40-year-old father and teacher leaves 15-year-old daughter's musical early, family refuses to go to the musical at the school where he works: ‘He had not bothered to sit through his own daughter's [performance]’

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    "AITA for refusing to go see my husband’s school musical?"

    I (40's/F) and my husband (40's/M) are in an argument regarding an incident that happened with my daughters musical the previous weekend. My daughter. (15\F) was it a musical at her high school and had been in practices for months leading up to her performance. She performed a total total of four times once for parent night and three different showings
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    "I told him that the second act was only about 35 minutes and would be short and I thought it would be nice for everyone to stay to show support our daughter. He decided to leave anyway and took our sons with him. "

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    from the weekend. I have gone to all of the rehearsals, pick ups from practice, and had volunteered to work during the intermission shifts and pre-shows for the musical boosters group. I only asked that her father and two brothers attend, one show. They came to the afternoon showing and at the intermission he mentioned that he wanted to head home because he had not
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    been feeling well. Plus, he was feeling a little hungry and tired. I told him that the second act was only about 35 minutes and would be short and I thought it would be nice for everyone to stay to show support our daughter. He decided to leave anyway and took our sons with him. I was beyond upset, and we had had an argument about it. I said that it was very selfish to leave and not
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    be there for her daughter when she walked out and everyone else's family had stayed and was giving hugs and flowers and when she came out, it would only be me again. Fast forward to this weekend and my husband asked if we all wanted to go see the musical at the school where he teaches. I said I didn't want to go and sit through someone else's whole musical when he had not bothered to sit through his own
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    daughters. He told me that I'm wrong for my opinion and that I was being hateful. He then asked my daughter if she wanted to go with him, he would take her, but it had to be to the matinee on Sunday because he didn't want to drive at night. She has voice lessons on Sunday so she doesn't want to miss her voice lessons. Instead, he said if she doesn't want to go, he'll take her grandmother instead with him. He is saying that I am being unreasonable and I said that he is not being a supportive fath
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    Update: Thank you for all the responses. I appreciate the suggestions and comments. This behavior from my husband has been escalating the past few years and I suppose I wanted to have some validation that I wasn't overreacting. I also understand that this reflects more than just one situation and shows how fractured the relationship is between my husband myself and my kids. I've been trying to get us
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    into the family therapy for a few years now without success and now I suppose I have to think about what I want for my future and my kids future, thank you once again for all the advice.
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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a hole: I don't know if I am being unreasonable for not going to see his because I am being petty or standing up for our daughter.
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    DblAytch NTA What kind of an idiot are you married to? "I don't like driving at night?" He's a parent... emergencies happen at any time. He's picking the one time your daughter couldn't go to a show because of his driving anxiety?
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    "You're wrong to have an opinion and are being hateful" yet, he's disregarding his daughter's performance Because he couldn't s k it up for 35 minutes? Sorry, OP....you had children with a child
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    Wait-What1327 NTA, but your husband is a selfish father. Your daughter will remember that he couldn't be bothered to be there for her for the rest of her life. Good for you for showing him what a he is and standing up for your daughter. Apparently, someone else's kids are more important than his. He should be ashamed. You should show him everyone's responses on here so he knows how terrible of a dad he is.
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    FormSuccessful1... This is so bizarre. He walked out on his daughter's musical but wants to go to a different one???? I'd be very concerned about why this one is so much more important than his daughters.
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    walkintothelake Your husband is a selfish . Poor baby was hungry and tired. Don't they sell snacks at intermission? And how tiring is it to sit in a dark theatre? Your sons should have stayed and gone home with you and your daughter. I feel bad for your daughter. Musicals are a ton of work and she should have the support of her dad and siblings.
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    Affirmativerobot NTA - why can he prioritize other people's children but not his own kid? Does he think you just really wanted any kind family theater experience and not get that it was all about supporting your daughter?
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    oncohead It sounds like he is all about people thinking he is a super cool and supportive teacher to the students of his school but does not give a care about an organic relationship with his daughter. Be very mindful of the fact that she will be basing her relationships with men on the ways she interacts with her father. There is a real danger of her being willing to accept treatment in relationships because of from her own dad. treatment

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