was recently blindsided by this trap when their soon-to-be mother-in-law decided it was time to buy a house in their state. Normally, that would be fine—except she doesn't qualify for a loan and refuses to rent. Naturally, she turned to this person to co-sign, since they'd make the perfect fallback plan if things go south. Of course, she promised to remove them from the loan when she eventually qualifies on her own. Because nothing reassures a person like vague promises from someone who has already declared bankruptcy, lost a house to foreclosure, and treats budgets like abstract art.

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  • To make things worse, she insists they owe her because she let them live rent-free in her house years ago. Back then, she wouldn’t take a dime, swearing it was no big deal. Suddenly, that generosity has turned into some sort of cosmic debt repayment plan.  

    Saying no might hurt feelings, but it’ll save your credit score. After all, what’s worse: a few weeks of awkward family dinners or spending your golden years paying off someone else’s dream house while they wave to you from the porch?

  • "AITA for not co-signing on a loan for my soon to be mother-in-law?"

    "My soon to be mother-in-law is expecting me to cosign on a loan"
    via shisuka

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • My soon to be mother in law is looking to buy a house in the state that my fiancé and i live in, but she doesn't have a job here yet so she needs someone to cosign on the loan so she can
    via rosesonmymind
  • buy a house here since she doesn't qualify on her own. She doesn't want to rent and is set on buying a house. My fiancé doesn't qualify for the loan, but i know i would qualify. I feel like
    via rosesonmymind
  • it's a huge obligation and she said she'd remove me off the loan after a year or so when she qualifies on her own. She also has declared bankruptcy in the past
    via rosesonmymind
  • and had her first home foreclosed on quite a few years ago. She has never been the best at managing her money. My soon to be MIL is expecting me to cosign on the
    via rosesonmymind
  • Cheezburger Image 10476864256
    via globalmoments

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • loan since she let me live with her rent free for a few years a while back. At the time i was living with her, she refused any form of rent and never expected anything
    via rosesonmymind
  • from me, but now she is upset that I won't cosign the loan for her since she let me live with her rent free for a few years. Am I the ah le for not wanting to cosign on this loan?
    via rosesonmymind
  • CarpeCyprinidae if someone doesnt have enough of a credit profile for a bank to lend to them, they don't have enough of a credit profile for a family member to lend, either. NTA
    via CarpeCyprinidae
  • canvasshoes2 Danger Will Robinson! Do not do this. Cosigning a house loan is a huge deal and could destroy your credit if she defaults. It's not comparable to her letting you live rent free. If you want to help, offer to give her that money back or at least some of it. That should give her a nice nest egg.
    via canvasshoes2
  • It's not as if she'd be homeless, she just doesn't want to rent. ΝΤΑ.
    via canvasshoes2
  • Cheezburger Image 10476864512
    via bymuratdeniz

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • lakehop Maybe instead help her pay rent for a few months while she moves and gets a job.
    via lakehop
  • Status_Chocolate_305 NEVER CO--SIGN A LOAN. If family or friends it will cause absolute feelings of betrayal for you. And really nasty feelings between you all including your partner. DO NOT DO IT!
    via Status_Chocolate_305
  • TwinGemini_1908 I'm trying to figure out, why isn't her son dealing with her madness? You sign a loan, she defaults, it not only negatively affects you but him as well, if you're
    via TwinGemini_1908
  • married. Don't do it. Never co-sign a loan for anyone. If they can't manage their own credit and need a co-signer, imagine what they'll do to yours.
    via TwinGemini_1908
  • No_Cockroach4248 NTA, don't co-sign a loan, you will be responsible when she falls into arrears. There is a history of bankruptcy and foreclosure. The prognosis is not good. If you want to, help her with rent for a few months.
    via No_Cockroach4248
  • CatCharacter848 So she's bad with money management and has already been declared bankrupt. She's also not your mother in law yet.
    via CatCharacter848
  • Have you even asked how she will pay rent without a job and manage bills. This is a MASSIVE RISK, she'll likely default and you will be paying for a mortgage. Whose to say she'll even be able to take you off. I can forsee you being stick with a lot of debt here.
    via CatCharacter848
  • Queen_Sheilala R-U-N
    via Queen_Sheilala
  • Loving Life_365 Girl DONT U FO IT!!! she can rent it quality on her own!!!!
    via Loving_Life_365
  • One-Ear-9001 She can't really hold free rent over your head when she wasn't even paying the mortgage either.
    via One-Ear-9001
  • clipsje Don't do it, just don't. There are so many red flags that it's an amusement park. First off, She wants to move to your location. So it's on her that she gets a house and a job.
    via clipsje
  • She wants you to co-sign, because her own kid can't and her own credit is shot. Then she SHOULD find a job first and then start looking at houses. Not the other way around.
    via clipsje
  • Also, her saying she will take you off in a year.............. Translation, I'm not even gonna look for a job, I'm gonna take my time and let you pay. If the cosign is just for her to set foot on the ground, she would take you off the minute she got a job (O wait she isn't planning on getting a job).
    via clipsje
  • And what if your relationship with your BF/GF ends? You will still be on the cosign, and on the spot to pay for it.
    via clipsje
  • Just don't do it. And also it's your BF/GF's job to talk to his/her mother that this is an unreasonable request. ΝΤΑ
    via clipsje

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family drama inheritance aita AITAH brother mother tradition siblings family feud favoritism wedding aunt sister fiancé grandmother Father
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