‘She is a sad excuse for a mom’: Pregnant daughter ‘cuts ties’ with mother after she refuses to watch her grandchild during multiple family emergencies

Advertisement
  • Cheezburger Image 10479976960
  • Advertisement
  • "I have decided to cut ties with my mom after she refused to be there for me when I needed her the most."

    Hi all. My mom has always treated me like I am her second favourite after my sister all my life. This has really messed up with my self esteem. Now I am married with a son and another
  • one along the way. Anyways, there have been three situations where I asked her to come and stay with us for a bit. We initially both stayed in the same city but now are 2 hour flight away.
  • 1. First, my husband had a work trip in Oct last year. The morning sickness was at its peak at 3 months. And I just wanted someone around incase there is a medical emergency for 3-4 days. We have a nanny to
  • Advertisement
  • help with my son for most of the day. So all she had to do was just be around. She refused saying she has a neighbour's birthday party to attend. I let it go.
  • Cheezburger Image 10480005632
  • 2. Last month, I called her and asked her if she can be with my son for 3-4 days when I will be in the hospital around my due date. Again the nanny is there. She just has to manage the night when he is sleeping. She refused
  • Advertisement
  • saying she can't leave my dad alone during easter time and needs to cook for him. My dad is a perfectly abled man who can cook his own food.
  • 3. Yesterday, my husband's side of the family had an emergency situation and my husband had to leave for his parent's place for 3-4 days. This time I was sure I will not ask my mom to come down
  • again. But my husband called my mom and literally begged her to come down as he didn't want to leave me alone with my son at this juncture. Her cold response was that she has to be with
  • Advertisement
  • my dad and cook for him etc. She asked us to keep the nanny to stay over for a couple of days. I fully support my husband's decision to be with his parents at this time for reasons I can't divulge.
  • After yesterday, I lost it with her. I told her that she wont hear from me again and she is a sad excuse for a mom who can't even be with her daughter when there can be a medical emergency. And in case I de she need not come either. So
  • she blamed me for moving cities without considering all this. And that my dad has slogged all his life to educate us etc. how can I think she can leave him and rush to me. For context, I moved cities
  • Advertisement
  • because I got a better job that pays her bills to a certain extent and gives me some semblance of work life balance. As for my dad, he is not a baby. What kind of mother would want to miss the birth of her grandchild or not want to be with her daughter when she is almost due.
  • Update: The reason I posted this was to reaffirm if my actions were justified. I was wondering if I was being ride to her. But I am glad to read so many responses that confirm that her behaviour is irrational and she is manipulating me. I really feel better. I don't
  • have many examples of being there for her. There haven't been many times where she has needed me because healthwise thankfully she has been good.
  • Advertisement
  • But I do remember one occasion she randomly called me last year and ask me to urgently help her friend financially with some $1,000. I had $500 at the time in my account which I immediately transferred and asked my husband to transfer the other half. No questions asked. At the
  • moment she thinks I need her more than she needs me. What she is forgetting is that she was my first choice of preference and not my only choice. I am yet to decide if I should cut her off financially as well or if that would be too extreme.
  • CatelynsCo pse "For context, I moved cities because I got a better job that pays her bills to a certain extent" Seems like Dad/Mom need to start slogging a bit harder so they don't have to leech off their kid.
  • Advertisement
  • JelloGirli Yeah, if she cannot help the hand that is 'feeding' her (paying her bills) for an emergency, she no longer needs your help. Do not set yourself on fire for someone that doesn't or will not help you when you need it. That's all there is to it, my energy will always meet the energy I get back.
  • Suspicious_Fan_4... So why doesn't your golden child sibling pay her bills? She's already shown you that she won't be there for you, it's time to go NC. I'm sure it'll be hard, but your mental health will improve once that negative energy is removed from your life
  • Ruby Red30 I pay for some utilities and transfer a small sum to her account every month. My sister moved to a different country for studies and is yet to find a new job.
  • Advertisement
  • D-aug you plant to cut her off, stand on it and cut her off financially too. My gut tells me you won't as you've been programmed for so long to take care of these parasites. I suggest you use that money you've been sending them on a therapist and time pampering yourself. Your kids and family come first. They will most likely leave everything to the golden child anyways so no love lost here. Cut the cord OP. Good luck!

Tags

Scroll down for the next article

Also From FAIL Blog