“I don’t want to pay for this princess wedding”: Father of the bride puts his foot down on paying for lavish wedding, insists the groom’s parent’s pay instead

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Mar 26, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Money, we all want it, but it's never enough. It's that one thing in life that no one will say no to, that never reaches a threshold of excess, and even for people who are billionaires, they've become so accustomed to their lifestyle that there's no going back for them. We think we only need X amount of money to be happy, but the more our money grows, so do our lifestyle expectations. I know that for me, I wasn't raised with a lot of money, and things haven't been easy financially, so I will always feel like I'm in a money deficit no matter how much I actually have. 

When paying for weddings, the minimum is usually thousands on its own. Weddings are one of the most expensive things to pay for, and I can't seem to understand it. I would have an extremely casual wedding. I would much rather the money go towards traveling, a honeymoon, or buying a home. I wouldn't even want a ring because I would be too afraid I would lose it. 

In the story below, the protagonist is the father of a bride whose in-laws are really pushing for the couple to get a fantastical and lavish wedding. He assumed he would spend the same amount on her wedding as he did for his other daughter's, but that's not the case. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for not wanting to pay $100k for a Princess Wedding that the Grooms parents want?

    Cheezburger Image 10484977664
    via oattobar69 from Getty Images Pro / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    So my daughter is getting married...youngest of three. Our first daughter got married in 2021 and had a beautiful wedding at a rock bottom cost of $15k. Only 75 people came because it was during co id and every vendor had low pricing just because of the times. My first daughter was thrilled and very happy! Now the
    via u/Livinggoodeveryday

  • When paying for weddings, the minimum is usually thousands on its own. Weddings are one of the most expensive things to pay for, and I can’t seem to understand it. I would have an extremely casual wedding. I would much rather the money go towards traveling, a honeymoon, or buying a home. I wouldn’t even want a ring because I would be too afraid I would lose it. 

  • 03
    youngest is being talked into this princess wedding that actually is being pushed on her because the in-laws want a big splash....very formal over the top event. We originally explained to the girls that we would give each one the same amount for a wedding...Now with inflation that number has probably gone to
    via u/Livinggoodeveryday
  • 04
    $25k. AITAH for not wanting to pay for something I really don't want to do. I would rather give the newlyweds some extra $$ to help with a house down payment The grooms parents want the big formal expense. What do I do. My daughter says they will pay for it so let them. Not getting a good felling about all this.
    via u/Livinggoodeveryday
  • 05
    oldermom66 • 8h ago If they plan to play for every single expense and your daughter is willing to go along with it, let them have at it. What your daughter is going to find out is that she will have no say. Take whatever you were going to
    via u/oldermom66
  • 06
    give them and give it to them as a gift after the wedding. You are NTA.
    via u/oldermom66
  • 07
    Junior_Statement_... • 8h ago NTA. You made it clear to your kid how much you're willing to spend. if the Inlaws want fancy and say they'll pay for it, LET THEM!!
    via u/Junior_Statement_262
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10484977408
    via Rene Terp from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    Selfpsycho ⚫8h ago If they want to waste their money let them. But they can't force you too. Save your money and help them buy a house. Its more meaningful anyway. NTA
    via u/Selfpsycho
  • 10
    imatroll12 • 8h ago NTA. That's all I have too say. There shouldn't be that much more to say
    via u/imatroll12
  • 11
    Breaking Up47 • 8h ago NTA. Let her future in-laws pay for the wedding.
    via u/Breaking Up47
  • 12
    Dependent Lobste... • 8h ago NTA. I would just write her the check for the amount you intend to give her and anything beyond that the couple or the groom's parents get to cover.
    via u/Dependent_Lobster_18
  • 13
    navedane • 8h ago NTA. $25k is already very generous.
    via u/navedane
  • 14
    Your daughter and her fiancé should really think about what they want. And understand that if they let his parents fund an extravagant wedding, it's likely going to add more stress, and his parents will definitely want control over most details, and your
    via u/navedane
  • 15
    daughter will feel pressure to not let her own wishes (for her wedding) be heard if they're not aligned with the in-laws'.
    via u/navedane
  • 16
    Hope they're mature enough and firm enough to establish well-communicated boundaries.
    via u/navedane
  • 17
    7810 HL 25643 10 HUNDRED DOLL OO E5 /7817770 MAON SARAY 100 FC2 HE 17 ONE HUNDE DIA FC 28628576 A C3 OFAMERICA UNITED FC 2862 FEDERAL HESERVE NOTE HB 33614981 R B2 100 100 HL 705433 MA 312 F UNITED STATES OFAMERICA UNITED STY OFAMERIC UNITED STATES OFAMERICA HB 33 OF HUNDI UNITED STATES OFAMERICA UNITEDS OFAMER HB 33614981 R FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE HB 41636897 E B2 44100 HB 09848010 L HUNDRED DO JULE ED STATE RICA PEDERAL HEEVE NOTE, HF 47723222 C F6 HL 70543307 L12 HL 70 100 OFAMERIC 477 100 HE 17
    via Ale-ks from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    NYCStoryteller • 8h ago NTA. Giving them $15K would be generous, IMHO. If she and her future in laws want a crazy expensive wedding, let them know that they're paying for it.
    via u/NYCStoryteller
  • 19
    Strange_Jackfruit_89 • 8h ago NTA. If they want it, they can pay for it.
    via u/Strange_Jackfruit_89
  • 20
    However, your daughter needs to think long and hard about this. Is she going to always give in to their demands/wishes? What happens if/when children come? What does your daughter and her future spouse want?
    via u/Strange_Jackfruit_89
  • 21
    Dizzy-Government... 8h ago Maybe have a conversation with your daughter and tell her if this big wedding is what she truly wants and the in laws are willing to pay then by all means go for it. Tell her your concern is that
    via u/Dizzy-Government-289
  • 22
    it may get highjacked by the in laws and she may end up having no say especially in certain areas ie food choices, cake flavours etc. perhaps tell her you will pay for her dress so that she will have full control over that choice.
    via u/Dizzy-Government-289
  • 23
    Anything left from the budget after the dress you can gift to them towards a house. You're not the AH,
    via u/Dizzy-Government-289
  • 24
    Super-Feedback8500 • 8h ago If they want an expensive wedding, let them put forward the extra money. Your contribution is more than reasonable.
    via u/Super-Feedback8500

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