27-year-old woman stands up to mother-in-law for constantly mispronouncing her name on purpose, husband sides with mom: "Oh, you're so particular"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Mar 12, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

Hearing your name mispronounced can be nails on a chalkboard levels of uncomfortable and cringy. Many people whose names are a bit more difficult to pronounce prefer to use a nickname over hearing people butcher their names. I have a bit of an abnormal spelling of a really common name which has caused me some trouble in my life. Even when I tell people that it is pronounced exactly like "Ellie," they still sometimes trip up and call me "E-lie, "Ee-Lee," or even "Aly." 

In our story today, our protagonist has a similar issue; her name is a slightly different iteration of a more common name. The name is totally pronouncable by English speakers. However, her mother-in-law refuses to say it correctly despite knowing her for five years. The situation comes to a head when MIL introduces our protagonist using the incorrect name to a friend. Scroll down below to see how netizens react to this dastardly tale. 

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  • 01

    AITA correcting my -laws they mispronounce my name?

    "I'm not asking them to learn a new language, just my actual name.
    via Motortion

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (27F) have a name that isn't super common in the U.S., but it's not that hard to pronounce. Think something like "Leena," but my in-laws keep saying "Lana." It's a small difference, but it makes my name sound completely different. I've been with my husband (30M) for five years, married for two, and his parents have never gotten it right.
    via u/LilL****Lucy
  • 03
    At first, I thought they just needed time to adjust. They're in their 60s, and I get that learning a new name might take a second. But we see them often, and I've corrected them so many times. My husband says I should let it go because "it's not intentional," but at what point does it stop being accidental and start being just... dismissive?
    via u/LilL****Lucy
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10479244800
    via JackF

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    It's not like they struggle with pronunciation in general. They can say names like "Giovanni" or "Schwarzenegger" just fine. My husband's mom even talks about how much she loves learning about different cultures, but when it comes to my name, she always shrugs it off with, "Well, you know who I mean!"
    via u/LilL****Lucy
  • 06
    The last straw was at a family dinner last weekend. His mom was introducing me to her friend and said, "This is our daughter-in-law, Lana." I laughed a little and said, "Almost! It's Leena." She sighed and said,
    via u/LilL****Lucy
  • 07
    "Oh, you're so particular," in front of everyone. It was embarrassing. I just smiled and let it go, but later, I told my husband I didn't think it was fair. He got defensive and said I was making his mom feel bad over something "so small."
    via u/LilL****Lucy

  • It is so clearly passive-aggressive and disrespectful! This is mother-in-law's best attempt at jabbing our protagonist while still being able to play innocent. 

  • 08
    I honestly don't think I'm being unreasonable. I'm not asking them to learn a new language, just my actual name. But now I feel like I'm being that person-overly sensitive and nitpicking. My best friend says I should just answer to it because "older people don't change," but I don't want to set the precedent that my name doesn't matter.
    via u/LilL****Lucy
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10479245056
    via Lolostock

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    Traditional_Bug_2046 NTA at all. What are you being particular about? That people know your actual name after five years? They're almost certainly doing it on purpose, right?
    via u/Traditional_Bug_2046
  • 11
    Your husbands ks. How can he say you made his mom feel small by this one incident when he doesn't give a sh that they can't get your name right after five years. Like of course that will make you feel small!
    via u/Traditional_Bug_2046
  • 12
    Have you discussed this with him over the years? How is he okay with this treatment of his wife? What is he doing about it? I'm really curious if there's some sort of racial or cultural dimension at play? Five years is a long time without any underlying issues.
    via u/Traditional_Bug_2046
  • 13
    LilLustyLucy OP Yeah, that's been bothering me too. I don't expect him to go full 'defender of my honor' or anything, but a simple 'Hey, it's not that hard, just say it right' would go a long way. Instead, he acts like I'm the one making a big deal out of nothing. Starting to wonder if this is just a preview of future problems. He is like the mommas boy but still, i just feel like he shouldve done more is all especially after all weve been thru
    via u/LilL****Lucy
  • 14
    pacazpac gf, you're NTA but you have a husband problem, not just an in-law problem. He should have stepped in and shut this down immediately. They are being willfully ride and disrespectful and your husband should be on your side.
    via u/pacazpac
  • 15
    Lil LustyLucy OP yeah, that's exactly what's been bothering me, five years is a long time to keep getting it wrong. At this point, it feels like a choice. My husband keeps brushing it off like it's not a big deal, but I don't think he really gets how dismissive it feels. I've brought it up before, but he just says they 'mean well' and I should let it go. Not sure how to get him to actually see the problem without it turning into a bigger fight.
    via u/LilL****Lucy
  • 16
    Junior-Author6225 Exactly! The fact that he's defending them instead of backing you up is the real issue here. It's literally just your name, basic respect.
    via u/Junior-Author6225
  • 17
    Striking_Seat5622 NTA... Start mispronouncing their names ever so slightly too and see how they like it
    via u/Striking_Seat5622

  • This is honestly the best advice! Give them a taste of their own medicine. No one likes to hear their name mispronounced!

  • 18
    Lil LustyLucy OP Haha, I've thought about it! But knowing my luck, they'd either not notice or somehow turn it into a joke at my expense. Still, might be tempting to call my MIL 'Margaretta' instead of Margaret next time and see if she cares.
    via u/LilL****Lucy
  • 19
    chocolatebuckeye Do it to husband, too. But maybe call him Sweaty instead of Sweetie. Surely he won't mind the minor difference.
    via u/chocolatebuckeye
  • 20
    oldnowthinker Also, do not respond if they call your name incorre ctly.
    via u/oldnowthinker
  • 21
    Maleficent_Tailor NTA You look her in the face, and you say "If you don't learn my name, you will never know my children's." And then laugh. Cuz you can make jokes too.
    via u/Maleficent_Tailor
  • 22
    Sheesh. You can get them back if/when you do have kids. Whatever they want their grandparents name to be. Change it. Mom wants Grandma and Grandpa. Now they are MeMaw and Pop Pop. Cuz names don't matter right? Oi this annoys me to no end.
    via u/Maleficent_Tailor
  • 23
    Lil LustyLucy OP Omg, I LOVE this I swear, if this keeps up, I might actually hit them with that line just to see their reaction. Honestly, the pettiness in me is so tempted. This whole thing annoys me to no end too, it's such a small thing to get right, but it says so much when they don't even try.
    via u/LilL****Lucy
  • 24
    DA-7400 NTA. Your in-laws are passive aggressive jerks and are doing it intentionally knowing how disrespectful they are being. Also, your husband needs to grow a spine, he needs to stick up for you, and he needs to stop being such a mama's boy.
    via u/DA-7400
  • 25
    CreativeMusic5121 NTA, but they are and so is your husband. After FIVE YEARS they still can't get it right----it IS intentional, and they have no respect for you AT ALL. They probably don't even like you----and that includes your husband. Every time they say it wrong and he doesn't correct them, he is choosing them over you.
    via u/CreativeMusic5121
  • 26
    Crafty_Quantity_3162 Start mispronouncing your husband and in-laws names. See how long it takes for them to have an issue with something "so small" NTA
    via u/Crafty_Quantity_3162
  • 27
    sueiniowa Don't acknowledge them when they call you the wrong name. When they get offended about being ignored, your response is "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were talking to me, MY name is Leena".
    via u/sueiniowa

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family drama marriage toxic wife married life relationships parenting mommy husband couples father in law mother in law love family red flag Reddit parents
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