18-year-old busboy features 22-year-old coworker in viral 'Hear Me Out Cake' video without her permission, manager takes her seriously and reprimands him: 'He said he would take it down but never once actually said sorry'

Advertisement
  • 01

    My coworker (18M) put me (22F) on a "hear me out cake" and posted it online. Do I take action in some way?

    "[I thought] you [were] cool and wouldn't have problem with it"
  • 02
    I work at a diner as a waitress with this kid, let's call him John. John has always seemed pretty chill and busses my tables. Sometimes we chat if we are closing together, usually about school, as he started college not too long ago and I am almost graduated with my BA. Ultimately, we are friendly but not friends.
  • 03
    Last week he said that he was part of a group chat with a handful of other coworkers on instagram and asked if I wanted to join. I said sure because I haven't connected with people at the diner that well and figured it was worth a shot. We swapped instas. The group chat is very normal, friendly banter between coworkers.
  • 04
    EA
  • 05
    Yesterday, I see that John posted a reel of him and a couple of his buddies doing their take on a "hear me out cake", which is usually a very lighthearted and funny way of saying you would get with what are typically fictional and mostly animated characters.
  • 06
    The entire cake adhered to that concept, except toward the end, when MY FACE (a picture that he must have screenshotted from one of my posts), is stuck on the cake. I was the only real person on that cake, and John actually made a comment about how attractive I was and that he wished that he could "hit that", but doubts he has a chance.
  • 07
    I feel insanely grossed out and kind of violated. I want the video taken down, but am not sure if I have the right or authority to do that. I ranted about this to my sister, and she told me to just take it as a compliment and be glad that someone thinks I am pretty. It feels wrong doing that.
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10486466048
  • 09
    Is this grounds for taking this issue to higher ups? I don't know if I am comfortable working with him at the moment. Do I just take care of this myself and tell him that it makes me uncomfortable and I want him to take it down? It is a public video. I am just uncertain how to move forward.
  • 10
    UPDATE: Hi! Idk if this is how you do an update, but this is how I am doing it. So, I screen recorded the video and sent it to my manager. We are on good terms and I was hoping that she would understand and we could rework the schedule so that I don't have him bussing my tables and we won't have to interact. She said this is very odd and may be a violation of conduct? She told me
  • 11
    not to stress about the details and that she would take care of it. I am very grateful with how seriously she took it. She had moved me around so that I will not have to see him as much and I only have a handful of times since then. He has avoided eye contact with me entirely.
  • 12
    Once my manager was aware of the video, I dmed John on insta saying: "The video you made in which you put my face in a hear me out cake for social media is gross and unprofessional. We are coworkers. I did not greenlight being posted online
  • 13
    and se u zed like that. I have talked with (manager) about the situation and my discomfort and would like you to take the video down. You used my image without my consent."
  • 14
    He responded and "apologized" saying that he and his friends were dr and that he made that video on a whim. He told me he thought I was cool and wouldn't have a problem with it. He said he would take it down but never once actually said sorry, just
  • 15
    a gave those excuses. It was deleted. He has been having to take an online course about s hrsment and workplace misconduct or something like that. Something probably meaningless but at least it is slightly a pain in the a.
  • 16
    The only thing now is that he has busboy buddies that side eye and kind of glower at me because of the action I took. On the bright side, they probably won't f with me like that.
  • 17
    Anyway, thanks to anyone reading. I am not sure if anyone will see this, but the comments on the last post were mostly helpful and I am grateful for the perspective that you guys provided, so thanks!
  • 18
    Vinnie_Vegas Saying that you want to hook up with an attractive woman you know in real life is an absurdly incorrect understanding of what the thing actually is. It's meant to be more like "I think the Bee from Bee Movie is hot" "What the f dude" "Hear me out..."
  • 19
    ThrowRA_wgf OP I initially thought he was saying I was ugly Imao
  • 20
    Fast_Ad7203 U dont print someones face and get a whole cake to put it on when ur js d
  • 21
    crymsin Yep, that's a lot of planning. Screenshotting her Insta. Downloading the image. Ordering the cake. Picking up the cake. Videoing with the cake.
  • 22
    G D Start
  • 23
    afirelullaby Proud of you! Notice how he didn't say sorry. He's just mad his crappy behavior is known by you and others. Funny how even with time and consequences he can't see you as a human being
  • 24
    that deserves respect. My guy mate taught me that a lot of straight men don't like women. They like how we make them feel, they like what we do for them but do they actually respect and honor women? This is the type of stuff this guy is showing you.
  • 25
    Sewishly Not only did he not apologise, he also insulted her by saying, "[I] thought [you'd] be cool and wouldn't have a problem with it." Like, because she didn't accept his se u li ing of her, she's gone down in his estimation. The cheeky little sh.
  • 26
    LiliAtReddit They're uncomfortable around you now. Good! Before, you were the only uncomfortable person in the scenario. Now you're all just on even ground. Why do people get so b t-hurt over that? Good for you, you're defintely the cool one here.
  • 27
    PureUncutMalarkey I'm glad your manager took you seriously and I'm glad you stood up to him. No shocker he's making excuses instead of apologising. He's young though so hopefully he'll learn not to s s any woman, let alone a coworker. Also, your sister is a pick me a h le. ¨y h
  • 28
    afraidofwindowspider Ugh sorry that happened. The way people normalize posting strangers (and acquaintances, etc) online is so weird. And even worse in this way. I'm glad your manager took it seriously and I'm sorry that happened.
  • 29
    ThrowRA_wgf OP I know! I have always tried to be really private and protective of myself online, so this was especially unwelcome. Thanks for the kind words!

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article