Dad Memes and Tweets for Wholesome Fathers Flexing Their Funny Bone (March 27, 2025)

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  • 01
    itskevinthedad My toddler asked for "pasta with sprinkles" because why bother having dinner and dessert when you can combine them both
  • 02
    Henpecked Hal @Henpecked Hal Half the sh I say to my kids sounds like a line from a cop movie: - show me your hands! - I don't want any trouble - your fingerprints are all over this - FREEZE! - just tell me what happened & we can work out a deal - maybe it was an accident...maybe you didn't mean to do it
  • 03
    Paul Griffiths @paul_griffiths Whole Foods is out here tearing families apart WHOLE FOODS MARKET WHOLE FOODS MARKET ON Mom's Chicken Soup PERISHABLE KEEP REFRIGERATED NET WT 24 OZ (1 LB 8 02) 680g Nana's Chicken Noodle Soup PERISHABLE KEEP REFRIGERATED NET WIT 24 02 (1 LB 8 02) 680g $849 Na No 22 18 Nana's C Soup 5.66
  • 04
    Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom Me: Please put your laundry away. 9yo: Will you get me a treat at the store if I do? Me: Ok fine, sure. 9yo: Why not two treats? -This is why you don't negotiate with terrorists.
  • 05
    ericsmithrocks *chasing my child madly around the house as he blasts a mustard container over everything* Apple Watch: Are you working out right now?
  • 06
    asherperlman ❤ THE INVENTOR OF BASEBALL: so you're gonna be on the field with the players UMPIRE: cool I'm gonna wear my blazer
  • 07
    tessholliday ❤ I would pay endless money for a blue scooby doo gummy
  • 08
    henpecked_hal Welcome to parenthood. The expression "slept like a baby" doesn't mean what you think it means.
  • 09
    Not Today Eric ✶ @NotTodayEric Interviewer: do you have any special talents? Me:
  • 10
    danfounder ✪ Just raw dogged a 20 minute walk in nature. No social, no reels, no texting. Locked in on my steps the whole time. Built different.
  • 11
    Ghostface Kryllah @kryzazzy I don't wanna party like it's 1999, I want to pay my bills like it's 1999
  • 12
    dadandburied ❤ On weekends, my parenting style basically boils down to "whatever, man, you do you"
  • 13
    Pe dott oulaV vlla Michael Rainey @mRainey Cutting the crust off of something called an "uncrustable" was not in the Dad manual. Od oun e Oo WVA CORIVIM HYSEMALL VWD WITK IMCHEDIEML2 601220 20BLE (BERENAVIME) СОИШМИ 5 ОН ГЕГГ ОН БЕСШИ СПАС УСЮ 218VMBEHHA TWW anev 21MVMBEIE VMD DICTACEHIDE2' 21 AECEIVERE O2 GEREED VID 20ABEVW WOMO OB TE22 0E WOTY2262' ENTTA HADHOCEWVIED БЕУИЛІ ВЛШЕК БЕРИЛІа глемы соци Ace ( ES chetroner new EV REVA LOVIC YOOF VIEW vor one a GST JAM RUOR TARUOJA MOVEDEALE BEVD EC
  • 14
    dustinnickerson Having teens is realizing that Napoleon Dynamite is in no way an exaggeration of what teenagers are actually like
  • 15
    kyle.goderwis My mom just texted me "Can you call me later?" So someone has passed away, or there was a squirrel eating the food from the bird feeder.
  • 16
    zydiis if you do not stretch, (back, legs, hips, feet) and you know what the Animaniacs are, you need to start doing it for at least 30 minutes daily or your body will suffer
  • 17
    robison_wells Tonight my son said "dad, I think you need to clean up all these dishes in your office." Two things: 1) someone raised him right 2) apparently it wasn't me
  • 18
    Dad and Buried @dadandburied.bsky.social Instead of saying "the weekend," my 4yo calls Saturday and Sunday "iPad days," if you're wondering how my parenting is going
  • 19
    pj @pjayevans Hey man be careful taking a nap. One of my buddies had a dream where he was getting chased around

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