"I am not a babysitter": Entitled mom uses playdate as a way to ensure last-minute childcare, refuses to pick her kid up on time despite knowing about the parents' plans

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    Playdates, pick up kids they are over am not babysitter

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    Recently, I've noticed a troubling trend with some parents of my children's playdates-dropping their kids off early or refusing to pick them up at the agreed-upon time.
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    These playdates have predetermined start and end times, yet some parents ignore them, assuming I'll take responsibility for their child indefinitely. Playdates are not free babysitting-respect the agreed-upon times.
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    Update: Some parents have done this at park play dates as well. The drop and run. Side rant: Don't assume that just because someone has support, they have it easier than you.
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    One mother had the nerve to justify her lateness by saying, "You have such a village, and I needed the extra time." She refused to pick up her child on time, even though I had a large family gathering planned
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    after the playdate. My niece was staying for the event, but that was different-I'm comfortable supervising my siblings' children because they know my household rules, I can discipline them if
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    needed, and I don't have to worry about legal repercussions if something goes wrong during a chaotic event that I was hosting and preparing for.
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    Having a "village" does not lessen my workload, nor does it make me responsible for everyone else's children. While I'm happy to help family, I will not be taken advantage of.
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    Koekeloer_⚫ Ugh. I had a playdate recently where mom said she would fetch her son at 5pm. He has ADHD, and let's just say having him in our home is intense.
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    At 5:45pm she texted she was sorry she was running "a little late." At 6pm she arrived! I start dinner prep around 5pm and because I wasn't sure what time he was actually being picked up I made a different meal than planned, as the original meal wasn't going to be enough to feed him too.
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    It just throws things out and it's inconsiderate. After he left, my son said "mom, let's not have another play date with so-and-so. It was a bit much."
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    zitchhawk My neighbor (a single dad) wanted our kids to have a playdate. I texted back that his son was welcome to play in our backyard as long as he, the father, was also present because my kids were still quite young (nearly 2 and nearly 4) and I didn't feel comfortable. watching 3 young kids alone. I never got a text back! Glad I saw through that one.
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    rojita369 I never do at home play dates. We always meet at parks, libraries, or museums. Honestly, if you know these people are like this, stop inviting them.
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    ARCEUSE
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    firstimehomeownerz OP Oh, I never plan to invite them again. I just feel bad for my daughter because there are certain friends she can't have over. These parents have also pulled this at park play dates.
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    Others have said, the offending parents also host playdates but use your kid to keep their kid busy while they are in a different part of the house and the other kids parents are not welcome to stay.
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    I am not okay sending my kids to someone else's house without me yet so I tend to host a lot. My oldest is the age where drop off play dates are the norm now.
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    soft_warm_purry How old are these kids? Tbh I'm totally comfortable with being in the next room while my kids and their friends play, as long as I can hear them and occasionally check on them.
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    Parents are always welcome to stay tho but I model the kind of behaviour I would like to have in friends, ie be comfortable enough to chill and chat and do chores, while keeping a ear out for the kids. Cos like even if there's no one over my
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    kids usually play together in another room while I'm folding laundry or cooking or something. I mean if it's a kid I'm not too familiar with I would definitely ask the parent to stay and be more on top of things, but if we've already played together a few times and been fine then I'd treat them like bonus kids lol
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    firstimehomeownerz OP I do the same but I usually in the room or next room over in ear shot to hear everything. The parents who were delaying picking up their kid left some other girls alone in garage with woodworking tools and the girls were playing with it unsupervised and without safety googles. This is why I do not my let my daughter go over there.
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    The parents were in the backyard when this happened. Just a very lax approach to parenting, which is fine, I just host the play dates.
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    I feel bad for both our kids because now that I know they don't pick up their kid on time, I won't be having her over anymore and my daughter is still not allowed over there.
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    beachyvibesss That's actually insane behavior. I would be mortified to behave that way, !?
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    ycandice Oh I had one of my child's friend always called the same day wanting a "playdate" in a few hours ② Did they really want a play date? Or they just wanted last minute childcare? After the initial call I refused them twice afterwards. I am not free childcare, especially that child made water balloons inside my child's bedroom!
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    Lissypooh628 My kid is too big for playdates now, but when he was little, I only ever left my kid when the mom said so. At the time, I was a single mom working like crazy so they would say "send him over to play and I'll let you know when to come get him."
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    It was amazing. I could sneak a nap in or run errands. But I would never ever assume I was leaving him.
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    aliceswonderland11 I feel this. A few summers ago I had kids dropped off for over a week. It was supposed to be a one night sleepover. The parents kept giving me a different excuse every day. I have a lot of patience. And I've even kept kids for the same (or longer) duration, but it's under different circumstances.
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    These parents acted like their kids were there to hang with mine when in reality our children do not get along and they really just wanted to dump the boys off on me to get fed and a ride to practice for a week while they went away for their daughter's more interesting activity. I was livid.
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    Nepentheoi Wow. I don't have that much patience. I would have told them to pick up their kids or I'm calling the police. I probably would have called the police the morning after the second sleepover night. What excuses did they give? Did they lie and say there was a medical emergency? That's the only situation where I would have been as patient as you.
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    aliceswonderland11 Different excuses. Too far of a drive, too late, gas is $$$, commitments with their other kid (partially true). "The kids just love your kids" (when in reality they were using my house as a place to stay to see their OTHER friends - friends who weren't letting them stay because
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    they'd done this, there!). The parents would dodge my calls and call their kids and run the conversations through them. It's really tough to be hard a when the KIDS are the ones there left feeling unwelcome. Once I realized no one was coming, I had to just kind of leave it at that.
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    Turns out a sibling had an event out of town somewhere fun, so the parents basically bounced and left their kids with us so they could take a mini vacay but not pay for all the siblings.
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    I do take kids in from time to time when parents are struggling or for other reasons. But this family was so blatantly misleading with their intentions.

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