Artist demands money from family friend for a painting he did not commission, he refuses despite her guilt-trip over time and money spent on materials: "She had said nothing to me about before making it."

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Mar 13, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Being an artist in this day and age is tough. Honestly, it was always pretty tough, which is why parents do not often cheer when they find out their kids have an artistic inclination. Nowadays, artists have to learn a whole new skillset to be successful: marketing. If you're not posting reels twice a day on your Insta, you can't really expect to pay the bills with your passion. 

Still, there are other ways to get your artwork to sell. You could be a regular seller at a local craft fair, sell out and make digital designs for a big company, or force people to by your art by knocking on their door and demanding money. A young artist took the latter route in our story today. She wasn't begging for money out of nowhere; she seemed to be under the impression that our protagonist commissioned a piece from her. However, she never asked for a deposit, updated him on her progress, or even talked to him at all about making art for him. From his perspective, it was totally out of left field. Scroll down for the full story!

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  • 01

    AITA I refused to pay for a commission that was made for me

    "A standard grade art student could probably do a better job."
    via Tatyana

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    It happened when I was having a few drinks with a family friend, Robert. Robert had a commission of his family coat of arms painted on to a mirror. It had been done by a family mutual friend, Kay. She had apparently made it for him for free but was planning to start a business of it.
    via u/ThrowayCommission
  • 03
    Robert started talking to me about if I would want a similar "work of art" done. Eventually I described is one was made of Leopard, Baiser and Alice standing by a stream, the giant guns, flower monster and cat behind them. Their alter egos reflected in the stream.
    via u/ThrowayCommission
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10479413504
    via Denys Gromov from Pexels
  • 05
    Next time I was visiting Robert, no drink in me this time, I saw his painted mirror again that he was so proud of. pretty amateur work. Thought no more of it.
    via u/ThrowayCommission
  • 06
    Then a couple of weeks later Kay and Robert are knocking on the door. Kay has the mirror painted for me, she told me, "That will be £400." I told her "No thanks"
    via u/ThrowayCommission
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10479413760
    via S_Chum
  • 08
    She argued that it was done now, she had taken time and materials to make it. I repeated that I did not want it. She started going on about how I should not have commissioned it if I did not want to buy it.
    via u/ThrowayCommission
  • 09
    I explained that she had said nothing to me about before making it. She should have arranged with me, not just gone off a second hand description from Robert, We could have aggreed on a price, far lower than the £400 she was wanting now, maybe even taken a deposit before starting.
    via u/ThrowayCommission

  • I can believe that there was some miscommunication in this situation, but the artist really should've done a follow up. And if you're charging that much, you should definitely be asking for half upfront – to protect yourself and the client!

  • 10
    She tried to argue but I finished by saying that £400 was over priced for a painted mirror, and while it is probably better than I can do(I'm not good at art) a standard grade art student could probably do a better job.
    via u/ThrowayCommission
  • 11
    She got pretty angry about this as did Robert but I refused to buy. Because they are family friends they were complaining to my parents about it. My parents agree that I do not need to buy it but it does cause a bit of turbulence in their friendships with Kay and Robert.
    via u/ThrowayCommission

  • Bringing the family into this is such a salty move. At least our protagonist's parents were not pressuring him to pay.

  • 12
    Wild Ticket1413 NTA. You didn't commission anything from Kay. You never spoke to her directly about this. You had a casual chat over drinks with Robert, who then made a massive assumption and asked Kay to make something for you. She failed to contact you and
    via u/Wild_Ticket1413
  • 13
    verify that it was indeed what you wanted. It would be different if you asked her to make it and then refused it, but you didn't. Robert acted on his own, with consulting you. He (and to some extent, Kay) are responsible for this situation, not you.
    via u/Wild_Ticket1413
  • 14
    If anything, Robert should buy the mirror. Or Kay can try to sell. (If I'm understanding the description, the artwork was based on literature or film, not something personal to you. If so, someone else may want it.)
    via u/Wild_Ticket1413
  • 15
    Glittering Song Robert's meddling is quite suspicious to me too. I bet the price was that high because he had negotiated a commission with Kay. Otherwise there was no reason to ask her to do it without confirming with OP first. They sound like scammers to me.
    via u/Glittering__Song
  • 16
    000Kat000 I paint murals for people and it's extremely amateurish to never at least SPEAK to the actual client. I generally do a computer generated mock up using a photo editor before I start painting and the client can tweak things as necessary until we get it exactly how they want it. Then, depending on the scope of work, we agree on a price.
    via u/000Kat000
  • 17
    It seems like OP didn't get to choose anything. The size of the mirror, the colors, placement of the various items, etc. Kay just decided what he should like and how much it should cost randomly. That's not a commissioned piece. That's practically the same thing as seeing something in the store.
    via u/000Kat000
  • 18
    Dry_Response4914 Kay probably didn't confirm (what any responsible vendor would do) because she was counting on shaming OP into paying for it and make the money. Either that or she's not very bright.
    via u/Dry_Response4914
  • 19
    Loki_the_Corgi NTA. I do commissioned work on the side. First, you ALWAYS communicate directly with the buyer. Second, ALWAYS take a deposit.
    via u/Loki_the_Corgi
  • 20
    Cheezburger Image 10479414016
    via baseimage
  • 21
    She did neither of those things and (most importantly) you didn't order it directly from her. She's an idiot, and it's her own stupid fault. She can use this as a good learning experience since she's starting her own business.
    via u/Loki_the_Corgi
  • 22
    Nisi-Marie Third....always have it in writing
    via u/Nisi-Marie
  • 23
    jezhayes Third, write down the brief/details of the commission Four, show a concept sketch before you spend a load of money on a mirror and materials
    via u/jezhayes
  • 24
    Salty Shadows NTA. I make and sell crocheted items, including commissions and you didn't commission this... you fantasized about a cool piece, if she had gifted it to you that would have been fine, but no way in h I are you on the hook for £40 or £400 without discussing it.
    via u/Salty__Shadows
  • 25
    minnies52z Robert set OP up for this mess. He acted like the middleman without actually securing an agreement. If anyone owes Kay, it's him, not OP.
    via u/minnies52z
  • 26
    platinumf4ng NTA- you didn't commission them ask or even imply you wanted or desired a coat of arms on a painted mirror. Nor did they reach out to confirm design or confirm materials or style. They're the ah le for just making something and then demanding you pay for it.
    via u/platinumf4ng
  • 27
    Fntsyking655 If I am reading this right, you literally never spoke a word to this woman about doing this, and now she wants you to pay her for something you literally never commissioned? NTA
    via u/Fntsyking655

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